Ref:Help! I have been charged for Breastfeeding my baby and using the hard shoulder of the motorway to do so?

Question

I have posted a previous question so please refer to this. I just want to say that my daughter is my whole world I would never do anything to hurt her or put her in harms way. She is the only family I have and I would always put her safety and life before mine. It has been pretty upsetting reading some of the posts on here in reference to my question. I acknowledge that the hard shoulder is not the best place in the world to stop...I didn't need another 60 odd people in the world to tell me that. That is why I tried for a good 20 minutes to distract my daughter. I have never experienced her crying like that before and as time went on with me driving it just seemed to get worse. I became increasingly distressed and unfortunately I did start crying too because my daughter wouldn't stop. I would not allow my daughter to pass out if she was that upset...why would you think I would let that happen? I cannot be sure I was driving safely (continues in details)…

and when I did see my daughters face had turned bright red that was when I decided I had to stop as I panicked. I think if it happened again I would still do the same as giving my daughter feed did calm her down a lot. The police did request I drive off at the next junction which was nearer than the service station to continue to feed my daughter. The whole experience was humiliating to say the least. I took my top off for no other reason other than to feed my daughter. There was mention by the police of indecency but this was not reflected in the charges I had when I had to go to the police station and be charged (as well as finger printed, pictures taken and interviewed). The charges related to the offense of non-emergency use of the hard shoulder. My biggest fear now is to go through the humiliation again of being in the press. I don’t want this and the thought of this is very distressing.

For those people who think it is ok to e-mail me with abuse please stop. I am trying to be the best mum I can to my daughter.

Answer 1

Nusrsing your children is good, and have your lawyer speak for you, why speak directly to the cops or the media ior whatever?

All the best!
st

Answer 2

It would be interesting to know if Love_movies2 has any children, I very much doubt it!!! Won't waste my energy typing away about how thoughtless the comments were.
Anyway, I have answered your question yesterday and still couldn't help thinking about you yesterday after answering your question. I am a very calm person, but must admit, I was fuming after I read your case. And now finding out that they took your fingerprints... like I said yesterday, the police should go and hunt down the REAL criminals instead of picking on an innocent mother. They said something about indecent exposure - well, I bet they buy The Sun every day and are dribbling over Page 3. Boobs are for feeding babies, and I am fed up with those that view boobs as sexual objects and are against breastfeeding in public. How twisted is this world becoming. I would like to know whereabouts did this incident occur??? Don't be embrassed about anything, and if your story ends up in the paper, so be it!! In fact it should, there should be a public uproar - just think about the title in the paper "Mother prosecuted for feeding in public making national headlines, whilst paedophiles' identities are protected..." Please keep us informed about what happens, most people, those that know what it is like, are on your side. Those that talk bollocks are the ones that haven't got a clue about babies. And those that tell you that you need to control your feelings and not do dumb things, that's crap too. You are a mother and your instincts towards your baby dictate how you react in any given time. And guess what - your inctincts will rarely let you down, and never where your child is concerned. Also post natal depression has nothing to do with any of this and you are not seeking attention like somebody suggested. You are a good mother, be proud!!!!

Answer 3

Without down playing your present stress over the whole situation. In a month or two you will be repeating this story to your friends and laughing over the matter. I sympathise with you but while writing this I am having a little giggle for you. You will get through this and you will also laugh. I hope they dont fine you for the breast feeding thing. But stopping on the hard shoulder was an unfortunate choice.
I feel you had the best intentions, and to continue driving whilst being distracted by your very distressed child is more dangerous than stopping on the hard shoulder. (Driving while on a cell phone for example)Perhaps you should use that in your defence.
Thankyou for the laugh, hope you do soon too.

Answer 4

God love you you have had a traumatic expereince. You are doing so well breastfeeding your daughter. You paniced and did what any mother would do and comforted your child in whatever way you felt neccessary. You did not stop to think about what you were doing as all you could think about was your baby, that is natural. New mothers often do crazy things due to hormones and I think this should be taken into consideration in realtion to your charges. It is terrible you are being charged and I would appeal that - find a good lawyer. We have all done crazy things as parents that when we look back on we cringe but youjust do your best and do what you think is right at the time. Just ignore all the abuse you are getting I am sure these people are not perfect its just that they are not honest enough to admit to their mistakes like you. Just seen the madlass answer - you never know when a breastfed baby will need fed.

Answer 5

Oh sweetie I am so sorry that you were bombarded with unfeeling and idiototic replies. I wish I had seen this the first time.

Yes what you did was silly but in that postion you were not thinking clearly, all you were concentrating on was your child and her pain.

The only thing that I could have said was exactly what the officer said, get off at the first junction and feed her there.

It's very distressing for a new mother to have to listen to her baby cry in such a heartbreaking manner and there should be places along the motorways set up just for these types of emergencies.

I think it was very uncaring for the officers to inflict that treatment on you, they could have helped and just given you a warning.

The only think that I differ with is the taking off of the shirt. That was not called for, you should have just lifted the bottom and you both would have been covered instead of exposed.

I feel for you though and hope this goes away soon.

Answer 6

It sounds like you were upset and not thinking clearly about where the safest place to stop was. Next time, look for an exit and get off to a safe place like a parking lot to stop. I know how hard it can be to think and stay calm with an upset baby crying in a small place like a car.

Why did you take your shirt OFF? Why couldn't you nurse with all your clothes still on? Just lift it up from the bottom or undo a couple of buttons. If you don't know how to nurse without getting undressed, please contact a La Leche League Leader or a Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) to help you figure out how to nurse comfortably in public. (OK...found your other post...still NO REASON to take your top off. OK...it was wet. If you spilled your drink on it in public, would you take it off? No...you probably wouldn't. Even though you leaked on it...you really should have kept your top on. Imagine how this looked to the police officer! A half undressed woman stopped on the shoulder of the road?!)

What you are probably being charged with is stopping in an unsafe place...probably nothing at all specific to your breastfeeding. Do you have a ticket or something that says specifically what they are charging you with? Hopefully, when you go to court you'll just get a little slap on the wrist.

Answer 7

I know the first 3 months with a new baby is hard. Leaking milk is hard. You've gotten a lot of good advice on this topic. Why are you so concerned with people who disagree with you. If you don't want negative emails, go into your profile and make it where people can't email you. Part of me thinks that you just want attention. You may want to talk to your doctor about postpartum depression.

Tell the judge you didn't know you couldn't stop, you were stressed and you learned your lesson. I don't know what the law is about stopping on the shoulder where you live, but if you thought it was an emergency then it was. I think the law part of it will have very little to do with breastfeeding when it gets to court.

You can let a kid cry without hurting them, no matter how mad the baby gets.

Answer 8

I didn't read your previous post, but I can assume you stopped on the side of the road to feed your daughter. Although I agree it probably wasn't the safest, it is a very very hard thing to listen to your child screaming. It makes a parent frantic. I can sympathize with you on this, as this has happened to me in the past and I started driving almost unsafely just to get to a place where I could stop. I couldn't even think of anything but helping my daughter. You are obviously aware of what mistake you made, but I wanted to compliment you on caring so much about your daughter. Everything in the news details so many parents and their lack of caring for their children. I am sending you an e mail pat on the back. I hope everything turns out OK!

Answer 9

I do agree with everyone that the hard shoulder isnt the best place to stop but I have to admit if your child needs feeding and if theres no other places to go then I suppose you only did what was best. Ive had days where my daughter just cried for ages when I was driving and I also cried. Its just something that you do.

The police shouldnt of fined you, they should of just gave you a warning and told you not to do it again. They should of understood that your baby needs feeding and it would be distressing for you if your baby cried while driving.

I hope you a feeling ok. Try not to let it bother you. I got pulled over by the police for driving too carefully. I mean first they want us to not break the speed limit and then they pull me over for doing just that. Its a crazy world we live in.

Well all I can say is please dont park on the hard shoulder again, for your babys sake and yours. I would hate for anything to happen, especially when there alot of crap drivers on the road.

Take care

Answer 10

Three years ago my friend was driving on the motorway and her 4 month old son was screaming for food earlier than his normal feed time, he actually screamed so much that he stopped himself breathing and went white. She panicked(as would anyone) and stopped on the hard shoulder. He started breathing again quickly but she took him to the hospital any way. when she got there, the dr saw him and then half hour later social services turned up because they wanted to know why her baby had been laft to cry so much that he stopped breathing. Ignore anyone who has a go at you chick because i believe what you did was the only thing you could do. You probably were safer to stop anyway, because i know how distracting it can be when a baby screams! Good on you, keep up the good work!

Answer 11

Good God that is a great example of why women bottle feed. I am a driving instructor so I understand all the rules of the road are there to protect us,but first second and last I am a breast feeding mum. I used to feed my son in the back of the car while my husband was driving by laening across while he was in his car seat! I cant do that with my daughter as there is no room in the back now ther's 2 seats in but I would do it again in a second if I had to. Nobody understands how you feel when your baby is crying and the only thing that will calm them down is the breast. I think you were treated disgustingly and it makes my blood boil. In fact I feel like crying as I know the despair you feel. I feel sometimes guilty for breast feeding in public and its wrong! I wish you well with your baby. She sounds very loved! take care...Vicky x