My mothers father is almost dead, well he has refused anymore treatments he only has a matter of days. He has never been there for my mother and she has suffered a great deal of pain from him she is wanting to see him but he is being a *** hole and is refusing to see any of his kids the man never done anything to help his children he has turned his back on everyone! Any way my mother is sick over this hole thing what do you say to some one ecpecially your mother? This man "her father" has saw me maybe 2-3 times and I am 27 today, he has never saw my children and he would not even know my mother if he saw her I tried to play it down to my mom but he still is her father.
2006-07-16 14:57:20 · 6 answers · asked by Jro 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There are no good memories of him it has all been heart ache and pain for my mother!
2006-07-16 15:07:01 · update #1
Your grandfather may not want to see anyone at this point because he is feeling guilty and doesn't want to face anyone.. a lot of people who are about to die look at their life and the bad things they did and wish they would have done things differently.. he might just want to pass and not deal with any of that.. Your mother is feeling like anyone would feel.. even though he did bad things to her in her life no matter what that is her father and deserves the right to say goodbye and have closeure.. I would go there anyway and make him see me.. but this is something that she is going to have to deal with on her own.. just try to support her and tell her that you love her.. that is all anyone could do.. I am sorry for the loss and hope things get easier for your mother.
2006-07-16 15:19:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try your best to be there for your mother. That is about all you can do. You can't undo the past. It sounds like your grandfather chose what he chose. We don't always make the right choices. But, hopefully sometime in the future she will be able to get over this. Can she get some counseling??
2006-07-16 15:12:49 · answer #2 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Refrain from trying to "make her feel better" but let her grieve. She probably needs to grieve for the father she never had. Ask her about her memories of him and just let her talk, talk, talk, talk and cry if she needs to (she does whether she knows it or not). It's a sad time even though he wasn't really a father to her. You may need to do a little grieving to because you didn't get to have a grandfather.
2006-07-16 15:08:02 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes there is nothing you can say to make someone feel better. i would just try to tell her that soon he will be out of pain and maybe his soul can find some peace. even though many people want to see their loved ones before they die, sometimes it's best to remember them they way you want to, not the way they looked when they were sick. good luck and i'm very sorry.
2006-07-16 15:02:44 · answer #4 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be more respectful of your grandpa. You know, to refuse the treatments is his choice, even though it might be a sad one. As for refusing to see his kids and grand kids- well, how do you know, he remembers who they are? Maybe he doesn't remmber them, and doesn't believe who they are. respect his wishes, and remember him in good ways.
2006-07-16 15:02:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can say to alleviate the pain. her relationship with her father will haunt her and influence her actions for the rest of her days. you should probably push her towards counseling.
2006-07-16 15:02:27 · answer #6 · answered by girlygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋