She was with this guy. He was a bipolar drunk/druggie and she got prego and had twins. He killed himself a few months ago. now she is talking to a guy use to be her bestfriend. He is suicidal, bipolar and in a clinic right now seeking help. She says she knows when I try to talk to her about it and I think that maybe she is trying to make up for the other guy somehow. Also how do you brake up with a guy that is in such fragile state?
2006-07-16 16:10:44 · 21 answers · asked by Shae79 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX you friend makes too many bad choices in her life. Thank Goodness she made one, having you for a friend. Don't give up on her, good luck and keep her away from bad seeds. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
2006-07-16 16:14:54 · answer #1 · answered by asoldierswife 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, first of all, your friend has some real problems if these are the guys she is spending time with. She needs to deal with those problems within herself. The problem there is that she will have to want to get help and no one can convince her of it. She will have to make that decision for herself. As for breaking up with someone in that fragile state.. I know that it will seem harsh, but there comes a time when you have to look out for yourself. Your friend is not responsible for his fragile state...she is responsible for her OWN fragile state. She needs to get herself away from such extremely negative people, get counseling, and become a whole person who will be a good role model for her children. You can tell her all this, and you will be right.. but until she sees it for herself, there is nothing you can do to change it. Don't expect her to listen to you and your advise.. but if you are a true friend, you will always be there.. ready to listen and ready with a shoulder for her to lean on when needed.
2006-07-16 23:29:01 · answer #2 · answered by Nancy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your friend has an addiction herself ..... she feels the need to be with these kind of people. Tell her to do herself a favor and get out of this relationship or she may be experiencing the same tragedy again. Suggest that she go to counseling......believe me....I know from experience. I had the same problem....and it is an addiction....just like choosing drugs or alcohol....you can be addicted to people that have these vices. You think you can fix them or help them, but believe me....you can't. Tell her to love herself first and then maybe she will make better choices as far as relationships are concerned. As far as breaking up with someone so fragile.....remember....who's going to take care of #1. Doesn't sound like he wants any help! She has to think about herself and her children....
2006-07-16 23:19:05 · answer #3 · answered by Bluewillow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy i haven't heard that bad of a story in years!! My sympathy to the loss of her 1st husband....but now she has TWINS>>>tell her to take care of the twins....forget about the suicidal, bipolar person who does not need her and she does not need him...what is she going to do bury another potential husband...she desperately needs some help...to find a good man who will accept her twins!! I mean it may be hard...but she shouldn't waste her time with this mentally ill person!! tell her!!
2006-07-16 23:18:27 · answer #4 · answered by sweet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she can be his friend but should not be his girlfriend and can't be his therapist. If she is worried about his mental state, she can notify his therapist before breaking up with him. If she can't do this, she can still call 911 if she thinks he is in imminent danger of suicide. In any case, she is not responsible for his well-being, since she has no power over his actions. She is responsible for her children's well-being.
2006-07-16 23:32:24 · answer #5 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs counseling right now. Not later. She is obviously attracted to this lifestyle and there has to be a reason. For her children's sake she needs to see why and how to break the addiction to drama. Offer to go with her.
Good luck.
2006-07-16 23:14:56 · answer #6 · answered by Kristonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she is drawn to these people in hopes that she can help them. You can tell her that you don't agree but she is going to make her own decisions. You are prolly right and she is trying to save this guy because she couldn't save her children's father. Just be her friend and be there for her no matter what happens.
2006-07-16 23:16:02 · answer #7 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I know that this is your friend but right now you should take a look at you. Why would you want to be friends with someone who does this? You can lead the catttle to the water but you can't force them to drink. If loser are all she wants then let her be.
2006-07-16 23:15:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must ask her what is more important: her childrens lives or her "need" of a relationship? (god, I sound like my mom.) She doesn't need a man to complete herself. She sounds like me, although I have no children, I often find myself thinking that I need someone there for me 24/7. Just ask her that question. I hope I helped and I hope it all turns out good for her and her children. I'm sorry for her loss.
2006-07-16 23:14:04 · answer #9 · answered by phoenix_chicka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her make her own mistake she will eventually see what she is getting herself into and will be around you more often. Beleive me there is nothing that YOU can do to make the siuation better. My friend was in the same situation.
2006-07-16 23:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, your friend will probably have to learn for herself. I had a friend in a similar situation and it took her getting burned twice before she realized she needed to get away from the guy.
2006-07-16 23:13:58 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋