i really dont want to get through the pain of delivery again.but the point is no1 is forcing me to take another baby.but,when i looked at my son,i feel bad.as he stayed lonlely at home after school.and i cant give him so much time,as i have to do household works of my own.and my husband also remain busy with office.shall i try for second child?is it ok for my son?i am in abroad now.so,if i take baby,then workload will be more for me.but,i am thinking about my son.although i am also thinking abt my husbands ability to maintain 2babies in future.i am so confused abt this.pls help me with real advice.thanks.
2006-07-17 05:08:55 · 17 answers · asked by Farjo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, either you're not American, or you are mentally handicapped. Hopefully the first one. Honey, learn something and learn it real quick, no matter how many kids you have - they will always seem lonely, sad, angry, or some other guilt driving emotion.
You see, it's as easy as this.. no one in life is ever happy with what they have. Kids who have younger siblings always want no siblings, kids without siblings always want a big brother or sister (never a younger one by the way).
You don't want to *take* another baby, you may want to *make another baby* in the future, but do it ONLY if YOU want another child. (And your husband, what he wants matters also... as long as it's what you want. That's the Amercian free woman way.)
Can you afford another baby?
Do YOU want one?
What will you do if the new baby is lonely? (and he or she will be, because your older son will then be annyoed by the baby and want it to leave him alone, or else he will be busy playing older kid games, and with his own friends.) Will you pop out another baby everytime one of your kids seems lonely?
Your son would be almost 2 years older before he could even watch the new baby walk. He would be 3 - 4 years older before his new baby sibling could TALK back to him or play.
If your son seems lonely, it's your own guilt about not spending enough QUALITY time with him. Read him some books (start a routine, kids NEED routines), take him to the park, play a game with him, color with him, sing songs, do arts and crafts projects, MAKE PLAY DATES with other mommies who have sons his age (this is where you and the mommy go to McDonalds and have lunch while your sons play for an hour), sign him up for some kids activities/sports/ or lessons. (Singing, soccer, swimming, etc.)....
If anything, seriously - your son will feel hurt if you have another baby. You don't have time for him now, and once you are pregnant and then pop that 'for a playmate' baby out - you will start ignoring your son even more. Which will make him resent the new baby, and feel even more unloved or ignored by his parents than he already does.
TIP for more time: Get off the computer and spend extra time with your poor son. Take the kid for a walk, screw the dishes and instead go outsie and play catch or just run around and giggle with him.
*just shakes her head some more and sighs*
I swear, half the population just needs to be fixed.
2006-07-17 05:22:09 · answer #1 · answered by Inked Fantasy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you stop worrying so much over this, and let God 's plan develop for you?
I can relate to yr dilemma, I have an only daughter, and I got very ill when I had her during birth i mean, I was discovered to have Cystic Fibrosis which is a genetic medical condition that has no cure and it is terminal.
After finding that out, and my horrible pain aside unable to breathe during my last trimester of pregnancy I had no desire to have more or risk my life too and have a daughter with no mom at all if I tried for another baby.
I know children who do not have siblings sometimes have it harder than those who do.
But maybe your options can be elsewhere like taking yr son along with other kids to places to play and start connecting with other mom's who have only one child and maybe exchange ideas and make friendships so that your son has many children to play with.
I know its tough at home when it would be easier if the child could have another sibling.
If you can, and your husband wants too also, consider having another one so your son does not end up hating life because he never Had siblings.
2006-07-17 05:17:08 · answer #2 · answered by noteparece? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two childern will increase your work load and reduce the time you have for those household chores that take you away right now. A second baby to serve as a babysitter is no reason to have another child IMO.
2006-07-17 05:12:07 · answer #3 · answered by DesignR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I beleive you should start out with play dates with any free time you have. having a baby would be stress full for your four year old and he would actually be mean to the baby becouse you are spending more time with the baby and he will be wandering why your not paying as much attention to him anymore so he will be more dissapointed than excited you should wait until you have the time to spend on the child and your four year old will understand more and not just think your being mean to him
2006-07-17 05:19:08 · answer #4 · answered by Britney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that maybe you could adopt a baby or go through the pain because your son needs someone to play with to keep himself occupied! Good luck! Make the right decision!
2006-07-17 05:16:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i wouldn't i have 2 kids and all they do is fight all of the time your son well grow out of this stage the reason why he is acting selfish is that the only way he know how to get attention from you you are giving him to much attention you need to back off a little
because the more attention you give them the more they want and aspect from you you need to set your limited with him and stick to it.what about your son friends have them come over ounce in a while and play with him.
2006-07-17 05:19:16 · answer #6 · answered by little ace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can't he do after school activities? i dont think a second child is your answer. i have a 4 yr old son too and i feel the same way as you. i'm a single parent who did work full time, but i went back to part time work so i could spend more time with him. i have noticed a difference too.
2006-07-17 05:12:59 · answer #7 · answered by Jan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its no longer egocentric! My first infant, my son, he wasn't colicky yet he replace right into a very intense maintenance infant. He replace into continuously ill, did no longer sleep contained in direction of the night till he replace into just about one, and infrequently ever smiled and cried ALOT. he's 7 now and we call him our "lively newborn", lol. anyhow, my 2nd and third young ones have been somewhat person-friendly and the biggest rays of light. So, it is attainable to have a 2nd infant that is genuinely distinctive than your first. Your daughter continues to be purely 6 months previous. you're only shifting into the somewhat sturdy component to parenting. My motehr used to humorous tale that the 1st six months are organic drudgery. i presumed ti replace into merciless till I had a touch one and various it is authentic, lol. anyhow, my component is her colic and whatnot continues to be very sparkling. I assure you thru the time she is one which would be a much off memory. Or she'll a minimum of be extra uncomplicated. And we could say god forbid you do have yet another colicky infant. it is your 2nd, and if no longer the rest you would be plenty extra comfortable wtih your 2nd, having been with the aid of it before. you will guard it extra desirable. Your older daughter will help save you busy and get contained in direction of the days and help save the infant entertained. I wish you teh ultimate of success which includes your determination!
2016-11-02 05:23:42 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about it - what is a (will be 5 or 6 years old) young boy going to have in common with a baby...how is that going to make him less "lonely" and less "selfish". If he's selfish - then teach him properly. Having another sibling is going to fix that - it's your fault.
2006-07-17 05:12:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALL children need a sibling. Another child is a gift to your son, even if he doesn't think so at first. They will have each other when they are older and both you and your husband are gone.
2006-07-17 05:12:50 · answer #10 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋