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Me and my girlfriend have been going out for two years now. The other day she told me that i need to give her some space and time.

2006-07-16 22:12:07 · 22 answers · asked by muffin 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

22 answers

You can call me aunty if you want, my friends love talking about there relationships with me and of late strangers to me have found it useful to talk to someone independent and outside of their families.

If you spend 24/7 with a girlfriend than it is understandable that she feels encroached upon. If she has given up all her old friends and no longer goes out with any friends at all, because her relationship with you takes all her time, she will eventually resent you. Circumstances like this can lead to a crisis in a relationship because what is happening is that the dominance of one character soaks up the other, and is destructive of identity and the original creative spirit that drove you together in the first place.

The answer is to step back, allow her some space and time to do her thing.

You also need time to question, what has happened to us for her to put this issue before you? Love and affection needs space not suffocation. Step back a bit, allow her this space, maybe she senses that matters are more serious now, and she needs to ask herself whether this is what you both want for each other.

Two years is a long time and is suggestive that you may be wanting commitment is this something you both want? If not and only you want this, do you know what your girlfriend wants? Do you suspect that someone else has appeared and that the space she feels she needs is a convenient way to weaken your relationship? If this is the case, you need to sit down and talk things through without losing your rag. A breather in such circumstances is a good idea, even though it may not be to your advantage, at least you will know how you stand.

I hope you both enjoy a breather. Fly a little bit go to see some shows a match with your mates etc.After all it might not just be her that needs the break. The tell signs of needing space could have been developing over several months, but you just haven't wanted to admit it. Enjoy life you only have one.
Good luck.

2006-07-16 22:39:51 · answer #1 · answered by Nosey parker 5 · 4 0

No, it just puts them off for a later date. Sometimes people THINK that it fixes problems because the two people remember their warm and fuzzy feelings for each other while they are apart. They will then cover over or dismiss the problems and get back together. Eventually though, the same problems will come up again, often worse because the suppressed feelings over the unresolved problem the first time will come up as well, causing the person to be even more upset, angry, etc. Talking and working through problems is the only way to solve them.

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2016-04-14 00:19:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Time apart doesn´t always help. You have to ask yourself why she wants time apart from you ?
If you think the time apart will be easy it won´t. But listen to your head and not your heart. I made the mistake of trying even harder in the same situation and all it does is pushes them away.
Take a break, no text messages or phone calls, and if she finds that you are the piece thats missing she will come back.
Sometimes people don´t know what they have until it´s not there.
When my wife decided to leave me the worst thing I could have done would have been to ask her to stay. One sided relationships NEVER work. Give her space; if she notices you´re not there then she´ll know what she has. No resentment and play it cool !!!!!!
Lousy advice cos it ain´t easy. I found out the hard way.
Don´t make the same mistake !!!!!

2006-07-16 22:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by Peter R 2 · 0 0

No it doesn't necessarily mean that she has found someone else. What you should do is talk to her and come to a compromise. Sometimes, we do need space. We need to find some of that independance that we had so much of at the start of the relationship. Give her the space she needs and you will enjoy it too. Change is an opportunity in a relationship for better things not always a negative. Be positive and talk to her.

2006-07-16 22:28:49 · answer #4 · answered by Sasha 3 · 0 0

Nothing solves relationship problems, whether you live together or separate. If people could solve these problems there would be no divorce.

In order to live a happy, healthy life, best is to shelve relationship problems and never broach them because such problems arise out of different, at times opposing lines of thinking and can't be solved. If they could be solved, they wouldn't be problems in the first place.
not let them not to Yes it does .

2006-07-17 00:19:33 · answer #5 · answered by Gr8 Gy 2 · 0 0

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2016-04-21 09:48:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

I bet this will help her get a feel for what life would be like without you. Somtimes this is needed in order for her to see her relationsihp from an outside perspective.

For me, (and it took a few years and several relationships to figure this out) spending so much time together is something i had to get used to - and once i did - everything was fine.

i still get restless - but it takes time and for me, it took marriage.

2006-07-16 22:19:35 · answer #7 · answered by ohprettybud 2 · 0 0

It works depending on what your arrangements you have are you spending it apart but still an item or spending it apart with freedom to date other people, get all the details from her before you end up regretting you decisions.

2006-07-16 22:27:40 · answer #8 · answered by Ycul72 3 · 0 0

Put it this way, how many people do u know that have had time apart and are back together better than before? I think its just a way of splitting up but ur both too nice or cowardly to say it!

2006-07-16 22:52:05 · answer #9 · answered by trinity 2 · 0 0

only you know your girl friend do you think she has found some one else.
we all need some time to ourselves and living in each others pockets leads to doom.
Ask her if she wants to work it out or not .
If she says yes tell her you will do all you can to make thing better between you and mean it .if that means letting her go out with the girls once a week dont complain and you can go out with your friends then maybe meet up at the end of the night.
If she says no and you love her tell her you will let her go .

2006-07-17 00:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by Lee2005 1 · 0 0

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