My sister inlaw has gotten out of hand. She's 21 and she lives with her mom. She doesn't do nothing at the house and doesn't wash her own clothes. Has loud sex with her boyfriend and yells at her mother. Doesn't repect at all, my mother inlaw is tired doesn't get any kind of contribution financially or laborally in the house. What do I say or what kind of advice should I give her without getting too involved?
2006-07-17 06:25:49 · 24 answers · asked by Irene A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
have your husband talk to his sister tell him what you have seen going on and let him know how she is treating his mother. He would be able to make more of an impact on his sister.
2006-07-17 06:30:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, until your mother-in-law decides to put a stop to all the abuse she is getting, there isn't really anything you or anyone can say or do about the situation. She has to be the one to tell her daughter how things are going to be while living under her roof. Your mother-in-law must first find her self respect before she can be respected by others. At least she is blessed with you for a daughter-in-law...not many women care about their mother-in-laws. Your mother- in-law is allowing this to go on for a reason. But to say anything would put you in the middle of a family drama, and either the mother-in-law, or sister-in-law would be mad at you for interfering.
2006-07-17 06:36:06 · answer #2 · answered by lajoy05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your mother in law and sister in law both need counseling. It sounds like they both have low self esteem. The mother is letting the daughter walk all over her. The daughter is obviously letting her boyfriend walk all over her. If the daughter had any respect for herself she wouldn't be having loud sex with her boyfriend where her mother can hear. If the mother had any respect for herself she wouldn't allow her daughter to treat her badly. They more than likely are suffering from depression, also. It depresses me just thinking about the situation. Imagine living it. I hope you stay out of it because you will probably look like the bad guy. Even if you suggest counseling, I'm still thinking they would make you out to be the witch. Good luck to you and your family.
2006-07-17 06:40:59 · answer #3 · answered by NORTH WEST 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a whole lot because your motherinlaw is aware of whats going on so if she wanted to do something about it she would and if you say to much it might just add more full to the fire. If anything talk to your mother inlaw and just let her know your concerns and let her know that your there if she does need any advise or someone to talk to. As for your sister in law, she might get pissed and cause more drama, because in her mind it's her business and if she has no morals or respect for her mother then i dout what you half to say to her would help.
2006-07-17 06:34:07 · answer #4 · answered by nicky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont give any advice. If you give any advice then you are already too involved. SHe wont change until her MOM makes her change. Her mother has allowed her to act this way by not kicking her out or making her do household chores. Therefore it is the mom's fault and the mom has to start demanding respect from her daughter herself. It is NOT your place to say anything. If you do the mom probably wont listen anyway and the daugther will hate you if you butt in.
2006-07-17 06:34:16 · answer #5 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't do nuthin
is double negative
you has to get rest of family together (and Mom) an sit this woman down.
You tell her what she can and can't do, or of all her things are out on the street.
you give her 2 weeks to change, an if she gives you (any of the family members) any lip, she has 24 hrs, an then all her stuff is on the sidewalk, an you change the locks.
2006-07-17 06:32:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough love! That swhat she has to do. Put her foot down and tell her to get a job and get out. Your mother in law is giving that girl a free ride and hurting her daughter by doing it. That girl will never value the dollar. She doesn't have to, your mother in law is doing it for her. Good luck.
2006-07-17 06:28:54 · answer #7 · answered by mag 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say squat. It is none of your business what others do or how they live their lives. There is an old saying:
"You are where you want to be, you are with who you want to be with, and you are doing what you want to be doing. If not, then you are preparing for change."
You cannot change their situation in any way. Your opinion is just that, your opinion. If her mom does not have a problem with it, then why should you? If her mom does have a problem with it and wants things to change, then she has to deal with it in her own way. Interferring will just make you the enemy to one or both.
2006-07-17 06:33:52 · answer #8 · answered by Lord L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out, this will cause drama if you do. Nothing is worse than drama within the family.
She is out of control and if I were your mother in law I would kick her out. She's old enough to do something about it. Hell, i'm 18 and I am being "kicked out" this Sept. Your sister in law needs to grow up.
2006-07-17 06:32:50 · answer #9 · answered by Seinfeld 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None. The mother needs to kick the daughter out.
2006-07-17 06:28:09 · answer #10 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay out of it, unless she asks, and even then it is better to stay out of it. You are coming between a mother and her daughter. Almost no matter what you do, you come out as the person that caused it, and then neither person likes you.
2006-07-17 06:28:06 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋