Lesbians vs Gay - are lesbians not given as much respect as gay men?

Question

I ask this PURELY because I was watching Oprah the other day and the show was on Married couples who's partner came out and said they were gay.. Now there were 4 married couples where the husband had come out and said he was gay and with all the men Oprah was asking questions, being very considerate, asked them how they knew and that it must have been so hard for them to come out, and to live a lie! Now the last couple the wife has said she was a lesbian! Oprah went straight onto the attack continually asking "are you sure its not a phase" and saying well I dont know how you can be having sex with your husband if you are a lesbian.. Keep in mind the (gay) men were having sex with there wives! This really upset me, and it did the woman too! I believe the reason society always thinks its just a "phase" with women is because of all the young girls that go around making out with there friends just to get a guy off.. what do you think?

Answer 1

For the longest time lesbians felt unseen in the world because it was always gay this or gay that whenever talking about gay or lesbian people. So they started to speak out about it and now have more of a standing on their own. It's not just the gay community anymore, it's the GLBTQ community. Even though bi people are now dealing with the same issue in a way. You have to remember that white men have ruled for a long time here and just a few years ago did women get equal rights, like the right to vote and even own land. The same issue of equal rights for men and women has been seen inside the gay, lesbian, and bisexual community as well.

As for the Oprah thing, yeah she was unfair to her. The guy sounded like he cheated before coming out to their wife which is really bad. Not fair at all.

Answer 2

It depends on who you ask. For most people I know, it's far more acceptable-especially among some men-for a woman to be a lesbian,but not for a man to be gay. But respect? No, I wouldn't go as far to call it that. It is true, that a lot of people do think it's a phase that women go through, like it's an experiment. I think this is because most times a woman who said she was a lesbian and now she is straight can still attract a man, why, because a lot of guys think that type of thing is sexy. But, in the instances I've noticed, women are sometimes more reluctant to enter a relationship with a man who says he has been with other men. They tend to think that if a man has had a sexual encounter with a member of his same sex, then it automatically means he is gay and he will never want or like being with women again, whereas for women, it's a totally different ball park. I'm not spittin' bs, just what I have learned from the people around me, and other opininons I have heard on the subject. It's a theory, nothing more.

Answer 3

The only reason for Oprah to go into attack mode on the lesbian like that, is because oprah is a closet case, who is hoping it is "just a phase" Lesbians are given the same respect as gay men (in my opinion).

Answer 4

Both Gay and Lesbian are persecuted just in different ways ...

but to answer your Q more forward ...
Yes I think Lesbians are disrespected more, they are women in an oppressive society, and they are Queer... not to play the "most oppressed game" here but really Lesbians have to put up with more disrespect then the men who are Gay, and on top of that they have to put up with what both the Gay and they have to go through with the HATE.
Lesbians have more sexual violence commited against them by men, while Gay men mostly aren't faced with the threat of being raped by a Straight Homophic Male (most of the time not 100% sureness though, there is sick twisted ppl out there after all).

So yeah, I'd say Lesbians have it worse ...
and the whole pitty thing is sickening too "Oh I'm a male and sympothize after all we males treat yall so bad no wonder yall turn into Lebians, I don't blame yall"
RRRRrrrrr
or I've heard
"I don't think being a Lesbian is wrong, but being Gay is, because women are oppressed"
What the F*CK?!?!?
or
"Oh, yeah can I have a threesome, yall are ALL hot!"
EEeWWWww
That would mean their Bi NOT Lesbian ... DUH what idiots!

Answer 5

oprah personally i think is crap. its all showmanship. many woman have experimented at least once in college. most men think its cool to see or watch two women together. with the men being gay they think its sick. men are always thought of as the bread winner and the woman takes care of the home as its going back to those days again. its a weird double standard in society. many states have made it legal for gays to marry. the majority that do are women. many think no matter who it is, its just a phase. its strange if you think about it, but gay men are they majority with aids. very few women ever get it.

Answer 6

More "respect"...not sure. Gay men are more openly attacked, whereas lesbians are generally ignored completely. Dunno which is worse. I'm sorely disappointed to hear that about Oprah; she usually, even while asking questions she thinks the audience would have, doesn't come off nearly so bad. :(
Might have something to do with the fact that Oprah is female. She therefore feels less "threatened" by gay men, who aren't going to make a sexual object out of her, as opposed to lesbians who might. Still, shame on her.

Answer 7

Both gay men and gay women are treated pretty bad if you ask me. People say they are pheods and rapists and lesbians will take away hetro mens girls friends, and vise versa...People also think you will turn gay if you hang out with a gay person. So much ignorance in the world.

Answer 8

to some people, it is a phase they go through because their husbands or wives are not making them happy

and in some situations, if they do come out of the closet, it could cost them their jobs and ruin their social lives, but i think its too over the top to come out on national television, especially Oprah, because they want or feel their stories needs to be told

Answer 9

i think is more more viewed as "acceptable" for men to come out of the closet than women because it like the norm for most, they might say that they were forced into marriage becuase of pressure from society, etc, for women the view is harder,, they are thought to be, when they "come out", confused, or going through a phase or whatever, becuase its less usual, many of these women have children and are viewed as "bad mothers" or "bad wives",, i think its wrong,,,
i didnt see oprah, but maybe she got into the "attack" mode because we all have heard about married men coming out of the closet, that would be old news on tv, not women,,,also i do see your point, men love to see two women together, but when they see or hear lesbians coming out,, its not as accepted as men coming out,,

Answer 10

yeah, now that you mention it..it seems like society is almost always depicting the gay couple to be two really handsome skinny middle aged successfull guys and the lesbian couples are almost always a couple of unattractive older women who always wear flannel.??