I just wanted to know why sometime we feel a need to go outisde the marriage and have fun. Is it kick that one gets by doing against the social setup? or is it inherent in human nature to be polygamous?
2006-07-17 01:50:43 · 19 answers · asked by Mr Coool 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good question!
I think marriage is a bit of an anachronistic thing these days. It is an institution that seems to lie in tatters after the 20th Century. No one seems to take it seriously any more.
I don't think that going outside of it is a particularly bad thing if you both have the same understanding. For others it is an inviolable entity to be respected, but I think there has been just too much social change over the last 50 years for it to be a respected institution.
Why is it fun? Because sex with same person for 10 years, no matter how good, would get a little boring! You need variety in your life. It is also good to discover new people and to feel like you are attractive to them. Though marriage is stable it can be a little stifling for many and end up feeling like a comfort trap.
So, I think it is good to have extra marital relations provided that it is very much a part of a stronger and larger relationship with your husband/ wife. It takes true strength of trust and love to allow this to happen and still love another.
Keep it interesting; that's what I say.
2006-07-17 01:59:20 · answer #1 · answered by Mr X 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never gone outside my marriage, however I know others who have.
There are lots of reason and excuses.
Not getting any attention at home.
Feeling inadequate in the relationship.
One doesn't see the other as an attractive mate anymore... only partner and mother/father.
A desire to escape "relationship reality" or responsibility, for a while.
I have heard men say they needed to "feel like a man again".
Women sometimes say " I needed to feel loved again, even if only for a little while".
2006-07-17 09:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by sweethvn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many factors that will make anyone want to go outside marriage. Most will be out of fruastration, some for the fun of it, some as you say are polygamous in nature. There is no singular factor that will make one go outside. It is an individual tendency
2006-07-17 08:57:33 · answer #3 · answered by ufan2020 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal to feel tempted by people outside your marriage. I also think that monogomy is very easy for some people and very difficult for others. If you are a person who finds monogomy difficult, you will naturally be more tempted to find other partners outside your marriage. But you do get to make the choice to put the hard work into it and be monogomus and stay faithful to your spouse.
2006-07-17 09:21:57 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you're married it doesn't mean you are cut off from the world and are less human. It's okay to look and find people attractive.
Its a compliment when my husband checks out girls because he still finds me attractive and chooses to be with me. I check out other guys.
There is a difference between casually looking and seeing how attractive some people are, and then there is going up to people and flirting and asking for their phone numbers.
But it is a form of temptation. Its okay to look, not act on.
2006-07-17 10:06:37 · answer #5 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass is always greener. Even if you never acted on anything it would be absolutely right for you to experience the desire to be with someone else other than your spouse.
When anything becomes restricted or forbidden it makes you want it more.
I think most people would probably cheat on their partners without hesitation if they thought there was no chance they were going to get caught or if they could deal with the guilt.
2006-07-17 09:01:13 · answer #6 · answered by Tarnibee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. I honestly can say that I have never had this feeling.. And perhaps you need to look deep within your heart and ask yourself if this woman you are with is truly the one for you.. Regardless of your past, children, whatever you may have together.. If you are feeling this, it's not normal.
2006-07-17 09:09:11 · answer #7 · answered by nik<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are all human, and there are temptations out there.
In my opinion, if your marriage is strong and you have a good relationship with your spouse, those temptations won't be so strong and you'll be able to resist them. Also, don't put yourself in situations where you are tempted to cheat.
2006-07-17 09:55:44 · answer #8 · answered by Lady J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK PEOPLE GO OUTSIDE THE MARRIAGE AND CHEAT BECAUSE THEY GET BORED WITH THEIR LIVES AND FED UP WITH ALOT OF THINGS. SOMETIMES THOUGH ITS A CHALLENGE FOR THEM AND THE THRILL IS A HIGH AND THEY LIKE THAT. SOME PEOPLE HAVE AN ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY AND THATS WHAT THEY ARE ADDCTED TO. BUT I TRULY BELIEVE YOU CANT REALLY LOVE YOUR SPOUSE IF YOU GO OUTSIDE THE MARRIAGE.
2006-07-17 10:05:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
men by nature are polygamous... but you can be extra special by not doing so... please keep the marriage intact especially if you have children to think about... everything can be straighten out between you and your wife... just hang on
2006-07-17 09:10:48 · answer #10 · answered by boyang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋