What is the best way to break it off with my girlfriend? Without hurting her?

Question

I've know this girl for over five years. The biggest problem is we are so far away. I'm still in college and i dont want to stop studyin at this point i think she feels the same way...but its so hard to keep in touch maybe it was better we separated but im not to sure if thats the answer. im jus so confused

Answer 1

Be straightforward with her. Tell her, "I'm not sure how to say this, because I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I'm not interested in a relationship with you anymore."
You might add, "I'm afraid if I didn't tell you this, I would be letting you think there was a possibility of us to be forever, and that wouldn't be fair."

It's important that you don't try to soften the blow by saying things like, "You have nice eyes, a nice body, you're very attractive," because it'll only confuse the other person and make them wonder why you're actually breaking up. Just get to the point.

**** How to Break Up Peacefully ****

If you're ready to end a relationship, consider how you can break up without conflict.

Steps:
1. Acknowledge that the relationship is really over. Come to terms with your own feelings and make a firm decision to end the relationship.

2. Don't delay the inevitable. Once you decide to break up with your partner, immediately think about how, when and where you will take action.

3. Make sure you're the one who personally delivers the news. Don't give a third party the opportunity to tell your partner that you want to break up before you have the chance to discuss the matter alone.

4. Select a private place to meet with your partner to end the relationship.

5. Find or schedule an appropriate time. Approach the topic when both of you are calm and rational. Don't announce your intention to break up during a heated argument or a moment of anger.

6. Show your resolve by being firm, decisive and honest. Help your partner understand why you want to end the relationship. Be tactful, not brutal.

7. Remind your partner that you'll never forget the positive qualities in your relationship, but emphasize that you're ready to move on with your life.

8. Give your partner the closure that he or she needs to accept the breakup; answer questions and talk it over instead of leaving loose ends.

9. Stay positive as you both make plans to go your separate ways.

Tips:
Let go of old grievances during a breakup. The end of a relationship isn't the appropriate time to bring up old grudges.


Warnings:
If your partner does not agree to the breakup, don't allow him or her to manipulate you into staying in the relationship.

Answer 2

The way you describe your relationship, it sounds like you've already broken off. It is unlikely that she will be that badly hurt, so you can be quite "pragmatic" and explain that you need to have a relationship with somebody you can see every week. She may also be looking for an exit, so don't be surprised if her reaction is much milder than you are expecting.

Answer 3

be honest with her and do it as soon as possible if you want out of the relationship. if you live together, move your stuff out before she gets home and be there to talk to her so she is not shocked, and also to get strait any financial issues. if you are not that involved, you can just go for a drive or meet somewhere and tell her that you don't think that it is working out for you and if at all possible provide her with an honest reason why...especially if there is somebody else, it will hurt her, but she will respect you more for respecting her enough to be honest.

Answer 4

OK, HERE GOES MY ADVICE,

YOU NEED TO GIVE HER A BAD PILL. SUGAR COAT IT.

1. SUGAR COATING-- TELL HER THAT YOU WANNA MARRY HER. AND YOU LOVE HER AND ALL. ONE DAY YOU WILL SURELY MARRY HER, AND GIVE HER CHILDREN.

2. BITTER PILL-- BUT YOU ARE STUDYING RIGHT NOW. AND YOU DON'T HAVE A STEADY COURSE OF INCOME. SO YOU ARE UNSURE ABOUT YOUR FUTURE. TELL HER THAT YOU DID SOME BRAINSTORMING IN LAST FEW DAYS. YOU HAVE REALIZED YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES, AND YOU'VE FIGURED OUT A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE.
THE PLAN CAN BE AN EXNTENDED PLAN WHERE MARRIAGE APPEARS WHEN YOU ARE 35-37 YEARS OLD. AND KIDS WHEN YOU'RE 40 YEARS. HEARING THIS, YOUR GIRLFRIEND WILL HAVE CREEPS ABOUT YOU, AND SHE WILL RELUCTANTLY LEAVE YOU.

HERE'S WHY THIS WOULD HAPPEN. EVERY GIRL WANTS TO MARRY. SO YOU GAVE A SWEET SUGAR COATING. SHE WANTS TO HAVE KIDS. SOME MORE SWEETNESS. BUT GIRLS WANNA MARRY YOUNG. PREFERABLY AROUND 26 YEARS OF AGE. AND THEY HATE TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS BEYOND 32, BECAUSE IT INCLUDES LOTS OF MEDICAL COMPLICATIONS.

NOW IF YOU'RE A SINCERE PERSON, AND YOU WANNA SETTLE DOWN IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE MARRYING, SHE WILL HAVE TO WAIT. AFTER ALL, YOU ARE SINCERELY INTERESTED IN GIVING YOUR SPOUSE A NICE SECURED LIFE AND YOUR KIDS A SECURED FUTURE.

SO YOU WILL NOT BE CALLED A WRETCHED, IN FACT YOU WILL BE CALLED A SINCERE MAN, WELL PLANNED MAN. AND YOU'LL GET RID OF HER.

BUT BUT BUT....BELIEVE ME MAN, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS BEAUTIFUL AS A WOMAN'S LOVE FOR YOU. WHEN YOU GROW UP, YOU MIGHT NOT FIND ANOTHER GIRL WHO LOVE YOU SO MUCH. YOU MIGHT FIND WOMEN, YOU MIGHT FIND LOVING WOMEN. BUT YOU WON'T FIND GIRLS FOR YOURSELF, AND YOU WON'T FIND LOVING GIRLS. SO I WOULD SUGGEST YOU TO TAKE YOUR TIME BEFOR DOING THIS.
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S IN FUTURE FOR YOU. YOU MIGHT START LOVING THIS GIRL AGAIN, AND GET SECURITY IN LIFE. BUT THEN, SHE WON'T RETURN. THINK AGAIN BUDDY. LOVE AFFAIRS SHOULD BE DEALT WITH UTMOST LOVE.

Answer 5

You can't do this without hurting her. Just try to soften the blow and be honest with her. Don't feel guilty, if the relationship is not right, it is better to end it now.

Answer 6

Just turn into such a giant bastard that she will want to break it off with you. This has been known to backfire however, some girls don't seem to care how big a bastard you are, you just can't get rid of them.

Answer 7

Is it possible to find and introduce her to a nice guy who likes her?
Then little by little slip into the the background?

Answer 8

tell her you're not ready for a relationship and you just want her to be happy, say you are afraid that she will get hurt if she stays with you.

Answer 9

all of the above, except the gay one.

DON'T run off with her best friend, or anyone she knows, really. Especially her sister!

Answer 10

i think it is better to rethink the whole thing if u know how pain full it is u would never leave her