I got married a little over a year ago and I am not sure if I made the right decision. Before the wedding I had doubts but never said anything because I thought it was just cold feet. My husband and I argue and he seems to focus all of his attention on other things. At first I tried to work things out but now I have started spending more time with my friends. I think about getting a divorce but I do not want to disappoint our families. What should I do?
2006-07-17 06:34:50 · 13 answers · asked by becjohn09 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think some of the problems are that I was 21. I had just graduated from college, we had been together for 5 years...it just seemed like the next step. So now I feel like I never had my independence and I haven't really figured myself out.
2006-07-17 07:09:59 · update #1
What are you arguing about? Are these things that can be resolved?
What are the things that you have differences about? Can you find some common ground (some things you both like to do together) that you all can build on?
What made you start to like/love this person?
What is missing in your life that makes you not want to be with him or want another person?
These are obvious questions but you should ask them to yourself before getting a divorce.
Most of all, you should not worry about disappointing your families if you have done what you can to work things out. Good Luck luv!
2006-07-17 06:42:38 · answer #1 · answered by ZIAGACITY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are talking about. I had doubts about my marriage and sometimes I still wonder if I made the right decision. But I love the guy very much and even if we have problems, I'm sticking it out with him.
My parents would understand if I would do something, but I have extented family that would be horrified if I did something like this. But I married him for better or worse, and I don't want to leave. I simplily love him too much.
Also, most people when they get married, they have a picture of how it is going to be. Sometimes or most of the time it is way off. Marriage is hard work, and it takes work 24/7, and you don't just happen to live happily ever after!
2006-07-17 06:43:29 · answer #2 · answered by ~~Catbird Woman~~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention the word "love". Do you love your husband? If you don't then-face the families-and let him find someone who does. So, you made a mistake, lots of people do, but I feel it's more of a mistake to stay in a marriage that is not a real one. My daughter just got married, and we had a secert signal for her to use if she decided that wasn't what she wanted to do. She didn't use it that day, but if I ever see that signal, you can bet I will do what I can to help her. I want to see her happy, and if this isn't what she thought it would be or hoped it would be then I would pay for the divorce myself. It is better to go now before children are involved. There is not too many people now days that worry what their families think much worry about hurting them. But as a parent, I would rather you call it quits now, then later. Your parents proably all ready know you aren't really happy, so it may be a comfort to them also. Good luck and God bless....
2006-07-17 06:57:16 · answer #3 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know. As soon has he has nothing pressing to do, you need to let himknow you are unhappy and about what. Most guys will just assume everything is honky-dory unless it is plainly in front of him that there is a problem. Spending more time with your friends will just cause you to grow even further apart. If he loves you, and sees that you are unhappy to the point of contemplating divorce, he will want to fix it too. You need to know you have tried everything before walking away.
2006-07-17 06:44:49 · answer #4 · answered by T S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to marriage counseling. It's a tragedy to end what could be a good thing just because of a few initial problems. If you are both willing to go to counseling and be open and honest then the situation will more likely be resolved.
2006-07-17 06:45:20 · answer #5 · answered by big_dog832001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without saying what the issues are, it's difficult to tell you what to do. If you feel like the issues cannot be overcome by talk, counseling, etc., then by all means, get a divorce sooner than later. Good luck
2006-07-17 06:39:59 · answer #6 · answered by Sausage Fingers™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down with your hubby and talk things over. Communication is the number one thing. Without it, you two are only drifting further and further apart. if talking one on one isnt working and only turning into screaming matches, then go to a councler together. Then you have a third person, who isnt going to judge the two of you, but will help keep the peace.
Best wishes and good luck!
2006-07-17 06:39:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's likely that you have the ability to correct the situation in the bedroom. Be available, and perhaps even proactive. Couples who make love daily do not get divorced.
2006-07-17 06:38:26 · answer #8 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus your attention to him instead on your friends. The engine needs a starter; if one of you two doesn't start this resolution, then who will? Do you want him? If not, then the he!! with it. But if you do, then you have to figure a creative way to get him to focus on you, while focusing on him.
2006-07-17 06:41:12 · answer #9 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey ,you pray and ask God for direction! seems logical huh? However God will lead you in the right direction and everything will work out fine!!!!
2006-07-17 06:43:41 · answer #10 · answered by cocoa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋