How to a maintain a long term secret lover from my wife?

Question

I love my wife and my secret lover and want them both by my side.

My wife dont know that I have a secret lover but my secret lover know that I have a wife and I intend to keep it this way.

Will I ever make it through??? Both women are as important to me.

Answer 1

well, be most discreet! and u might get it through but bear it mind that the truth can never be hidden forever.

Answer 2

What was supposed to happen when you married your wife was that you made the shift from Mom and Dad being most important to your wife being the most important, and that you made a permanent commitment to have only her as long as you are both still alive.

Sounds like what's happening right now is something a little different... And there is a reason it's supposed to be the way I describe. Otherwise you get third parties intruding on your relationship if you stay together, and if you don't, if you go off with someone else, then you leave a bit of yourself with your wife and vice versa.

And this, without your wife's knowing about it. It smacks of secretly stealing from your wife and running off with her goods. Not to mention that as things stand now, your secret lover will always be left wondering whether you don't have someone else that even she doesn't know about...

I know this is not pleasant reading, but it really will be better for all concerned if you make the appropriate changes to have only your wife and no one else, like you promised before.

Of course, breaking the bond with the other woman is one of those things that are humanly impossible, but possible for God. All you have to do is trust in what He has already done for you, and put the matter behind you, putting your hope in Him for the strength to do the right thing now and always.

May He bless you

Answer 3

Tom...sooner or later you are going to slip up and get caught.

At some point your lover may get mad at you, or grow tired of "playing second fiddle" all of the time, and decide to call your wife and tell her what has been going on...or your wife will figure it out when you do something stupid to slip up...
or else you will be seen somewhere with your lover, by a mutual friend who will then tell your wife.

Believe me...you are going to get caught, and if that happens you may lose them both. An affair is just not as exciting once it is out in the open and everyone knows about it. You lover may wind up losing interest if that happens, because half the fun of cheating is the fact that it is illicit. Your wife will leave you because she doesn't trust you anymore, and because you have hurt and embarassed her.

You seem to want to have your cake and eat it too.

Do yourself a favor, make a choice and then stick to it...better to have one dessert than none at all.

Answer 4

You cannot love your wife as you claim to and probably believe that you really do. Having an affair let alone a long-term one is the biggest betrayal you could commit against your marriage. You should tell your wife. You don't deserve her loyalty. You can have the secret lover. Two peas in a pod!

Sorry, that's the truth and I'm sticking to it.

Answer 5

I'd not think it will hold. One way or another, your wife will one day learn. I suggest you try to tell your wife and get her consent (possible, with the right approach, with most women), rather than try to conceal it. Unless, of course, your secret lover lives miles and miles away from your wife, her relatives, any friends of hers, and any mutual friends you have as a couple. And I mean, a range of at least two hundred miles from any of these categories of people.

And don't forget where their children (including yours) may go.

Answer 6

You will not be able make it through all the time. Some day wife will come to know definitely and then you are screwed.

Just think if your wife has a bf and want to keep it that way. How you will feel?

Do not row in two boats.

Answer 7

Unfortunately, you think you can have your cake and eat it too!! You'll slip at some point and your wife will find out. Hope your lover doesn't go psycho on you and become a fatal attraction. Also, I hope there are no children involved because it might get ugly for you.

Answer 8

Just out of interest..how would you feel about your wife having a secret lover, & wanting you both?
If you're ok with that scenario, then good for you chief! I wish you luck!
If not, then your life is sure to turn to custard! And richly deserved too!

Answer 9

If you don't love your husband enough to stay faithful. Leave him and give him custody of your children and then you can live you life as you want. Or dump your lover and work on your relationship with your husband. You can't have both. If you continue both your entire life will blow up in your face.

Answer 10

hi firstly i appreciate that you still love your wife. keep on loving her but you cant keep on cheating her.
Please you have to decide to live with one woman only and thats your wife. Think about it friend, put yourself in your wifes' shoe and you will understand i guess.
What you doing is very wrong, trust me, telling you this from personal experience. The otcome is devasting and not worth it at all.
This is one of few mistakes in life that you dont want to learn from committing it.Trust me pal.......... Guilt will always haunt you down.......Very very disturbing life

Think about it, why get into unnecessary problems, why dig your own grave pls be smart.Sometimes the temptation is too powerful but one can overcome it through will.
Your wife and family is most precious and important thing in your life. Your family interest must be the first to look into..............Scarifice thats the true meaning of life.....For sake of family.......Pls do not make the same mistake plssssssssssssss
Best of luck and always pray for the best..........take care...............

Answer 11

You are an asshole. Read it and remember it. You have no right to cheat on your wife. She depends on you and obviously loves you or she would not have married you in the first place. To betray her this way is insulting for all men and the sad thing is so many people do this. She'll get suspicious sooner or later and dump you. Good ridances.