he was drinking heavy at the time.he met her in the bar. he says it over,and he is sorry. she is in her 30,s and out of state.she was here taking care of her dads estate.
2006-07-17 03:34:45 · 11 answers · asked by ablaze 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What do you think you should do?
Was it an affair affair or a one night stand? I think I would be more forgiving of a one night stand, but the trust there is gone. I wouldn't be able to trust him no matter how sorry he was. And being drunk is no excuse...I'm sure you've been married long enough that he shouldn't 'forget' that he's married.
2006-07-17 04:16:55 · answer #1 · answered by PATTY H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You think when you reach our age, we are pretty well stable and nothing could possibly hurt us other than the death of our spouse. I had to wake up too, and it hurts, that after all this time something like this could happen. You must have all the same questions and worries that I had, and I am afaird that I haven't resolved all of them yet. First, do you love him, you didn't mention that and that is the main focus. If you still love him, then talk to him about your feelings, and he needs to know how badly this has hurt you, and he's not to go drinking alone again! It was proably a one time thing and would never happen again, but telling your heart that is another story. If he has been a good husband to you and you have been truley happy, then try to forget it and go on with your life. If the marriage is not good, and you aren't happy-then I would consider trying to find some. With or without him. Just because you are 54 and have been a homemaker doesn't mean you could not support yourself. It would mean some major changes, but you can do it. It might not be easy at first, but there is more possibilties out there then you can imagine. Think of yourself for once! If you are like me, I always put him and the kids first. Well, the kids are grown, and I am thinking about me now-something you need to do. So, sit down and take time to think about your life with him, and then think about what if- you leave-which sounds better? Again, I am so sorry this had to happen, and I pray that you find a peace dealing with this. God bless.....
2006-07-17 11:03:26 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this what he does when he gets drunk or have alot to drink? Will he do the same thing when he gets drunk every time? Can you trust him now? Can you sleep at night?
If you can't trust him like you use to and you cannot sleep then it's time to seperate for a while. Maybe not call it quits but you cant stay with him while you are getting your head and plans together as to what to do. Move away or make him move and make him earn your trust again. Make it hard for him so he will know what a precious thing he had and could have lost. We women make it so easy for these men to hurt us and we take them back without any punishment. If you stay with him, what was the lesson taught? If needed start over, go on a couple of dates after a while. But make him pay for what he did. He disrespected you, your body, your health, and the marriage. At least if he didnt respect you, he could've respected your health. Were they precautious?
2006-07-17 10:57:09 · answer #3 · answered by ♣DreamDancer♣ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband still drinking? Has this happened before? How long have you been married? Do you think you can ever trust him again? Are you still attracted to him? Do you still love him and want to be with him? Ask yourself these things and if you really want to work it out, seek counseling. It will help... The saying goes "Once a cheater, always a cheater". I don't believe that though. Don't make a decision too quickly. Think long and hard before making up your mind. Is the marriage worth saving?
2006-07-17 10:47:00 · answer #4 · answered by RRWoman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it was a one time thing. Did he tell you or did you find out yourself? If he told you...that took a lot of courage. It doesn't matter that he was drinking he knew what he did. You really need to decide if you and your husband can work though this. It is going to take some time and maybe some counseling for the both of you. Good luck!
2006-07-17 10:49:05 · answer #5 · answered by sleeplessdreamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he still drinking heavily? If so then chances are it will happen again. If not then you need to decide if you can trust him and if your marriage is important enough to you to try and make it work. Marriage counseling would probably be a wise choice whether it be with you minister or a licensed therapist.
2006-07-17 10:52:22 · answer #6 · answered by ltlwzl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You kick him to the curb. By taking him back in, you are pretty much telling him "Hey, I don't mind.." And if you are really upset with him, it will eat at you, and the two of you will fight over it a lot.
Did he tell you about it, or did you find out? I'd be more lenient with my husband had he told me without me finding out, but that's not saying I'd be forgiving either way.
2006-07-17 10:50:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, are you sure that's his first time? I feel for you dear. I know it must hurt right into your insides thinking of him with her like that. If you want it to work out, you will have to step up to the plate, swallow your pride and try. He will undoubtedly, need to do a whole lot of butt kissing. Good Luck. I hope you are happy again soon.
2006-07-17 10:44:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know if my wife did that I would not stay with her thats just wrong maybe you should go have a little fun and you just tell your husband your sorry
2006-07-17 10:42:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to ask yourself 2 questions.
Am i better of with him or without him?
Can I live with him, and forgive him, knowing what he has done?
2006-07-17 10:50:59 · answer #10 · answered by eaglerock60 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋