how do i stop this cycle?

Question

growing up my mother was a perfectionist and nothing was done right for her. i hated the constant pressure of not being perfect and had haunted me as an adult. i am now doing what i hated so much as a child. how do i stop this cycle?

Answer 1

Perfectionism is tied in with those negative thought patterns. Sure, it's good to expect yourself to do well, but perfection is absolutely impossible. If you don't let go of perfectionism, you really can't fully recover because you'll always be critical of yourself. To eliminate perfectionism you should learn the difference between "the best you can do" and "perfect." Also praise yourself for every last accomplishment, every day, no matter how small it seems. Just relax, and remember nothing can be perfect. Don't be so critical of yourself and ease up a bit.

Answer 2

I think the fact that you are aware that it is happening is a good step...when you feel yourself doing this, back off - take a deep breath, count, whatever works for you.....also, sometimes it helps to talk to someone - a good friend, a counslor, a church member, just someone you feel comfortable sharing these concerns with as well as your success and set backs

Answer 3

You can change. Your mother probably won't.
I have a mother the same way, nothing is ever good enough.
Don't try to please your mother, just do what you have to do.
Trying to please her will only drive you nuts, it will make you
feel worse about yourself. YOU are just fine the way you ARE.
Don't let her beat you down. This is HER problem. Don't make
her problem yours. Stay on your own course. And pray to God
for help and guidence. Your mother is the one who is lacking.
Give yourself the unconditional love you need.....

Answer 4

well remember nobody is perfect. not me not you, even not your mom. just do the best that you can.

Answer 5

DO YOU KNOW WHAT O.C.D. ASK FOR HELP YOU WILL BE JUST LIKE HER . GET A SHRINK