is it complaining?

Question

me and my hubby are having probs...i can't stop feeling less loved....he can't show me love....i don't knwo if we are in love still...we have probs as busy at work...i try to be supportive most of the times...and when i expect his time and he has not been able to ..then he gets frustrated and says i am insensitive....and i get so mad...and we end up having fight..we have been fighting everyweekend now....from past 3 weeks...he doesn't come up to my expectn and i don't come up to his...i don't want to continue being like this....whats the way to deal with such sitns...can't u expect ane thing from the one whom u love???

Answer 1

You won't get any where by complaining- So Don't.

Try these things:

1. be pleasant when he comes home ( smile even if you have to fake a smile)
act as if you haven't been fighting or you forgot about it.

2. be dressed nice when he comes home ( a little sexy )

3. Try taking a shower with him to relax him and you too.
( If he does not want to than you take one, leave the door part way open, then forget something he needs to bring you while you are in the shower.

The point I'm trying to make is simple
( women are the ones that control sex in a relationship, Its just some women don't know how it works and most men don't know its happening)
Science has proved that men are visually stimulated. (So visually stimulate him)

be nice, smile a lot (it makes us wander what you are up to)

dress sexy, get the back field in motion ( tease subtly )

If it does not work the first time try several times in a month in different ways. Make your self feel sexy he will respond with affection.

BUT don't apply pressure that make every thing worse and
just starts fights.

Answer 2

you need to sort out your feelings first. Calm down and spent some time on you . What do you really want out of life ? Do you still love him? How much is to much to take? How far are you willing to go for your marriage? When you find out what you want then you let your spouse now what you want . Not in an nagging way where you say you have to stop doing this this and this. You say, I have looked at my life and this is what I want and I hope you want to save our marriage to but if he doesn't he doesn't and you will have to except that. The two of you have to agree to stop. Just stop. Breathe. You sound like you are on the verge of a divorce you really need to consider counseling. Life is difficult but it shouldn't be this diffcult not with the one you love. You may want to consider divorce. You didn't say if you have kids but I have to say that this shouldn't be a factor on whether you stay or not. Kids will be much happier when ya'll are happy and it sounds like it hasn't been good for a long time. The way ya'll are fighting just doesn't happen over night as you think. People take and take and take from each other until they explode. You will hear older couples say it takes alot to make a marriage work and some will say pray but in the end as much as I love God, he gives us free will and this is your chance to do yours. There is someone out their for you who will support you and love you with everything that they have please don't settle for hurt and disappiontment. You both may just not belong together and if that's the case then you both need to let go and let each other be happy. I know what you are going through it's hard to let go but when you make the decision trust in it, it will be hard but you have to love yourself enough to make that choice.

Answer 3

having a meeting with him. To stop the fight both of you have to talk about each other problem so that both can understand each other. This is not complaining, is just lack of communication. Communication is important in an organisation and is even more important in a marriage couple's day to day living. Remember to stay cool during the conversation.

Answer 4

Your on different emotional levels, which is not uncommon, but to feel the love you must become at least closer to each others level...I doubt very seriously that it doesn't exist, it just isn't expressed by either to the point that one another recognize it in the form that nurtures their needs and desires. This takes alot of communications....take the time to talk to one another to recognize where the mis-communications is...seek professional help if that helps you make the time to reach a resolution...good luck..blessings.

Answer 5

No you are not complaining. You are voicing some serious concerns for your marriage.

You first have to make yourself happy with how you handle your daily life and goals. Make something of yourself whether it is cleaning your house or getting a great job. DO it for you. If you are happy in who you are then your spouse will follow suit usually. You cant change anyone. You can only change yourself. If you change yourself because you want to then the outside glow on your face and in your actions will rub off on others.

IF COMPLAINING helps you get the answers you need then do it.

Answer 6

Everyone has problems. What exactly are you fighting about? Don't sweat the little things. If you really want to stay with eachother then you are both going to have to try and work it out and find out why there is so much conflict.

Answer 7

do you all have another couple to talk to..someone to listen to both of your sides of the story...

it sounds like unmet needs on both sides..men a women have basic needs that should be met by our spouses. when they are not met it causes frustration.

Answer 8

You better nip it in the bud...Tell him, I love you and It's so upseting us fighting every weekend...can we both try to make it work...sit down together and really talk, I want us to be happy together...

Answer 9

If you have to ask then you have a serious problem.You should perhaps consult a marriage counselor.

Answer 10

Good luck with that.