Relationship with an older guy?

Question

This is for help with my friend who is 17... She is seeing a guy who is 49 and is having a sexual relationship with him. Although it is legal, I still feel it is not right. Does anyone think I should talk to her about this? If I did what would I say?

Answer 1

Yeah, this is kind of a creepy age difference. This is a fine example of how an older person is not always the wiser. I mean, I know anyone can develop feelings for someone younger, but there are limits to this issue.

I think if I was the older of this relationship, I would know that the younger partner is looking for more of a mother/father figure, which might not always turn out to be a good thing, since as the older person in the relationship is basically replacing the love and nurturing a parent should have given. I know that I as the adult, would not be liking this role very much, since I would feel at odds...... is this person my lover or my child?

As the younger person, being naive, you don't really relize that you're being taken advantage of. Not having enough experience in relationships maybe make anyone wonder, what does the younger partner have to contribute to the relationship?

Think about it, the younger partner may or may not have a job, so financially may not be able to contribute what the older person can, such as who pays for what. Also, life experiences are a factor. Think about what does a 17 year old have in common with a 49 year old???? College? heartaches? trips? financial or educational knowledge to share? if you think of all this, there are only two options, emotional connection which sums it up in the sack. Also, what kind of a 49 year old wants to take on a relationship such as this one? Probably someone very immature. I always think ( and I am usually right) a man who is still single in his early fourtys, there is usually something wrong with him, trust me, I always come out right. Even if a man waited long enough to find a partner, there is a reason why they're still single, if not too immature, too picky, but there's always something. There's a reaosn why the good ones are always taken.

I would ask your friend what she possibly has to contribute to the relationship besides sex. Life experience? finances? education? because if she has none of this to contribute, it is not a 50/50 relationship. If it's not a 50/50 relationship, trust me, he will not love her for her mind forever, and eventually get bored, feel taken advantage of, or feel like a parent. If it's the sex, good for her, ans long as she doesnt end up knocked up, tell her to have a good time, and hope that she gets it out of hr system. Eventually we cannot make out friends do or say anything, we just sorta have to be there for them, hope and wait they ride it out soon enough.

Answer 2

I think you should talk to her but first you need to realize that she probably won't listen to you and may cut off your friendship. She thinks she is doing right and that nobody will understand how her relationship is "different" than other girls her age with guys his age. Lots of times when this situation happens the girl doesn't have a father figure at home and longs for attention from an older man to satisfy her need for a father. Her inability to realize that she is going to be hurt will cause her alot of pain in the future. All you can do is warn her and stay close to her because soon it will all come crashing down and she will need someone to talk to. Good Luck

Answer 3

well technically you have no say wheather its right or not. if they love eachother there is nothing you can do about it. love works in its own way. If she is your friend and you care about her, and dont think it is right for her to be with a 49 yr old, then you should talk to her and let her know how you feel and maybe she will take your feelings into consideration. and if you do deside to talk to her just tell her that it may be legal but you dont think its right for someone her age to be with someone that old, because hes old enough to be her father, and she could find someone who is her age that she could do the same things with that she does with this 49 yr old.

Answer 4

Don't start talking directly , first calm her , listen her story , encourage her to speak freely and openly about her experience with an old man .
Ofcourse it is wrong and one must step in to stop , but it needs lots of patience and time consuming councelling to convince a very young mind to get change her life style or beware from sex addiction . Bad for the young mind and body itself in long run .

Answer 5

Stop being such a kill joy and let them be, the chances are she'll learn quite a bit from this 49 year old

Answer 6

tell her this guy dont mean her any good-older men love to give younger ladies money-then when they are not feelin that older person because he comes very demanding and jealous cause she mite want to spend time with her friends and he mite think she mite be lookin for other men -this is when kiddnaping and mudering came in-tell her to be careful

Answer 7

if he is older-why did he turn his interest to sexual with her?
he wud hav been more responsible, if he were wise.
it wont be easy to say anything to her, remain her friend, tell her u are concerned, and to never do anything stupid.if she needs u u're there, no matter what!

Answer 8

At this point she may not listen to you. But, it is definitely not right. They have nothing in common. And he is probably a pedophile.

Answer 9

yes!!!!!!!!!!!1
talk to your friend because he is wayyyyy tooooo old for her shes still just a child....
yes i know that age is nothing but a number but hes old enough to be her dad or maybe even her grandfather!!!!!!

Answer 10

Who the hell said it was legal??