What's done is done. I feel apologizing does not change the fact or lessen the pain...What one does is intentional and can not be changed. Even with an apology.
2006-07-17 01:39:49 · 25 answers · asked by scooter47 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sometimes an apology is truly from the heart, a person realizes that what they have said or done was wrong and they are cleansing their wrong with the only way they can, an apology.
Actions cannot be changed you are right, but we can learn from them and grow from them and the first step is to apologize for our lack of knowledge or human compassion.
Sir even Frederick Douglass apologized to the mass suffering of slaves, for he escaped it and could only give voice to their cause not action. If you look at the context of his suffering and apology no man is above that! We do the best that we can with what we know and we learn as we go along. Life is a drawing with no eraser - we just try to fill in the smudged parts along the way.
2006-07-17 01:47:28 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So what you are saying that in anger if you told your wife you hate her, then you should not apologize but let her go on forever thinking that you hate her. Then she will feel what is the use of being married to you and will ask you for a divorce. Because you hate her and she cannot live with hate. Wow. And you cannot see the right in apologizing.
Women go to the hospital to have a child , in great pain. Her husband steps up to her while in labor and holds her hands to offer her comfort and she screams and blames her husband/ boyfriend for her condition while almost choking the life out of him. It is not intentional as you would think. YOU REALLY NEED TO EXPERIENCE LABOR PAINS....LOL
There are many cases i can presence but will stop at these.
I am so sorry to tell you this but you nor anyone else is PERFECT and we will make mistakes. We all say things we don't mean. Especially when we are angry.
But if you feel that way then you just told the whole world that you are very insensitive to peoples feeling (in short- you do not care)
Then you should NEVER get involve with anyone ever.
Because to the majority of people an apology matters. But only a few are like you feel this way. Because what YOU do is intentional because you do not care.
2006-07-17 09:23:37 · answer #2 · answered by vhat40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel no remorse for what was done, then you should not apologize. It would be false and tricksy. What's done IS done,
However, the results of what one does are not always intentional. If I don't realize what I have done hurts someone, then find out the effect it had on them, I can say I'm sorry that it hurt them so much and that CAN lessen the pain others feel. It can let them know that I wasn't deliberately out to get them. And it doesn't cost me a thing.
If a person doesn't care anything about anyone but themselves, then sure, blast through life kicking everyone around but don't ever complain when someone does it to you. That makes you a hypocrite.
2006-07-17 08:49:25 · answer #3 · answered by splitshell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typically people apologize for redemption, not to change what has happened. People feel like they do something bad and the people affected forgive them, than they are doing fine from a karma/God point of view, but most people don't truly care what they've done or they wouldn't have done it.
2006-07-17 08:44:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although it may appear pointless; it is a polite way to acknowledge the injured party's distress or to convey lack of ill-intent. If the infraction was intentional...then it won't matter...the damage is done and irreversible. I do think we should be more careful to not apologize for something we did not do...for it implies you are guilty of the transgression. Sometimes, it is simply empathy, such as "I am sorry for your loss."
2006-07-17 08:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by riverhawthorne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Civility, which includes apologizing, as well as using expressions like "Please" and "Thank you", is the lubricant of society. Without it frictions would be too abrasiv for any community to funciton normally. When you apologize, the recipient can pretend s/he has fogiven you, and you may continue some social interaction without either of you losing face, until actual repairs have been done and real fogiveness and healing take place.
2006-07-17 08:46:44 · answer #6 · answered by AlphaOne_ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An apology allows the person who was hurt to realize that you also now realize what you have done and are sorry for it. It helps to heal the "pain" caused by this action.
2006-07-17 08:43:27 · answer #7 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh that's not true , if u have done something wrong u need to apologize not for just the sake of yourself but those u have hurt , y would u hurt someone and just not care about how it effects them, that is pretty selfish of u, u need to swallow your pride and step down off your high horse and say u r sorry, there is no forgiveness without an apoligy
2006-07-17 08:47:57 · answer #8 · answered by cc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologizing is something we do to make us feel better for wronging someone in some way, intentional or not. It gets the issue of our your conscience.
2006-07-17 08:43:59 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because we're human. People make mistakes. People slip up accidentally. Just because you do something rude or stupid and offend someone, doesn't mean you had the intention of offending someone. You should always apologize for actions that offend others by mistake.
2006-07-17 08:42:24 · answer #10 · answered by rocknrobin21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋