What would you say?

Question

My wife left me and our 3 kids 6 months ago for a friend of mine... Then last week he got sick and may even kick the bucket... And out of the blue today she called me and ask me if she was to show up at my door would i take her back..... But my dumb *** was so stuned i didnt say a word.. For the first time in my life i had a loss of words... I just told her i had to go.. Now after thinking about it i have alot of things to say to her and i dont think she will like them but thats life... But for now i would like to see what other people would say..

Answer 1

I would say she doesn't deserve her kids or a decent man as you appear to be,so for your sake and the kids hang tough there are worse things than being single like being betrayed again, sure make her go to counseling with the kids so she can deal with the mess she has made but save yourself for a real woman she is out there waiting in her part of this world so hang on you two will meet when the time is right. Right now just concentrate on getting yourself and your children the help you need to get through these rough days until you finally see the light at the end of this darkness. Take care honey i feel for you.

Answer 2

On an answer to a different question someone said write a letter to that person but don't send/give it to them. After 3 days re-read it and make adjustments then tell her. There is a reason this is the one and only time you had nothing to say.
I agree with the counseling too it may be a healthier environment for you to tell her what you have to say and does not mean you will take her back. As for the advice to take her back for the kids' sake, she left them too and if she did it again (the only guarantees in life is death and taxes) it would only hurt them further. No matter what, the kids should not hear what you have to say to her - they should come first and should never have to hear their parents bad mouthed especially by the other parent.

Answer 3

There is always two sides to any story. I can't take sides not knowing what all happened to make her start looking for someone else, but as much as I want to say "Hell No, don't take her back," she is the mother of your children. I think if you still love her you will need to talk to a professional. Find out what happend in your relationship to make her search for something else. I know that this may not be the best time to say it was her fault or your fault, I am sure the fault lies somewhere in the middle. I know from experience that a divorce is never easy on the parents but especially the children. Please seek some professional third party who can help you both listen and understand what happend in your relationship to take it to where it is today.

Answer 4

I agree with an earlier person, that she's back on your doorstep for "insurance" so she has somewhere to be. However, you do have children together. IF she's willing to commit 100% to counseling to see why she did that, perhaps you can find some common ground. Has she always felt wishy--washy about the marriage? Have you done your best as well over the years to make it happy?

Trust is really hard to regain and if she isn't up to the task of giving her all, the prospects don't look good. It's really sad for you to be sure, but for the kids really confusing! They wonder if mommy will be in their lives. You might want to consult an expert in family counseling for their sakes. Good luck.

Answer 5

Wow, That is such as sad story. First of all, try to forgive your friend for his betrayal, as you said he may kick the bucket. Tell your friend to ask for GOD's forgiveness. Take a long look over your life and things that lead to you and your wife breaking up. There is always more than one side to every story. Do you still have feelings for your wife? Have you started to move on with your life? Only you can decide what is best for you. Personally, I would have a hard time taking someone back who left me for someone else. GOD BLESS YOU.

Answer 6

I sure wouldn't take her back without some serious counceling. You seem like a nice guy, and she is looking for a place to land before she takes off with the next one. Like that idea??? In your place, I'd be very cautious with my heart..... she dumped on you once, she will again. And hey, there are just lots of nice women out there who would love to meet a nice guy. If you are no longer in a caring mood for her, find someone else. Try Yahoo personals, or Match.com. I did, and found the sweetie....

Answer 7

You love her coz you marry her and be your wife? Right? You know God is so forgiving why can't we? Give her ONE LAST CHANCE and low down your pride to have a second chance of happy family but let her know too that you're scared she might do it again and ask her if she can make a promise to patch all the scar in your marriage? Try to talk all the good and bad things you had in your marriage life in a civilize manner, a heart to heart with full of respect and forgiveness. Then after talking explain to your children in a nice way that may not affect their trust and respect to themselves and to both of you and try to have a romantic or fun dates together w/your children and sometimes to both of you only coz you might be lacking time for each other that's why she longed for somebody. Try not to focus 100% on your children only coz you need husband and wife bonding too. God bless you and your family.

Answer 8

wow! Man that really sucks,sorry. I think that if you had been together for awhile and she had never done anything anywhere near as stupid before and you truly love her I think maybe you should at least consider letting her back in your life, with some strict exceptions. If you do not love her like a husband and wife should love each other and your relationship before had been bad do not let her back in your life. She at least should have a relationship with your kids, but if she is not meeting your needs then move on.

Answer 9

we can all tell you what to do but in the end it is up to you it is your heart and the heart of those kids that are involved i cant believe she just walked out like that and now wants to come back now that he is sick and everyone is right if she left like that once how can you be sure she wont do it again you cant so for the rest of your life you would be waitting and watching for her to do so do you really want to live like that i am sure there is someone out there who would love you and your kids for who you are good luck with you decision best of luck to you all

Answer 10

She is foul for even leaving you and the kids for your friend. Don't talke her trifling azz back. She did it once she will do it again. You move on with your life with you and your kids and forget her. She didnt care when she was doing her dirt, why should you care now? Good Luck!