I ask questions of random topics often. Politics, religion, cultures, polls etc. Every once in a while, I ask opinions regarding personal situations. Easier to get strangers opinions sometimes. A few have been about my marriage and the issues I face with my husband. I just found out that he has been looking my questions up to see what I'm asking and who's answering. We went through this about six weeks ago, and I requested privacy and that he understand that sometimes, knowing someone else out there understands and/or has been through the same thing, is theraputic. He agreed not to invade again. Well, that changed today. I am considering a separation, so I guess that means all bets are off, and he needed to dig. Why doesn't he realize that this behavior just confirms my feelings that the relationship has failed?
2006-07-17 06:26:00 · 12 answers · asked by carolinagrl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"Jude D" Interesting that you don't have any contact info.! You, ironically, sound just like my husband. Perhaps a scorned ex-husband you are? Or soon to be?? I just asked a question, you don't need to be an @ss about it. Yes, Y!A is public, but he had never even heard about it before I mentioned it, and he's never gone on it other than the two times to check my q & a's. Hmmm.....?
For the rest of you who asked, I have absolutely nothing to hide. My reason for being irritated with this is because of the commitment to not do it again, not because of the content. There is no dishonesty involved and he's simply upset that people that don't even know him, might judge him based on some of my questions. Personally, if I found out that he was telling "Imadumas" in West Virginia, that his wife was a ***** and nagged at him all the time, I wouldn't give a damn. But thats just me.
2006-07-17 08:30:01 · update #1
He obviously feels there is a lack of trust and communication in your relationship. He is spying because he thinks you have something to hide from him. And whether you do or not, he feels this way for a reason. I think he should have respected your privacy like you two had previously discussed, BUT I also think he is hurting and feels he cant find out what is wrong because you wont talk to him, so he has to find out on his own, ie, stalking your Yahoo Answers and such. If you have nothing to hide, let him know he is welcomed to check out your account anytime, and that you prefer he didnt but if he needs to convince himself you have nothing to hide then to go for it. I don't really know what else to say, other than he doesn't trust you for some reason, that only you two know. Communication is definitely the key if you want to try and keep your marriage together. Good luck.
2006-07-17 06:47:33 · answer #1 · answered by heathermama_tx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went over the questions you had asked, but you also have let of some steam about your marriage and the way your husband treats you and you have asked some questions about porn. Never in your question did you mention "love", do you love this man. Maybe he is searching for what is going on in your mind, so he can help you and himself. Privacy in a marriage is such a hot topic. I feel like if you are doing something that you would not want him to see, hear, or read then you are disrespecting them. I wish I could find out what's going on with my husband. I am sorry to say if I knew how to "spy" on him I would. Because too many things are going on that I have no clue what to do. If you don't want to be there any longer with your husband-just tell him and move on. It was wrong for him to dig after saying he wouldn't, but he might have felt he had no choice. There is too many what if's in your situation. Something must have happened for you to think seperation and him to break his promise, so maybe it is time for you to leave. But I would think about it long and hard, because he might have done it out of love. Then he could be trying to find some ammunition on you if you do leave...What if...Your are very hurt and angry right now, so take a breather and calm down before making any decision you might regret later. God bless....
2006-07-17 07:23:45 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he feels a need to look, sounds to me like he has some trust issues. Maybe you need to seek some counseling. Maybe you should just sit down and talk it over with him. Not in a confrontational way, but just as man and wife and communicate like you are supposed to in a marriage. Trust and communication are huge in a relationship. If you dont have them, you dont have anything!
2006-07-17 06:40:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guy did the comparable element purely i did no longer capture him he advised me approximately it. some issues he advised me replace into he replace into driving with the aid of the domicile whilst i replace into off from artwork to make useful no adult men have been coming with the aid of and he pronounced he did another spying yet did no longer circulate into information. i replace right into a touch stunned and laughed because of the fact i understand me and that i've got no longer something to disguise so he replace into dropping his time yet he got here across that out. i understand why he did it he has had some somewhat undesirable relationships before me he additionally had an ex take money from his account and in the commencing up we did no longer have a joint account yet for years we've because of the fact he believe me. My component is despite if i could have found out he replace into spying i does no longer have cared because of the fact i like him and if that's what it takes for him to believe understanding what he went threw then it replace into superb for me. I pronounced for extra desirable or worse threw thickness and skinny and that i meant it. mutually as that may not a concern every physique circulate threw it is a few thing extra human beings circulate threw than they understand they only did no longer capture it. upload ON- i want to function the actuality he did no longer tell me that he replace into doing this till years later i don't understand how long he even did this. From what he replace into telling me I deliver jointly it replace into during the 1st 365 days we've been jointly thou.
2016-11-02 05:29:41 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt go as far as to get another User ID. My fiance is the same way. He always wants to see who i email, who's answers me on here. ALL the time. yes its annoying. but at times you just have to laugh. LOL...
I think you two are having alot more issues then him seeing your questions on Y!answers. I think you two need to sit down and have a long talk (or a few long talks) and try to work things out.
Best wishes!
2006-07-17 06:37:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes and no..it can be hurtful to people to find out that the person they love is soliciting adive from strangers or even a close personal friend..if your asking he"s doing this or he's doing that..maybe let him know what your concens are..I dumped a girl for always asking her sisters advice about me..I wasent dating her sister..I got fed up.. Its nice to get feedback from people but after all other avenues have been exausted. Im sure my fiance wouldent want me getting advice from a single girl who is eyeing my house and everything she has and would may try to give me a nudge twards getting rid of her..ect ect ect
2006-07-17 06:45:22 · answer #6 · answered by confused 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you posted your comments on a public board and then get angry that he looks at them? sorry but you are way in the wrong here. if you want to keep your questions/concerns private use a diary, use a fake name, or talk to a therapist who is bound by law not to reveal what you say otherwise you have no one but yourself to blame when he looks at the things you write on a public forum.
really how arrogant is it for you to expect that he will refrain from using a publically available website becuase you aren't bright enough to either find a private forum for your questions or hide your identity when you ask personal questions?
he is not invading anything. and, seriously if you can talk to the world at large but still expect that conversation to be private from the person to whom you are married you really shouldn't be married.
2006-07-17 06:41:52 · answer #7 · answered by jude D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like there are major trust issues in your marriage. Also try a different sign on that he doesn't know about. They are free.
2006-07-17 06:30:09 · answer #8 · answered by pjthedj247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are looking for any reason to leave. If you aren't happy, don't use this as an excuse. But it's very important that you sit down with him and tell him WHY your leaving.
2006-07-17 06:48:13 · answer #9 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey just change your password or change your name on here u can get a new yahoo ID.hit me up if u need more info
2006-07-17 09:20:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋