Marriage counsoling?

Question

Anybody ever have to go to marriage counsolling? Did it help? Please describe in detail if it was worth your time and effort.

April G- If I weren't interested in counsoling, why would I ask this question?

Answer 1

I believe for it to work, first you should both have individual counseling.....Get your personal issues taken care of, then with the help of the counselor,do couple counseling. You both have to really be open minded and accept criticism if necessary. You may both have to change a few things and decide that your both in this for the long haul. Its not easy.....you may hear things that your not ready to hear or dont want to eccept. But if you love each other and are committed to the relationship than it can help. I am in therapy myself due to issues way before I met my husband. I didnt realize I buried alot of emotional things from my past and he was paying the price. There are books that any counselor can give you that will help too. In our case it was my childhood and being abused by a family member that I needed help coming to terms with. I was actually reliving that with my husband and withdrawing from him because of it. Our therapist gave him a book on how to help a spouse dealing with that very problem. It was amazing how he saw the things he read about in me, and saw how the things he was doing only made it worse. I drew farther and farther into my self and away from everyone in my life..went as far as trying to commit suicide because I couldnt be the person I knew I should be. Its been two years since that day, and with out counseling, we wouldnt have made it through.
Try it and really commit yourself to what they say. Even if your partner is against it, you will be amazed at what you can learn about yourself. Then if it doesnt work, and you cant resolve your problems, then you know you gave it the best you can...and you will be able to walk away feeling better about yourself.
Good luck

Answer 2

Since i don't know the nature of the problem between you and your partner. What i can safely say is that marriage Counseling will only be good, if both parties want to give their marriage a second chance.

If both parties are bent on not giving the relationship a second chance then all the counseling will not work at all. If children are caught up in this marital cross fire, thing can be like opening a Pandora box and there is no way to say how this will affect them.

Some children never get over the fact of their parents being separated.

Answer 3

YEAH, IF U TAKE MARRIAGE SERIOUSLY. I HAD FEELING ABOUT HOW MY HUSBANDS SPOKE TO ME, AND TREATED ME BUT I WOULD ALWAYS GET ATTACKED WHEN IT WAS ME AND HIM ALONE. WHEN WE WENT TO THE COUNSOLING WE HAD THAT THIRD PARTY, TO BREAK THE TENSION ,A ND MADE US LISTEN, U SHOULD NEVER GO IN TRYNA PIN WHO IS RIGHT OR WRONG, B/C U WONT HAVE AN OPEN MIND. IT WAS WORTH OUR TIME. WE ARE CHRISTIAN AND THE PASTOR EXPLAINED ALOT OF THINGS PERTAINING TO THE BIBLE, AND CLEARED UP ALL THE SEXES BULL PPL TRY TO PUT ON IT. AFTER BIBLE PART WE DID FUN TESTS AND WE EVEN TALKED ABOUT OUR SEX LIFES AND HOW TO MAINTAIN IT.
BUT ALSO ANOTHER THING THAT WILL HELP IS AFTER THE COUNSOLING IS OVER IS TO CONTINUE IT, PROBLEMS DON'T STOP COMING AFTER U GO TO COUNSOLING. SO KEEP GOING

Answer 4

My hubby had already been through counseling himself when we hit our crisis point. If he hadn't then, yes we would probably have gone for some. As it turns out, we managed to sort through all our problems and are still sorting things as and when they crop up, due to his own personal experiences in therapy. Without his pre-learned cognitive therapy skills, I don't know if we would have made it through.

If the counselor if a good one and you both like him/her, then it will work wonders and you will fix things in your relationship that neither of you knew were broken to start with. A marriage is worth fighting for. We have managed, not only to save ours but make it more a more honest, open, loving and exciting partnership than either of us ever imagined.

Was it worth all the hours of talking and talking and crying and talking? YES, you bet it was!!

Answer 5

I'm sure this is rare but I know a couple who went to a marriage counselor and the husband wound up having an affair with the counselor , true story. He left the wife and remained with the marriage counselor.

Answer 6

Yes, went before we got married because I was unsure. My husband made all kinds of promises and I thought the counselor would help me make the right decisions. Unfortunately, unless both people are honest, its a waste of money. They never give real advice unfortunately. I felt like a big cirle of questions that never got answered.

Answer 7

These counselors generally have heard it all before, 100's of times so it good to have a professional opinion of were your situation is heading and recommendations of how to get it back on track...that's providing your partner is not playing games and is being honest with their side of the story

Answer 8

I wish I had the opportunity to go to marriage counseling. I was married for twenty years, but my ex thought she needed a change, with her boss. I believe if we had, things would have come out that she did not want to come out. Maybe, just maybe, we could have worked things out. Good Luck!

Answer 9

It did not help me at all. All we did was argue with the counselor in front of us.

I think if you decide to do it, do it separately, so that you do not fall into arguments like I did and not solve much.

Answer 10

I when two month ago it helped a lot you have to go in with a good attitude.we said it couldn't hurt if you want to know more [e-mail]