but when I bring it up he always makes up an excuse How can I convince him to talk to me about it?
2006-07-17 06:50:58 · 24 answers · asked by just me 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
You won't, when my husband and I got married he made it very clear, "no babies", and after 5 years of marriage, we split up because I wanted a baby and I kept bothering him about it because my mom clock was ticking BIG TIME, so he told me, "you know what? I've had it with you, you want babies I don't so this marriage is not going to work out". We separated and didn't see eachother for a while then I realized that I loved him so much and that I was willing to sacrifice my wanting to be a mom for him, I thought If I have a baby it is going to be with him and not with anybody else, so we worked things out and I promised him not to bring up the BABY topic anymore. After a year and a half, he brought the topic, and he asked me what my thoughts about having a baby were and I said "I am ready" and he told me, "I am ready too", he said "I think I am ready to be a daddy". I am 11 weeks pregnant and very happy, he is too, and most importantly it seems like he is more excited about the baby than me. If you use reverse psycology it works, it has to be a two way agreement in order for you to really enjoy it. The more you try to convince him, the more you are pushing him away. Stop the topic for a while I can tell you right now, he will eventually change his mind about it, I didn't think it was going to happen for me but it did. We are now 29 years old both, very mature and ready for a little one. Give it time.
2006-07-17 07:01:44 · answer #1 · answered by Lilly 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How old are you guys Kelly?? Maybe he wants to spend as much time as possible with just the 2 of you so you could do things together before you decide to have kids. On the other hand some guys just don't want kids because they may feel left out once the child arrives and all o the attention goes to the baby. Is your hubby mature enough to handle having children?
Have a long talk with him ask him the questions I just asked you.
The answer may surprise you :-) Good Luck
2006-07-17 06:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by Tuto@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is pretty sad. I am assuming that this is not something you guys spoke about before marriage as "you thought" he wanted them too. I am not sure there is anything you can do to make him want kids unless you gonna go off birth control without his knowledge and have unprotected sex. maybe he never wanted kids (with you). You need to take a stand and tell him this is really important to you and get his opinion on the issue. Now if you get pregnant and he doesn't want kids, there is the possibility of him leaving you as well as he might grow to love it. Good luck!
2006-07-17 06:57:35 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married last year, and I became a Dad last week ie, July 13th. Its a great feeling and I am feel like top of the world. I think you should not delay in this. Other wise you will have to wait for a KID and that will hurt you both a lot.....
2006-07-17 07:13:45 · answer #4 · answered by Rachel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the worst things is when we assume wrongly. It's possible he doesn't want to have children, and this is a make-or-break issue. It is something you two need to discuss. One way might be to ask questions like: "if you don't want to have children at all, this is something I need to know and prepare for." or "is there some reason why you don't want to talk about it because I'm really confused on what's going on." Best of luck to you.
2006-07-17 06:54:02 · answer #5 · answered by dark_storm73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well they use the old line of I want kids and then 4 years down the road the fail to tell you that can't have kids....no I hope that is not the story
If he is not willing to have children with you (or does not want kids) then I would suggest letting him know again how much you thought children would be part of the marriage.
2006-07-17 06:55:11 · answer #6 · answered by USuck79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a toughy.
He absolutely refuses to talk about it?
Try to dig deep and find out what is really going on? I know my husband doesn't talk about much...but I would just not give up but not nag...and try to explain to him how you are feeling and what you want.
If he respects you and loves you I think he will come around and talk to you about it.
Most of the guys I know instantly think loss of freedom even more so than marriage...you know you are like his mommy and he would lose you to the baby...who knows...I don't know your husband. But I think guys mostly think about theirselves and how the baby will affect them.
Personally I would just tell him your feelings...and hopefully at some point he will understand how important this is to you.
:) smile and don't give up.
2006-07-17 06:55:59 · answer #7 · answered by Apple Blossom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him talk about it and you can't force him to stay if you get pregnant. This is something that probably should have been addressed before the wedding, but that's in the past now. There might be some strategies on the following site. Good luck to you.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/
2006-07-17 06:56:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may not want to talk to you about it because he knows how much you want to have children and he doesn't feel the same way. Let him know that he can talk to you about this and reassure him that you will just listen. Hopefully he will let you in and then the 2 of you can proceed from there.
2006-07-17 06:56:00 · answer #9 · answered by USC Fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There could be a lot of factors since 4 years have passed.
Finances is one
2006-07-17 06:56:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋