Why do I hate hugs?

Question

I find it very easy to hug my fiance, but when any of my friends/family come over I find it very hard to hug them and give them affection. I dont really like to be touched much, I am much happier when I feel like there is no pressure to hug. Sometimes I feel like I have to give them a hug. Does anyone know what might be the problem?

Answer 1

It's your personal space. Some people have issues with their personal space (or "bubble"). For univited hugs, you get tense and don't want it. You can hug your fiance or others (if you choose to) because you let down your guard and let these people in your "bubble". However, all others cannot enter your bubble.
If anything, just tell them they should respect your personal space and they should comply.

Answer 2

You hate hugs because you are uncomfortable with intimacy. Hugs should be a "neutral", physical expression of affection. The fact that they aren't for you indicates an inner issue, not a physical one. Frear, lack of trust and insecurity come to mind.
For you a hug makes you feel vulnerable. You're opening yourself up to draw close to someone. Since the issue arises with your family, your inner issues are directed towards them... fear, lack of trust or insecurity.... Ever feel like you're not "good enough" for any of them? Have they betrayed your trust? Hurt you?
You need to resolve the problem, because it most definitely will affect the intimacy you can have with your fiance/husband. You say it doesn't affect you now, but it does. You already think about it when you hug him. As he becomes more important to your life, you'll become more uncomfortable with physical intimacy... and there goes your sex life.

Answer 3

HAY!!, I am the same way. I don't like being hugged by ppl that I am not necessarily intimate with. I think it has to do with how emotionally sensitive a person is. You and I, subconciously associate hugs/touch with intamacy. So hugging your friends and family seems very akward.

Answer 4

i dont think there is a problem...i feel the same way...my friends hug all the time i try backing away so they dont end up hugging me. (its kinda funny actually) i just dont feel comfortable hugging people in front of everybody and i dont like being touched much either..
some people like hugs others dont...some people like hugs from little people some people like them from everyone

Answer 5

I don't think there's a problem, I used to be like that in high school (but people change). Maybe you just feel like it's a little too intimate? I guess hugs just aren't for everyone.

Answer 6

affection goes hand in hand with feeling really close to someone. in order to feel really close to someone you and they have to be real, no masks, no expecatations, kind, selfless to the other, enjoying the other with no strings attached and vice versa. If you didnt have those things growing up...my conjecture is that you dont like being affectionate because you dont want to be hypocritical.

Answer 7

you just might not like to be suffocated by people, or you lack interest in showing affection "every time" you see your friend. hell, i wash my hands every time i shake someones hand, it don't mean that I'm a germ-a-phope. i just don't like it.. i don't think you have a problem unless you just can't find it in yourself to give some one a hug when they REALLY need one... but other than that i don't think you have anything to worry about.

Answer 8

were you "hurt" by any adult family member when you were little?

regardless of the answer, go to counseling and see why you fear this type of contact.

if nothing else you'll have a better understanding of "why"

Answer 9

Dunno what the problem might be I hope I'm not being to forward ((((((Ashley))))))) Hugs are as much for the hugger as the huggee!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/