My son lives with me I have been offered a job in Scotland he wants to come with me but his mother says no?

Question

My wife and I are in the middle of a divorce, my son lives with me and will occassionally go and stay with his mother. I have been offered a job in Scotland and my son wants to come with me, his mother has said no, because I live with my girlfriend and she does not want her to look after my son, can she stop us from going

Answer 1

That must be decided within the court system...generally you cannot take him out of the state from which you reside, however, if you've been primary caretaker perhaps the courts will allow provisions that allow her son to be able to visit mom during certain periods of the year...it may cost you but may be possible...good luck.

Answer 2

I assume that you live in England, Wales or some other part of the UK? If this is the case then forget all that stuff about transportation of a minor across state lines and to a different country - that's US law. If the child remains within the UK then the "international child abduction" aspect doesn't come into play.

[For more general information for any other interested party reading this, it is contrary to the Hague Convention to take a child to a different country, even within the EU without the consent of the other parent, if that parent has Parental Responsibility. See http://www.reunite.org/ for more information, advice and a list of UK solicitors who deal in these cases]

That's not to say that you can just move the child wherever you want in the UK... you have probably agreed a Statement of Arrangements for the child with your ex. This document sets out who is going to look after him, where he goes to school and when and where he gets to see the other parent. This is a Court Document that you must not breach. Even if you haven't signed such an agreement, if your ex has Parental Responsibility for your son (in other word's she's recognised as his mother and is not barred from seeing him due to abuse, violence, mental incapacity etc) then she has the right to have a say in her son's future and will probably take you to Court if she disagrees with your decisions.

The correct procedure is to go back to your Solicitors and see if the agreed Arrangements can be altered to suit your proposed new circumstances - which may mean another trip to Court.

In all Court proceedings of this nature the Court will look first and foremost at what is best for the child, not either of the parents. If you can demonstrate that son will be better off, at at least no worse off, will see his mother just as often (and perhaps even for longer) etc etc then the chances are that the Court will agree to the new Arrangements. For example, the education system in Scotland has an excellent reputation on the whole and he may benefit from that. Show that you have worked out things like that, rather than just what your new job is going to be.

What you should do is present your case from the point of view of the benefits to your son as the primary consideration. What you should not do is give the impression that this is just for you, that you are being selfish and difficult and unwilling to compromise. If you start out being the one who's willing to compromise and take your son's needs fully into consideration then it will be your ex that looks like being the difficult one and the Court may be less willing to side with her point of view unless they can see a real disadvantage to your son in going with you.

Good luck and think of your son first!

Answer 3

Regardless of your feelings for your ex. However angry you may be towards her, whatever your feelings for her as a mother for your son, you really have to consider whats best for your child.... Closer, more esablished relationship with Mum or Daddy's new job, do you really think this move and job will benefit your son more than having a long-term relationship with his Mum? Do you really want to be responsible for making that relationship more difficult for him (forget about her)... will it be better for him... every child needs to have a relationship with thier mother.

To my knowledge if you were married that means you both automatically have 'EQUAL PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY', that is, you both have equal rights and say on things such as, school, name religion etc. Taking the child to Scotland (from England or Wales) without her permission would not infringe on this as you are not techincally taking the child to another country, but your ex with her automatic rights of equal responsibilty can oppose this especially if you already have an agreement of some form laid down (this could just be visitation times), if this were to disturb this at all then I expect she would have a very strong case in court for you not to move. She could oppose this anyway if she were not happy with it... if contact has been frequent and your child is still young, I doubt the court will side with you as they will almost definately view a closer more established relationship between mother and son as more benefitial than Dad earning more/getting a new job and alienating him from his mother.


Good luck for all of you whatever you do x

Answer 4

Karen? a guy? There are problem with taking a minor child out of the country without agreement of both parents -- in fact taking a minor across state lines without both parents' consent has problems. See an attorney.

Answer 5

If you are UK based, as long as your move does not interfere with any agreed visitation rights your ex wife may have, then you are free to move - it is only if you plan to move out of the country that it is not permissable without the consent of the other parent.

Answer 6

go to court. If your son is of a certain age the court will consider what he wants. Try to make a deal were he spends most of the year with you and the summer with his mom. are the other way around.

Answer 7

If your son is under 16 years old, and his mother doesn't work, he'll probably end up going to live with her (I don't know why he isn't with her now). Your best bet is to talk to your solicitor, I asume you have one if your going through divorce.

Answer 8

trey and sort it out without fighting only the boy will suffer i do hope you sort it out as life is too short i do sympathise with you though as its a terrible predicament if he lives with you you are thew boss

Answer 9

if she really wanted to yes...even if you have full legal custody, she can ask the judge to prohibit you from taking him out of the country....even out of the state...but that's not to say that the judge will grant it....I hope you have a good lawyer.

Answer 10

your his dad yeh? are you really called karen? anyway, no, just take him, its your son as well x