My hubby passed away on fathers day of this year. I think i am dealing with it well I have my moments where i cry and i really really miss him still but i am lonley and long for a guys arms to be around me. Is it ok to seek out a relationship this early? How long should I wait before dating again?
2006-07-16 16:48:31 · 30 answers · asked by swtbbygurl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok I should clarify alittle here! I am not looking for a new husband or marriage. I am just wanting to go out and have the security and intimacy of having a guy. I am not a one night stand person so no I am not looking for sex nor would i give it out to just anybody. I feel like this is what i want but and worried that others may be offended. I have been talking to a guy friend for a few weeks and he wants to meet he understands my situation and that i need to take it slow. he is very sweet.
2006-07-16 17:48:25 · update #1
It's totally up to you.
However, I would like to offer that often women confuse sex with intimacy. You may really be missing the closeness and affection, not necessarily the sex. If you do find a relationship, you might want that man to take things slow so you can receive the intimacy you need.
But if I'm wrong here, by all means there is nothing wrong with doing what you need to do to move through this painful chapter in your life.
2006-07-16 17:11:28 · answer #1 · answered by blueskies7890 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋
dealing with your husbands death is horrible. You need more than 2 months to grieve. although there is no set limit on how long you should, any sufficient time would more likely be around a year or so. the "missing a guys are around me thing" is your way of feeling lonely. it's not that you miss a man, but your man, and you will miss him forever, but you will get to a point where the pain will ease and you'll really want to get out there again. I just wouldn't do it because you miss a guys arm around you though, too many are jerks these days, and you'd be doing it for the wrong reasons anyway.
2006-07-16 23:55:08 · answer #2 · answered by Misty B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult time for you to say the least. Honestly, I think you will need some time dealing with the loss before you are ready to give to a new relationship. Otherwise, you will delay your grieving process and the new man in your life will end up a sounding board as you deal with the loss of your previous husband. I'd give it a year, in the meantime you can have social relationships for support, but I think jumping into a romantic thing right away could end up hurting both of you. Good luck and please surround yourself with supportive people who can also learn to give you some space that you'll need for a while.
2006-07-17 00:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience I feel two months is way too soon. I lost my husband over two years ago. I started thinking about dating 9 months after his death. But I didn't start dating till almost a year had passed. Yes being lonely is really a difficult thing to deal with. But if you start dating too soon it is more to fill a need you have. You need to move past this stage before you can have a healthy relationship again with a man. Don't rush...take your time!
2006-07-17 00:07:18 · answer #4 · answered by Sheila K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think first of all,you may need counseling.You need to be able to grieve for him,and at this point,I'm not sure if you really have grieved.If you have sex or start a relationship,before your ready,you may end up hurt and confused.It's called a rebound whether,from a breakup or a death.Get counseling,grieve,and when your ready,you then will know when your ready and won't question it.I just hate to see you get hurt.IF after counseling,the dr believes your ok to date,then ok.But don't try to 4get your hubby or replace him.You may just need companionship and can find that with female friends until your ready for love again.Good luck and I am so sorry for your loss!!!
2006-07-16 23:57:39 · answer #5 · answered by missyandgordon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you truly think and feel in your heart about this? What do your family and friends think? Is there a difference? Now you know.
In time you will seek out and find a wonderful relationship. . .but it will be a function of time and personal preparedness. . .so that you can freely give of yourself. . .and not out of a state of vulnerability. . .but a position of strength and confidence. . .that you deserve the very best at the time you were "in the market" and the other party like wise.
Are you religious? Get counseling. . .for grief. . .and how to get on with your life. . .to, yes, fill the void that you are feeling right now. . .with another partner/companion in life. . .it does NOT have to be the priest, minister, or rabbi of your own denomination or specific place of worship. . .just be comfortable with your selection so that it can work. (Alternatively, work with a life coach or family therapist on the same issues if you'd prefer doing this the secular way.)
"Blessed" or "Happy" are they that mourn for they shall be comforted. . .do not despair. . .you are not alone. . .Shalom (Peace) to you!
2006-07-16 23:59:22 · answer #6 · answered by MIKEBAYAREA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe you've grieved long enough. You might consider a support group so that you don't get involved with the wrong man. I would wait at least 6 months. Find a hobby and get out with your friends. Don't jump into a relationship this soon.
2006-07-17 00:04:26 · answer #7 · answered by mergirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please wait, you want to date again so you can concentrate on something other than the pain of losing your husband. If you do not deal with this completely, it will come back later. My sister started dating very soon after losing her husband and they got married. He was a loser that just spent most of her insurance money. Now she has do deal with this years later, please just take the time to work out how you are feeling.
2006-07-16 23:54:15 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Mad Maddy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should start dating when you feel comfortable dating again. There is no set amount of time to wait to date. You are not forgetting about your husband, you are getting on with your life. I'm sure that he would want you to find happiness again.
2006-07-16 23:51:54 · answer #9 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so sorry for your loss but i think you should give yourself some time as you will find that your heart is still with your husband give it at least a year that way you'll know if you are just not settling for anybody and his family and your family will be comfortable ti is too soon sweethearts again sorry for the loss but you should wait!
2006-07-17 00:02:14 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋