Does someone have any ideas?

Question

WHy do families instigate problems. My aunt doesn't like my husband. My husbands sister doesn't like me. We haven't done any thing to either of them yet when it comes down to the children they always have a say. Not to incourage them about doing right from wrong, but to backtrack what we instill in them that could result to a positive character. They try to make the children feel that they shouldn't do what we say, instead when they leave we are stuck with rebelious children and a disruptive household. I want to correct a problem before it gets to bad in order for them not to end up school drop-outs, incarcerated or dead at an early age because they didn't follow guidelines of someone that has authority over them. I have banded them from my house after an incident with them calling cps. (Although the case was reviewed and thrown out because of no proper evidence). I am not comfortable with their precence. My aunts house is nasty/her child is bad. My sister-n-law gave her kids for drugs

Answer 1

I think that you are doing what is best and just staying away from these people. If you do feel you would like a relationship with them, you must sit them down and tell them that you will not tolerate them disrespecting you to your children. Good luck.

Answer 2

These people are bad news for your kids and I hate to say it, but they don't have a life of their own (or at least not a satisfactory one), otherwise they wouldn't stick their noses into your business. They probably think it's funny to get your kids to not obey you. Very ignorant, but I've seen that behavior before.

Have you ever had a serious conversation with them? You might like to tell them exactly what you want them to do or not to do.

You have an absolute right not to let them into your house or onto your property. Trespassing is a bit different from getting an order of protection. You might not get a protection order, but you can take advantage of trespassing laws.
If they don't follow your rules regarding YOUR children, simply don't open the door for them. It may be rude, but hey ho.. some people just don't "get it" when you're nice.

Answer 3

Sounds like you & hubby need to put your foot down on this.

Have a discussion or send a warning to the inlaws (adults0. Let them know there will be no more interferance or no more visitations.

Let the kids know you are the parents, not the others, & there is an obligation to listen to theose that take carwe of them (you).

You must draw the lines in the sand & make them known & then stick to them.

Good luck

Answer 4

This sounds like people with problems of their own are jealous of you and your husband's good life and want to bring you down to being miserable like them. I think the best thing is to move far away and live a good problem free life away from them. You really cannot help people who do not want to be helped.(But there is nothing wrong with trying)

Answer 5

Sounds like you already have the answer,family or not you have to look after your childrens well being,the aunt and sister are grown they can take care of themselves.Just continue to not let them come to your house until they can grow up and respect the rules of your house!Good luck God bless:O)

Answer 6

I have one policy,
When one person or relative is bad influence to yourself or to your childern, stay the hell away from them and teach your kids to stay away from these kid of people. Tell them reason to do that.
Meaning like
1; Kids they are bad influence,
2: if your kids say no you are wrong and they right, then tell them how their kids are growing up like. Tell them everything how you feel. tell them even that each does not like your father or mother.
Tell that it is bad, it will destory kids life, like they have destroied their own and their kids life.
Be open with them, tell them everything

Do one more thing.

When your aunt or sister-n-law is teaching your kids wrong things mock them back, that they are teaching wrong and prove your point .

it serve them nice.

and what ever you have to say to your kids, say it in sweet and gentle voice and always look in your kids and tell them to do the same

Good luck
you have right to protect and teach your kids. in any possible way.

and

Answer 7

you need to move very far away, not tell anyone where you guys are going. if your husband doesn't want to go or doesn't want this to change leave him behind too, but it seems like he wants this to change as well but if he don't want to move then you need to sit and commpromise about something or all of you can go to family counsling. i hope something works for you guys and you 2 find a solution.

Answer 8

There is no need for you to deal with folk who disrespect you; that goes for family as well. You need peace in your home and heart so I say don't deal with these folk.

Answer 9

you go separate ways... i think that is the best thing to do... to have a life of your own... and let them live a life of their choice