Its almost, like, you cant compare to what they did...How can one not be so insecure?
2006-07-17 04:33:23 · 5 answers · asked by The Starr Company 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm tying this with your other question now, and also would like to suggest that your inability to accept their past is not a weakness or personal flaw like what is so frequently pimped around as psychological health. It's a rational response. Your partner has a vastly more developed schematic and conceptual depth along some behaviors that are not conducive to partnership than what you do. You would be insane not to be sensitive to the fact that they have at least thought about this behavior more than you have for the simple fact that they have spent more time engaging in it.
I hope that you are not married, and if in which case I'm sorry that their disclosure wasn't made to you before hand.
If you are not married, you might consider politely disengaging from the relationship with a suggestion of future viability if it's true, but with the idea that you need to look at a lot more of the world, and that it would be premature to commit where you are at right now. This isn't about you competing with other people from your partner's past, it's about you being unsatisfied that all the other opportunities you will be giving up for this person are worth believing this person's commitment.
Again, look at other countries since it provides the different perspective that you seem to wonder about. It also gives you face value for things you do in the future.
Tough deal,
Best of luck
2006-07-17 07:40:44 · answer #1 · answered by bizsmithy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You insecurity is understandable.
However, realize one thing;
that your partner has chosen you and wants to be with YOU.... not any of their previous partners.
Nowadays, getting involved with someone also means they usally come with a past and all that may entail. Stop trying to compare yourself to people who no longer matter to your partner, and enjoy what the two of you now share. The longer you know your partner, the more you will come to know and trust them (hopefully) and the less important these past partners will become to you.
2006-07-17 04:47:52 · answer #2 · answered by DG 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all you can't change the past. Second, if you love that person, put it behind you and go from there. Especially, if he/she has changed their ways and no longer lives on the "wild" side. I'm sure he/she must be ashamed of what they did. Forgive and forget if it didn't involve you.
2006-07-17 05:09:15 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they are with you now, so that means that you can't compare to their past. You are better than it.
2006-07-17 04:36:13 · answer #4 · answered by heatherdrake2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a grip; its the past and you can NOT compete or change the past.
2006-07-17 04:36:10 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋