I'm in love with one of my closest friends, but she ain't in love with me. Please help?

Question

I normally never get this desperate, but I have never loved someone whom I couldn't avoid when it didn't work out.
We have had sex two nights ago, the next day I felt in love, and I told her. She likes me a lot but she isn't in love with me. I could try to avoid her, see her less then before, but we share a whole lot of friends, so it's simply not possible. I realise I will get hurt many times in the near future because she is really flirty, and now I myself can never flirt with her again, but I'll have to watch her doing that to other guys. I don't want any friends to know the situation, because it will only make things harder I think. Please, if someone can help me, I would be very greatful.

1. She is not a b*tch or anything! I'm very flirty myself so she thought it wasn't more than that.

2. She likes me, she says I'm beautiful and she says I'm hot. However...

3. I CANNOT avoid her or I'd have to avoid half of my best friends. It's a ten day festival in our home city that we go to every night. Tonight is only the third...

Answer 1

Now she doesn't want to remain friends? That's not enough for you? It may have to be. Sometimes having sex with friends is just a way to destroy a good friendship! Maybe you said the "L" word just a bit too soon, and she got scared, you could explain to her that you meant that you loved her as a good friend, (and when you began to love her, it was through friendship...so this would not be a lie. Would it?)

Do not sit and pine and send her longing glances, and feel sad, it's time for you to shine, you need to act like the sex was just sex if that's the way she wants to keep it, try things HER way. If she is really the flirty type, then she doesn't want to be hog tied, so just be the same as ever with her like the sex meant no more than going to the movies with her. Stay in the mix, stay around your friends, and act like you did not mean the serious kind of love that you really meant! Give that a try, maybe she will wonder why you are not pining away for her if you really loved her for a girlfriend. Tell her well it's just that I really care about our friendship...sometimes if a man is not so easy and availablle, the woman will go back to see if she did or didn't really "push his buttons"...It's a game, she's flirty, so she's a player...Play the game...and don't be a sad sack or a stalker, chances are if you don't look miserable and morose then she will be more interested (maybe). It's a hellova lot better than moping around and missing all of the fun this summer because you said something too serious to quickly.

Hold your head up and try some different tactics, a woman likes a man who is confident, and not so damn needy. Get offa the pity pot sweetie, there are good times to be had, and maybe if she sees that you are not so serious about LOVING or being "in love" with her, she will want to come back to find out more about you!

Good luck, you are probably young, and there's fun to be had, if you sit around and feel sad, you are the one who will suffer. She ain't letting any grass grow under her shoes, maybe she's best as just a friend? She may think she can have you anytime, but if she sees you are not miserable, it may give her a different aspect, that you don't NEED her as more than a friend to be happy. Now think about what I am saying, you made yourself too easy for her to quickly!

Answer 2

It can be pretty hard to be in love with someone... i can only tell u that if u can't avoid her than don. I always tell myself that loving someone is not to have her or own her but to see, know and feel that she is happy. Don't really have to bother that u will feel hurt or miserable in the future as u will one day notice that if she is happy u will feel the same way too.

Come and think of it.... Ask yourself these questions... Do u really think that u love her?? Is she the only lady u are going to have in this life??

Know that whenever she flirt ard u will feel hurt, miserable tis and that. Why not try to keep her by ur side whenever she's about to start flirting?? Don ask how u will figure it out. Decision is urs to make. Gd luck to u.

Answer 3

Dude, life is a lot easier if you relax a little. It's ok to not be with someone you're in love with. I'm not trying to make light of your situation, of course it's frustrating, but you don't *need* her to be in love with you and you don't *need* to get away from her. You've told her you love her and she seems understanding even if she doesn't reciprocate the feeling, so just let it be. There are a lot of positive feelings involved with love if you don't let all of the "ohmygodohmygod-I-need-you be-with-me love-me sleep-with-me pleasepleaseplease" feelings get in the way of that.

You obviously have a great friend. Enjoy your friendship with her, and let the romantic part of your feelings fade.

Answer 4

just take one day at a time, if she likes you and you are havin sex then just let things fold out for you , you never know most times love isnt over nite and it can take time but sounds like she would like bein involved w/you so just relax and hope for the best she could come around if not just let things go you will find the one whos worth it for you when you least expect it so just hold on good luck , you dont need to tell anyone thats your buss. keep on the down load if you like most of the time its the best way to handle things.

Answer 5

this is a tricky situation, there is nothing as hard as facing rejection from your own friend. A friendship is worth alot and if you can, keep to it. maybe with time she will learn to love you in the same way, but do not rush it or act desperate, you might ruin what you already have.

Answer 6

Well never share a woman like that, but you knew in advance what she is when you fell in love you made possibly the biggest mistake of your life. Becuase you can not love someone that is available to everyone so to speak.

That is worse than death,

don't feel to bad I know people who married active prostitutes, pretty crappy is it not.

Answer 7

Kimikiss organic Rouge!!! Aihara Kouichi wakes from a dream the place his youthful self became into crying. while he is going to respond to the door, he famous a gorgeous woman status in front of him. She immediately enters on an identical time as reacquainting herself with issues in the abode, or perhaps enters the bathe. A at a loss for words Kouichi tries to recollect if he knew a woman like this in the previous, while his chum Aihara Kazuki is obtainable in. A fake impact is led to while the lady comes out of the bathing room, yet she without warning realizes who Kazuki is. Kazuki additionally realizes who the lady is: Mizusawa Mao. ultimately determining that it relatively is his youngsters chum, Kouichi welcomes Mao back. while Kouichi’s mom starts chatting with Mao approximately her residing in France, Kouichi notices how plenty Mao has replaced. p.s. this description is unquestionably in straightforward terms for the 1st episode...however the teach gets relatively solid alongside the way

Answer 8

You shouldn't be intimate with someone unless you have a commitment, then there are no hurt feelings like this. Since you talked with her about this, respect her feelings, and move on. Maybe you had better guard your feelings a little closer in the future.

Answer 9

You can avoid her if you want to....you just want to torture yourself.

The ONLY hope you have of getting her is to avoid her, and focus on you. She'll get curious, and wonder why you aren't fawning over her like other guys. Then she'll call in time.

IF she doesn't...THEN you REALLY don't want this girl. She's a game player.

Answer 10

That nothing more than lust or infatuation. She shouldn't be in love with you after a romp two nights ago. If you want to enjoy the friendship don't scare her off with such commentary.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.