what can I do about my wifes lack of sexual desire?

Answer 1

Dump her, she is bored to tears with you and plans on gaining 85 lbs just to finish you off as a funtioning male with a personality, RUN WHILE YOU STILL HAVE AN OUNCE OF DIGNITY. It only gets worse.

Answer 2

This is very very common for women as they age. Most hit there sexual peak between 40 and 45. And then menopause rushes is and changes everything.

And from what you said about the lack of intrest in sex and in kissing could be caused by many factors, working together. Hormones, for one. Taking hormones is a common thing for women who are going through menopause, but they really throw off your body. For one, they can't match what your body has done all it's life, cause every woman produces diffrent levels of hormones. Also, estrogen is part of what helps in sexual desire, so if she's not getting enough, she may have no libido. Or, if she's getting too much, she could be moody, and just not feel like having sex. Hormones are not a quick fix, and can aggravate problems. That could be part of the problem. She needs them, she should take them, but it could be contributing.

Also, and this is a BIG thing for women, she's no longer fertile. She can't have babies anymore, and sex, in our minds have become something we don't need anymore. A family friend of mine became very depressed at the idea she couldn't have babies anymore, but it wasn't because she wanted them, it was because she felt as if her purpose had been fulfilled, and now all she had to do was wait to die. And when my mother started through menopause, she felt as if she was no longer young, youthful, or attractive. These things are all in our minds, but they are valid concerns for women. We have reached an age we thought was old, our bodies are kind of "giving up" on us, and we feel less desirable then we did. And that definitley carries over into our sex lives.

Well, now that I gave you some reasons for why she may feel the way she does, I think I could give you some suggestions.

You have been together for many years, and have many more ahead. You have probably been through hell and high water, and you made it. So you should be able to discuss it with her. Talk to her about it, tell her you still find her attractive, and that nothing has changed for you. It may be a long process, and drawn out over a few conversations.

Or take the initiative. The things you used to do to win her over, do them again. Maybe it was flowers for no reason, fancy dinners. Win her over all over again. Bring new things into your lives, and she may start to open up in many ways.

And if all else fails, and she is willing to try to work at it with you, seek counseling. It can help you take those steps together to make it the way you both want it to be. And you could also look into some alternatives to hormone replacment therapy, and try somethings with the approval of her Dr.

And above all, be patient. It may take some time, but with that and a little effort, hopefully you'll get the intamacy you need back.

Good Luck to you, and Thanks!

Answer 3

How long have you been with your wife? When you first meet a partner sex is wonderful and its a constant and ongoing sport, however once you get over the lust it becomes love. Have you tried being romantic or do you think maybe she is finding sex a little boring due to the same routine? May be now its time to experiment, different positions, there are also a great range of adult toys you can purchase from shops or discreetly on-line Good Luck and Happy Sporting

Answer 4

Sorry to hear you are having the same problems as most married men have. I guess what I had to do was make my wife realize that I am a good man and I do a lot of things for her that I don't want to do. It works. Also, ask her how hard is sec exactly, I mean, all you have to do is lay there and enjoy. I then gave my wife alternatives to actual sex, either blow or hand jobs and I asked her again how hard is it to do this stuf? Good luck, just have her put things in perspective. Once she starts questioning what is so hard about it and you start saying how important it is to you, she will have to start doing more for you or questioning her dedication to making a happy relationship.

Answer 5

the question is why doesn't she have desire? did something change in your lifestyle? does she work to much or is she tired? are there some problems in your relationship? does she have some physical diesease (eg. hormone disorder)?
I think you should have a nice long talk about your relationship in a romantic place, maybe over a surprise candel lit dinner. If you love each other then I'm sure you can discuss your problems. If this does not work, then try councelling and see a phisician too.

*fingers crossed*

Answer 6

Find out why there is a lack of sexual desire.
Does she work outside of the home? How many hours? What shift? Easy or hard work? Do you have kids? Does she do all the cooking/cleaning/housework? Does she have issues with her body (not liking the way she looks)?

Answer 7

You just have to turn her on! If you don't know what to do, get a book on sexual pleasure and sexual positions. Try some out. If that doesn't work, try movies with romance & sex. If that doesn't work even a tiny bit, I doubt that porn would even help! If she is repulsed, trying to change her will be very difficult. In this case, your hand will have to be your main partner.

Answer 8

First, speak with her about it. Find out what it truly is - even if its just that she's tired, etc.

Second, see if there are things the two of you can do to turn up her desire level on your own.

Third, if not, consult a doctor.

Answer 9

Rule out hormone deficiencies via a simple blood test. There are several possibilities so _all_ hormone levels need to be checked. There may be a very simple solution - an almost magical cure. I urge you to try it before anything else.

Answer 10

Foreplay
Lubrication-KY Jelly.