OK, short and to the point. I had been with my BF for over a year. He had issues of jealousy, insecurities and trust. I NEVER gave him ANY reason not to trust me. One night about 3 weeks ago, we got into the biggest fight ever, and things got physical. He says he doesn't even remember everything that happened. He swears it will never happen again and he is now going for counceling. (we are not living together at this point) I still have feelings for him, and he says he loves me......now- what should I do?? stay away from him or give him another chance......
Someone help me.......
2006-07-16 17:25:37 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He may love you but in one swith hit he could kill you.
Abuse of this kind isn't an isolated thing. He will promise you the moon becasue he loves you- but he is capable of taking your life or someone close to you. It is amazing how a bright woman can let herself get in to a relationship with a man who is capable of harming her. No matter how much the two of you love each other there will be abuse. I have seen women stuck and scared to make a move because they fear being killed. NO one should have to live like that. If you value your self you should move on.
You would have to see a huge amount of change in him for you to go back to him. The amazing thing is that these guys are usually especially adorable and loving. Don't let that fool you, underneath is a storm ready to explode.
Take good care of yourself and move on. Look for sites on the internet for battered woman. Make some phone calls. Talk to people who can help you.
2006-07-16 17:36:25 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him another chance because neither one of you handled the situation correctly. You all need to sit down and try to figure out where is this jealousy coming from. Why is he insecure? Is his lack of self esteem his fault. Also talk about a system to talk about your issues, even if they are emotional. Have a time-out period if either one of you feels like hitting the other one. Back up, go away, for some time. Once this system of communication is understood by both parties, you all should be able to talk about anything, without it coming to Blows. Now, once Home Boy knows, you are giving him a Second chance on that Physical stuff, if he pushes you, hits, you, or any more "Rough" stuff, pick up a Brick, a Stiletto heel, and hit him hard up side the head, and back him up off you. Now, don't kill him and tell the Police "Sweetness" told you so!!! Men try you, they push a little bit first, just to see how much they can get away with, to see how they can manipulate you. You have to develope a "Maderas" attitude when it comes to that stuff!!!
2006-07-16 17:39:21 · answer #2 · answered by sweetness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs serious help. The best way you can help him and offer him support is to let him get the help he needs all on his own. If you continue to have a relationship with him, you WILL continue to have these issues. His issues are his, and they're all about him... he's not jealous because of you - that comes from somewhere else. His insecurity is about how he feels about himself, and actually has nothing to do with you. You need to explore your own needs and personal stuff... look up "co-dependency" and see if that fits your life. You're experimenting here with an abusive relationship. Hitting is never acceptable.
You may need to seek some counseling also - it could help for you to get some more information and gain some clarity about your life. Always love yourself first! Take care.
2006-07-16 17:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by Kerry K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO. You've only "invested" one year with the guy, so it's not like you're going to be losing a lot of time. If he says he doesn't remember what happened but tells you it won't happen again, that sounds like he knows what happened but is playing dumb about it. If you choose to stay with him, spare your friends, family and all of us here the results of your decision later. I am tired of hearing people crying about these types of things when the answer was always in front of them. Maybe you shouldn't listen to what people on this site tell you, but you should listen to your immediate friends and family and most of all listen to your gut feeling. You honestly should leave, you'll be better off.
2006-07-16 17:37:29 · answer #4 · answered by morningstar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough question to answer. I think it says something for his character that he is seeking help for his problems. Do you truely believe that he will never hit you again? I say take things slow and see if he can lose the jealousy first and then take it from there.
2006-07-16 17:28:55 · answer #5 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him anothe chance, sometimes men have a terrible day and get pushed so ar, then when they come home to be screamed at or whatever, they just cant handle it. Give him ONE more chance.
2006-07-16 17:28:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly i belive that a guy would never hit a women if he love her alot...in my opionion i would leave because i relationship like that is not worth getting hurt...
2006-07-16 17:29:47 · answer #7 · answered by jen. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hun if u wanna be safe stay the hell away from him, now if you like getting hit go back into it right niow head first!
if u do love him, seriously give it time, he needs to go to counseling! he might regret it now and start counseling now but hun, you need to see if he will stick with it!
counseling alone won't help he needs anger management classes! and you need to press charges! and stick to them.
2006-07-16 17:32:56 · answer #8 · answered by half insane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not move back in together!!!!!! give him another chance and if he f*cks up one time,even for the littlest thing boot him or he wont take you seriously! i been threw that!
2006-07-16 17:32:51 · answer #9 · answered by sha g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GIRL YOU BETTER GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!THis is not a healthy relationship trust me I have been there
2006-07-16 17:30:52 · answer #10 · answered by Leslie Loves Tommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋