She cheated and got pregnant by another man and left him. They seemingly had the perfect marriage for 15 years. Now after years of being apart, she is calling him just to chat or when she "finds" things that belonged to him. What do I do? They had no children together and we are trying to conceive. I have never been jealous before, but now I am experiencing alot of sad jealousy. We are perfect together and love each other, but he has been hurt and is overly cautious. He doesn't defend her and he doesn't speak kindly to her, he did tell her once to stop calling because he didn't want it to hurt our relationship, but she chooses to continue to do so. He hasn't reminded her not to call again, so should I tell her not to? She and I went to school together and I have always liked her. She is always cordial to me when I see her in public, but her family treats me like "the other woman", even though whe left him and he and I didn't get together well after their divorce.
2006-07-17 07:06:05 · 6 answers · asked by Junior's Gal 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Did I mention, they work at the same place?!!! In different buildings, but she knows his schedule.
Believe it or not, he and I never fight, we have always gotten along and he is respectful to not to yell at me since I was in an abusive marriage prior to him. I have mentioned to him, but he thinks I may be paranoid because of my past relationship. I can't seem to convince him it is a serious thing for me.
2006-07-17 07:45:54 · update #1
You don't need a third party in any marriage EXSPECIALLY an ex! Tell your husband how you feel and how you think it will threaten your marriage. And let him decide from there. You telling her may cause problems, because you don't know for sure if there are any emotional feelings there from them both. He needs to deal with her.
She may have alterior motives and maybe trying to get him back. You need to tell him this also if you feel like that may be the case to find out how that would make him feel before you do end up pregnant and he decides to leave for her. Not saying he will but just doing the "what if's".
Communicate with him and try not to get mad or yell when doing it. They have history and if anyone has been in a relationship....they know what that means. Some feelings just don't dissolve into hatred.
2006-07-17 07:19:30 · answer #1 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, who the hell cares what her family thinks of you or how they treat you. Second, your husband is doing you a disservice by even answering the phone. You need to have a discussion, and a little phone # changing party. Go out to dinner and cut this cord. His ex knows exactly what she is doing.
Finally, next time you see her and she's cordial, DON'T BE. Screw this b*tch, get her completely out of your life. it's not about being jealous, it's about a healthy relationship between you and him.
2006-07-17 07:48:36 · answer #2 · answered by Sausage Fingers™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this can seriously hurt your relationship. you really need to talk to your husband and let him know that this is hurting you and stresing you. that woman has no reason to call him anymore and she should have the respect to realize that its over and that she has no place calling your home. Ask him to tell her to stop it. if he does tell her and she still calls then its time for you to say something to her. something along the lines of there is no reason to call him, whatever the reason, please stop or my husband and i will take preventitive action to keep you from trying to contact. that should work. just remember to follow through. if you are trying to concieve and this is causeing you stress, then it will be harder for the two of you to concieve. And you shouldnt have to deal with his ex. thats just not playing fair. he does need to know how much this bothers you though, and that you definately want it to stop . good luck on the concieving
2006-07-17 07:21:01 · answer #3 · answered by rednecksurfer_roxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to answer the phone the next time she calls and tell her to ploitely back off, if she doesnt you are going to file harassment charges on her and then come and beat her senseless!
2006-07-17 07:27:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the ex calls my husband too. now i understand when its about the kids. but this chick calls when her and her boyfriend have problems.....just pisses me off but i dont want to look stupid jealous so i just bite my tounge. i feel like he should tell her to stop but if it continues at my house i will be the one to make the call. and yes i believe you should too. good luck.
2006-07-17 07:13:00 · answer #5 · answered by chevy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is only doing it to see if she can get him back or to cause trouble in your marriage. She wants you to feel insecure about her.
2006-07-17 07:26:33 · answer #6 · answered by luvinmjc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋