My husband and I have been together for 5 years and married for 1.5 years. We plan to get pregnant next year and our baby will be born when we are 25 and 27 if everything goes right.
We will have our house mortgage paid off next year, and we will have $0 debt. I have a college education and we both have been at our jobs for a couple of years and make a good living.
My mother doesn't want me to have children because she thinks I will have no patience for my children and she thinks I should wait until I am 30 before I get pregnant.
My husband and I rented some movies on pregnancy and babies, and my mother saw the receipt in my car. She frowned and had this unhappy look on her face.
We are happy together and want to start a family, we have had our dog since he was a puppy and he is 2.5 years old and I have tons of patience with him and he is hyper and a pain in the butt!
How do I deal with my mother, she thinks she is entitled to say what she wants about my future kids!
2006-07-16 18:56:57 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Who cares what she thinks? She won't be there to stop you when you're doing the act, will she? And what's she gonna do when you do get pregnant? If you're 24 now, this is your life. Tell her that you appreciate the advice, but it's your decision so butt out.
2006-07-16 19:00:33 · answer #1 · answered by Tim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where does your mom fit into all of this i understand she is your mother and her opinions are valued but your married you need to worry about you and your husband not your mom and in my opinion your well ready for children you have achieved alot in your life. I always knew i wanted child and put off alot of things in my life because i wanted children that bad i had my first when i was 18 and my second when i was 21 so your doing really good another thing is i wanted my children to relate to me, like be into the same things patience come natural although the older you are the better they are..But i would do what makes you and your husband happy and not let your mother get to you..Good Luck
2006-07-17 02:37:28 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be the burden of bad news,but a puppy is NOTHING like a baby.A baby needs 100% of your attention,24 hours a day,365 days a year.Whether your sick or tired.Or broke or arguing w/your spouse.Just be sure your ready.Babies are ALOT of work,but worth every bit of it.I'm sure your mom just wants what's best for you.Maybe she went through tough times raising kids????I think that you have definetly thought things through,being as already married(GREAT),both have good jobs,on a path,etc.Planning instead of just doing!Either way,your mom will be in your lives forever,and yes,she has a right to be a mom and butt in and say what she wants....but to a point.This is your life,but you want her in it,right?Talk to her.Explain to her,what you explained to us.Tell her your plans and that you really are just trying to plan things out and decide.If your mom thinks you have no patience,then,guess what???You have NO patience.I was 16 when I got pregnant w/my 1st child.Not married,in school,no job.My mom told me I had no patience to raise a child,but she was behind me 100% of the way.I then named my 1st child,Patience.For real,that's her real name.Since mom said I had no Patience,now I did.LOL>>Then ,I went on to marry the father and have another child,when I was 21.We divorced and now I am happily married to a man who takes care of my two girls and our the two more we had together.I was in a bad car accident in 2004 and she was there.Now,I told my mom IF I could have another child,that I might.Others think it's crazy,though I have NOT made a decision.My body is tired and I have alot of pain and don't think I'm ready,if ever.But I will make that decision.But my mom said,"I will be behind you 100% either way,you still have no patience,but you are a great mom to your kids"..I couldn't have done any of this without her and my dad(my dad passed in 2003).Thank God for Mom's!!!!!!!!!Good luck in the decision you make.
2006-07-17 02:52:03 · answer #3 · answered by missyandgordon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once your mom becomes a grandmother she will be so thrilled the second she holds the baby for the first time.....focus on that.
Drop the subject with her for now.....you and your husband should start your family. Take your mom to dinner as a family and suprise her when you know for sure you are pregnant....
People often think far less of me and I know how that feels to hear someone say "Oh you have no skills and you can't do anything".....Don't listen take parent classes to assure yourself you and your husband will be wonderful parents....
2006-07-17 02:27:46 · answer #4 · answered by OR 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you an your husband are ready to start a family than go for it.
You are a married adult and it is not her decision.It sounds like she thinks she still has a right to have a say in your life.How does your husband feel about this?
I say if you are both ready start your family and enjoy your kids.If she chooses to not be a part of their lives and yours because of your decision then she is the one who loses not you.
2006-07-17 03:15:27 · answer #5 · answered by cmeand3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mom feels like she is losing control over you as you gro older. She probably wants you to enjoy your life before you get tied down for the next 18 years... Talk to her about whats bugging her so much. No matter how much you dislike it sometimes, she will always be your mother and always in your life. best to talk it out now and get it over with before you're pregnant and you pass the negativity to the baby.
2006-07-17 02:10:30 · answer #6 · answered by chem_princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no ofense but the last time i checked your mother has no say in wether or not you have a child.. and besides once that baby is here.. she will be so excited to have a grandchild that she will completely forget about this stupid idea... and besides age has no effect on patience... if you are to learn patience who better to tech you than your children and besides you haveing a child will teach your mom to have patience with you about living your own life
2006-07-17 02:03:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the decision to have baby should be of Parents and nobody else,But as your mama is very caring and concern about you.You let her belief that your decision is quite Right. Tell her and have her view also so that she should not be feel left alone. Many problems in relation get sorted out due to talking .
2006-07-17 02:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by ajai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess you whould talk to your mother..."politely" ... as to not to interfere in your family matters.....
she is a part of family.... but she has no rights to restrict you from doing what you like with your married life....
mitr says... there is always a boundry designed in everyone's life for the persons they have around them.... people should not trespass those boundries... life is like that...
having baby has to do only with you and your hubby... and no mom or other relative have the right to say anything in this regard... you whould understand the importance of people and their limitations in your life...
till you were young and haven't married, your mom's verdict was everything in your life and that is correct... it should be like that... but after marriage, your hubby is everything for you... your mom ius not going to live with you forever.... if your hubby leaves you on this ground the next day.... what will you do????
if your mom still thinks that you are a kid and you can't handle a kid, she is wrong... you should not let anyone rule your life and make decisions in your married life, other than your husband....
trust me lady... you have to maintain distinctions... or else you will lose a hubby in order to make you mom happy....
2006-07-17 02:02:27 · answer #9 · answered by mitr_hamesha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well honey lets be frank...is she there when you have loving...is she there forcing you to take birth control pills..no......having a child is a big huge responsibility...oh yeah..changing poopy diaper when it leaks through clothes or when they poop in the bathtub while you give them a bath..endless trips to the er for countless reason if you are willing to take on that and more..your willing to LOVE and CARE for a child protect the child do anything for a child... then its your decision and your alone...just really realize what your getting into..it is a lot of HARD WORK...endless!!! tell your mom that she is going to be a grandma and your want and need her support that she needs to be involved with the child...I hope things work out for you...What mom would not like to see there daughter having a child... having a granddaughter or grandson....take care
2006-07-17 02:28:25 · answer #10 · answered by sublime badfish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋