I have came to realize that guys look for qualities like their mothers in their girlfriends/wives..Same goes for woman, they look for qualities like their dads in their partners. As weird as this sounds, do you agree?
2006-07-17 02:58:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Depends. A lot of it is so, then there is that people look for the contrary to what they dislike in their parents, to find it in their partners...
Also, for women, there was research that if you are on the Pill, you are looking for men who are like your father or brother; if you are not, you are looking for men who are as different from them as possible (because when you can reproduce, you look for genetic diversity; when you cannot reproduce, you look for security as you have known as a child).
What people look for in a partner is a very, very complex thing. Just as any motivation.
2006-07-17 03:03:34 · answer #1 · answered by AlphaOne_ 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
i think so in some cases. I have spent alot of time thinking about this, however, and I have become really sure about the qualities i like and dislike in both my father and mother. the guy i am with now shares the same good qualities that my dad has, but not the bad ones. i think i tried to make sure that this little trend that seems to be pretty common wouldnt happen to me for the worse
2006-07-17 03:26:29 · answer #2 · answered by marydazetwentyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you necessarily LOOK for those qualities on purpose but you do end up finding them. Sometimes you have a problem with one of your parents and subconsciously find someone to help you relive those problems so that you get a second chance to work them out. There's a whole book about this by Harville Hendrix called "Getting the Love You Want."
2006-07-17 03:06:56 · answer #3 · answered by Teresita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think so yes, but don't think of it in a gross way. The qualities that I love about my partner that are like my dad are that he is sarcastic, witty and funny. His mother is sweet and kind, and I appreciate that I have those similar qualities in myself.
Don't think about it too much - it's nothing like when I'm with my boyfriend it's like being with my dad. That would be means for dumping him ;)
And, in response to above - I'm NOT on the Pill.
2006-07-17 03:04:13 · answer #4 · answered by plcarnrike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think we do. I look for someone with a funny sense of humor. My father is a real prankster and I enjoy that in a male partner. There are things that I don't want that my father has, like his temper. LOL! But I do tend to go for older guys for some reason, and it has nothing to do with having a father figure, as my father and I are very close.
2006-07-17 03:12:41 · answer #5 · answered by Mac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I do. However, most people don't realize that the origins of their relationships actually help shape the dynamics of their future relationships. Because of my work I often hear women bemoan the fact that they married the equivalent of their fathers (from a negative perspective). In reality the things we respect in our parents may impact who we choose as spouses, but the negatives that emerge may be due to what WE bring into the relationship. Here's why: We are shaped, conditioned, and accustomed to a SYSTEM of communication in our families. Without realizing it we recreate those patterns of interaction with others as we move along in life. The natural reactions to how we speak, respond, become enraged, laugh, etc., begin to RECREATE an environment that is familiar to us. Those around us start reminding us of those we have known. WHY? Because as they get to know us better they begin responding to us as others have. Remember, of course, that WE are also subject to naturally responding to others in patterns that they are familiar with, in regard to past relationships. BTW ..... This works on the positive side also. If we (or you) are absolutely beautiful in your interactions with others, you will see positive patterns that remind you of parents, past friends, brothers, sisters, etc., in those you come to know in the future.
2006-07-17 03:19:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's frustrating that it's true (with the following explanation). Some of the things we hate(d) about our parents we do look for in a mate (e.g. Girls who were mistreated by their fathers--even though they hate this--tend to hook up with mates who will mistreat them). Some of the things we admire about our parents become important priorities in selecting a mate. In the end, we seem to be confined subconsciously to categories of criteria our parents possessed.
2006-07-17 03:04:22 · answer #7 · answered by chdoctor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it happens, but I think it can work either way. If people did not have a good relationship with their parent, they will look for people who are not like them. However, I think some of it happens subconsciously.
2006-07-17 03:02:57 · answer #8 · answered by jd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nooooo my dad is the last person i would want my boyfriend to remind me of they are usually the exact opposites and my dad hates them!!! maybe im weird and my older brothers girlfriends are the exact opposite of my mom so i dont know but i have heard that b4
2006-07-17 03:06:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right! We look for the best in our parents as we look for the best in our partners!@
2006-07-17 03:03:24 · answer #10 · answered by nswblue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋