I had gotten the news a few days back of the death of one of my ex-friends aunt I know that her and her aunt were very close it was so hard for me because we had lost touch for four years and she missed two big events in my life I kind of couldn't forgive her for that aside from all the drama we had over something i felt really wasn't worth it anymore ..so i talked to someone about it and told them the complete story and their advice to me was to go it was a good advice after the story they had told me seems they went through a very similar issue.so I took the advice and went with a friend (which was also suggested) so that i wouldn't back out ...and she kicked me out she said that I'm trying to make some sort of point by being there and like I want to prove I'm better than her I kind of feel like I should have never gone and to think we were inseparable at one point. makes me so sad . Maybe I shouldn't have gone? What would you all have done? And if it was a good advice to go ?
2006-07-17 06:52:54 · 15 answers · asked by Juhanah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
yes
2006-07-17 06:55:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You showed maturity by wanting to pay your respects. Your ex showed hypocrisy by admonishing you. It could solely be from the high emotions of losing one's relative, but I still think she was wrong.
I would have gone - in fact, man, it's been over 15 years ago now that I think about it, my fiance of 11 years was in California, finishing her education (and I didn't know at the time, was also close to ending our relationship) and I read of her grandmother's passing away. I, of course, did not hesitate to stop by for visitation, but things were a little stilted when I was with my fiance. I put it off to the emotions of the situation, and I couldn't get off work for the actual funeral, so it was the only time I was able to see her, since she went immediately back to California. No hostility, but just a bit discomforting.
It was very good advice to go, because your conscience can be alleviated from any guilt or remorse you might have heaped on yourself if you hadn't.
2006-07-17 07:05:58 · answer #2 · answered by Carl S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going was not a mistake.
Even if it was not well received, you did the right thing. If she thought it was for the wrong reasons, well, she is probably pretty emotional right now. She may view it differently, later.
Also, the history of your friendships is more than about how it ended, and the life of the women (her aunt) that you went to pay respects for was long, and more than about you too not getting along at the end of your friendship.
Even if she never speaks to you again, you know that you did the right thing by going to pay your respects.
2006-07-17 06:58:53 · answer #3 · answered by Atom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey you went there to show some respect and that you want to be there and as friend, not looking for points or something. you just though it would be best even if been 4 years not talk to seen them. You went and then she kick you out... you already proof that you did that becasue you think it best to respect that all.
You doing nothing wrong. Later believe me she will still used you see you show up and i kick you out and other happen and you never show up just show up again tell her nothing to proof just being there to show respect and I am sorry for what I did 4 years ago and If you want me to stop then I will respect that.. again I truly sorry. I know can't fix the past but we can start over new. But it up to you... walk away.
2006-07-17 07:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was the right thing to do. You were there to pay respects to her passing Aunt. I think that it was a good thing that you could put your differences aside for a moment to remember her aunt,its just a shame she couldnt for the sake of you and her aunt and I suppose in front of everyone else there.
2006-07-17 06:58:09 · answer #5 · answered by kyleemckenzie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing, young lady.
She has the right to feel what she feels and to be as stupid as she wants. But when a person dies, you need to 'be there' for the person. No matter what the grudges or daggers.
I would do support what you did, 100 percent.
You keep your head high.
2006-07-17 06:58:47 · answer #6 · answered by stillfreezing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. And it was good advice to go. your friend was jeolous of the fact that your more mature of leaving the past behind to pay your respects.
2006-07-17 07:04:07 · answer #7 · answered by mark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u did the rite thing, i wud have done the same, but all point of views cant b the same ..isnt it ? a true friend stands b'side u in ur happiness and sorrow, u did wht was rite accordin 2 u, now leave it 2 ur friend how she takes it .
2006-07-17 07:00:29 · answer #8 · answered by alana18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that just goes to show you how much of a good friend she was. She thinks of herself first as in her wanting to be better than you. You were just being a good person...sheesh...at least people can say you care...kudos....your ex friend however, is a horrbile person end of story.
2006-07-17 06:58:59 · answer #9 · answered by Natasha B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing...maybe she was also feeling guilty about missing your big events so she made it seem like your fault instead of hers...but next time something happens to her, don't go unless you've become friends again.
2006-07-17 06:57:20 · answer #10 · answered by Leroy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would have gone, i mean she was a good person wasnt she? and the whole point of paying respect is showing your grief that she is dead and also showing your joy at having known her.
2006-07-17 06:57:55 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋