Just to clarify. He and I have really grown close, we are wanting to go to a church together, and he has been reading a book on Christian families etc. That's why it threw me when I saw the porn going. He said that he just got horny and I wasn't there. He has never cheated on any of his ex's, but when I explained thathe was cheating with his eyes and mind, and explainedthat his heart wasn't where it needed to be...he laughed at me and told me I was being ridicuoous. He said there is nothing wrong with looking and that I'm not blind. I tried to explain that I honestly have no desire for another man and that I just really have no interest in anyone else and he said I'm lying. I told him he obviously isn'y emotionally devoted to me if he can't understand how I don't need or have a desire to look at another man. He said it's normal and that ALL men look, and such about another woman. to me, i want a man to desire me and only me. I want my man to have no desire to watch porno etc.input?
2006-07-16 19:20:45 · 15 answers · asked by mphsdgamodel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
in truly, i think it is kinda natural to look, because its curiousity, but also, i learned when i was with my ex, i had like no 'desire' to look at such things, i do once in a long while, cause c'mon, raging hormones are in everyone, but once your partner is fulfilling those needs, i see no point in looking at such stuff.
2006-07-16 19:30:21 · answer #1 · answered by adam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men always have an alter ego.Even after a full meal with desert
and icecream, if offered a pizza they'd jump for it. Thats how they
are. They are never satisfied. Its in their genes.
But correctional measures can be done. Simply & gently tell him how much you love him, that you are only for him, physically and
visually,at any time you'll be a this side.In his good times or bad,
and very emotionally attached with him.
Gently nudge him, saying that watching pornography will only hurt him in the long run, as watching makes one and addict, and the addict's urge for newer things will never cease.The net gets flooded with millions of new sites, so there is no end.You may refer to the site
http://www.wendi.com
Addiction to porn is explained there, steps to eliminate the habit.
Make a few printouts, keep them scattered around so he can see. Will surely affect him one day or another.
About mentally sizing up other women cannot be avoided.Allmen do it.Maybe he's thinking how the others dont have a beautiful figure and form like you.
Takes things gently if you want to hold on to him. Slowly and surely correct him, so he stays faithfully to you.
Wish you all the best.
2006-07-17 02:34:56 · answer #2 · answered by bharat b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being unrealistic, in a sense. I don't advocate porn per se, but if he wants to watch it, you either have to accept it or move on, because if he gives it up due to an ultimatum, he will resent it, or he may decide to just do it when you are not around.
I can't tell you how to feel about the porn; you don't approve of it, but he seems to...let me put it this way, what is it about you that he accepts? I did not read the first question, but it seems he started reading the Christian book because you asked him to, or because he feels it is important to you.
For a relationship to work, there must be some compromise, but also, there are certain core values which must be mutual to both people, and morality is one of them, but...how much do you love this man? Is he loyal, hard-working, sober, kind? Do you enjoy being around him? Assuming the answer to all are yes, you must decide if you can live with him liking porn or not, because I can assure you that teh relationship will not thrive if he gives it up out of fear of losing you...eventually he will resent it. Good luck, I hope you work things out.
2006-07-17 02:28:47 · answer #3 · answered by taishar68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When and if you two get married worry then, but not about some fleeting hormonal fodder, big deal he released so pent up stress. If you two are living the true Christan life style then you both are refraining from having sex. Men do look at other women constantly yet they do not act upon what the see, you may have no desire to look at other men, give it time you will no mater how fleeting the feelings are , just because you are human. So allow you man to be human as well, it does not mater where he develops his appetite , as long as he dines at home.
2006-07-17 02:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by TWINKLES 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The porn is wrong..especially when he is reading books on being a Christian..
This is what I say about looking at other woman..as long as my husband comes home to me at night , then I see nothing wrong with him looking...I trust him and you need to do the same
2006-07-17 02:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truth is bitter ...You are very honest with the relationship while he is not...His justification simply lacks credibility..His assertion that all men are like that is absolutely not true..I am also a Man and I dont indulge in such things..Take that hard decision and say Good bye to him..
2006-07-17 02:30:00 · answer #6 · answered by salapan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are dead wrong if thinking about somthing is the same as acting on something then everybody should just act on their adultery. Thinking lustful thoughts is not wrong no matter what your religion says. It is only wrong once you act on it.Let me give you another example.If you hate your boss and fantasize about killing him isthat the same as taking a gun and shooting him. If you follow your string off logic regarding porn and lustful sexual thought then the answer in my second example should be yes, but obviously thinking of killing and killing are way different. Just as adulturey is way different from tittilation which is what your husband does when he watches porn. and to my knowledge there still is no comandment thou shall not titillate.
2006-07-17 02:29:22 · answer #7 · answered by stratisnj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not spoil your relation with a open minded person , who really loves you and tkes care of you , do not be too possesive , you will not only loose him you will be creating problem for the future , just relax and discuss some more normal topics with your love .
2006-07-17 02:28:40 · answer #8 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is getting into really being a christian than this is a serious big deal. jesus said that if your eye causes you to sin (e.g. him watching porn) then gouge it out for it is better to go sightless in this world than spend eternity in hell with two seeing eyes. (not exact quote but something to that effect) the point is he needs to cut that **** out before you guys get married. it's gross!
2006-07-17 02:25:06 · answer #9 · answered by Kryztal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rent behind the green door for him.It is about a migit and a fat, fat, fat lady. He will never want to watch another porn again :).
2006-07-17 02:24:45 · answer #10 · answered by Jima 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋