If memories hurt you how can you make it stop?

Question

These aren't the serious memories such as abuse or neglect. These are sort of guilts, regrets, and negative feelings from when you were a child that still come back into your head from time to time. For example: telling lies to make yourself look better even though it hurts someone, physically hurting someone who didn't deserve it when I was aiming for someone that did, etc. I am grown up now and these things are little childish things that should mean nothing to me anymore. However, sometimes these memories just randomly come back to me and I writhe in a struggle to forget or accept these things, but I can't and just have to let it fade from my memory again. During these random flashbacks, I feel exactly what I felt back then, a little boy, even though I know I know better now.

I forgot to add that when I said feel like a little boy I meant feel like a little boy filled with the guilt, embarassment, etc at my actions.

They would probably think I am crazy to apologize to them now and to find them all is impossible.

I am trying to live in the present. I don't even think, mention, or even refer to the past anymore. I don't even like to associate with past people or places. These memories come back randomly and I don't draw them out.

Answer 1

You need some good memories to replace some of your old bad memories.

Do something fun! Do something nice! Start some new memories!

You seriously can change what you remember if you try.

Answer 2

Destined 1 One,
The mind is an interesting place. Perhaps you are starting to realize that it is the environment you truly have your existence in. I have found that you can manipulate it the same way we manipulate the physical world. First of all, you can separate your feelings from your memories with a little practice. Realize that memories are thought habits, and that they can be weakened and broken. I would start by taking a deep look at the memories in question, one at a time. If there is anyone you need to forgive, do so. If there is someone you have wronged, apologize to them. In the flesh if possible, if not, then do it in your mind, and ask for forgiveness. by the way, that also includes forgiving yourself. If you can't love and forgive yourself, you will find life very difficult. After you have done these things, when the old thoughts come up, remind yourself that you have done all anyone could do to correct past discrepancies, and find something positive to think about. It is your mind. Rule it, or be ruled by it. get creative with your internal healing. If you are not immediately successful, appeal to God for help. He has never turned me down when my requests were for wholesome things.

Answer 3

You say these memories make you feel like a little boy again well, part of growing up is learning to forgive yourself. If you have realized that you were wrong and have asked for forgiveness, then you must tell yourself over and over, if necessary, that you have learned a lesson and get past it. It is vital to your well-being! Sometimes if you say it in your mind often enough, even if you don't quite feel it or believe it yet, eventually you will begin to feel that you can forgive yourself. When these thoughts come into your mind, take a deep breath and say, "Ok, I did this when I was young and immature but now I'm grown, I realize I did wrong and am, therefore, a new more mature person and I am getting past this". Good luck to you!

Answer 4

You have to break the cycle. As humans, we dwell upon events that result in things we did not expect because our brain tries to train itself to avoid such events. You need to resolve these events by cutting them short when you explore them. The best way is to put absolute finality down for them. For example, create a list of what happened, what you did, what you should have did and what you can do now to change it. If they come back dwell on the "what you could do now". They will pass in time.

Answer 5

Life is full of missteps and regrets. It does no good to spend your time fretting over them so long as you have learned something from them. After you have, then the mistake becomes a lesson in life and should be filed away as such.

Answer 6

You have to find a positive way to look at it. Everything that happened in your childhood made you the person you are today. You must be a good person now to feel bad the way you do. Learn to love the new you. Lots of people have done horrible things in the past including myself and I look at it as being immature and leave it at that. Most of love who you are now and appreciate that you got the chance to learn early how you shouldn't be.

Answer 7

There are ways such as drugs or alcohol. But I think these memories are there for a reason... perhaps there is something to be learned from them and maybe they pop up at relevant times to stop you from remaking them.

Answer 8

I would say stop punishing yourself over and over again. You have regret for what you did and that is good. If you believe in God and in sin, etc. then apologize to Him for your sins towards other people. And please, forgive yourself, once and for all. I'm sure everybody else has forgiven you. You may suffer from scrupulosity. If you cannot overcome this on your own, maybe therapy would help. Good luck!

Answer 9

try to find those people u have hurt and apoligize to them , if u can not find them ask the lord to take the burden from u , your behavior then is part of y he died for your sins, ask the lord to forgive u too , u will be alright , everyone has those feelings from time to time , at least u know better now, and that shows u r sorry for that behavior good luck and god bless u

Answer 10

u can never make the memories stop, it will come in a merry go around loop and hit u always, what can u do is, u can live ur life happily and forget the past scars or guilts.... GOTCHA