We are both in our 30's. And I have never had sex with anyone. He was the first guy I fooled around with. When he was touching me down there it hurt. So he asked me if I had herpes. Then I was very offended for him asking such a question. He said it could be conjenital. But my parents were virgins before they got married. I am East Indian and my fiance is White. In my culture it is inapproperate for unmarried people to have sexual intercourse or even fool around. So I was hurt when he asked me that. He mentioned to me one time that when he was in high school his girl friends sister had herpes and she was a virgin. And that's why he asked me if I had herpes. He appologized for being insensitive and we got enaged a month later. He is a great guy in every way. He is loving, he is very encouraging, affectionate, a great cook etc, etc. But him asking me this question really hurt my feelings. So am I over reacting? Is it a normal question a guy should ask?
2006-07-16 14:54:00 · 6 answers · asked by cluelesschickus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are over reacting. Under the circumstances that was an appropriate question to ask. In the US a virgin over 30 is an abnomally and you should not be upset at him wondering if you had herpes. That could certainly account for the pain.
Do not over think this. Do not make too much of it. I think he was well within his right to ask you that question. You have no right to be hurt. Most of us do not live in a vacuum.
2006-07-16 15:13:22 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love you have to remember that he didn't do it to intentionally hurt you or offend you. It's also benificial to understand where he's comming from as well. In this country people sleep around. I'm not saying that its right but people do what they want to do regaurdless. It's actually important to know your if your partner has something that could be transmitted to you. Think about it this way. If he had herpes, wouldn't you want to know before you married him? Remember there is no cure for herpes and it can easily be transmitted wether you've had sex or not.
My boyfriend and I got tested for everything when we first got together. People can go years before they know if they have an std or not so it's actually a good thing to ask if your partner has anything or not.
I'm sorry you felt offended by him asking you that but he didn't do it out of malice. I'm happy to hear that he's a good guy for you. Just remember as you two go forth in your new life together to keep the lines of communication open. Stay honest with each other and no hiding anything.
Let him know where you stand on things so he can be aware of it. That way he can't say that he didn't know.
Best of luck to you both.
2006-07-16 15:21:19 · answer #2 · answered by ilah23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be embaressed if someone asked me this question especially if i were a virgin. but i think maybe he was just looking out for the both of you in his own little way. he seems nice and other wise straight with you by what you have wrote and he appologised as well for asking such a question. give him the benefit of the doubt, and dont be too hard on him. just let it go over your head. and enjoy your time together. and congratulations on your engagement, and good wishes to you both for your future life together.
2006-07-16 15:05:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i would dismiss it as one of those wacky things that people sometimes do/say... everyone does something weird once in awhile, especially someone that you grow so close to and get to know so well. If it bothers you though, you should talk to him about it again and ask why that was the first thing that came to mind.
2006-07-16 14:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by fuhreezing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are retards, and don't know how to ask personal questions tack-fully and sensitively.. I am sure he didn't mean it the way it came out.. but in t his day and age you never know. I would sit down and talk to him about your feelings I am sure he will be grateful that you opened up to him and let him know how that statement made you feel.. and will apologize..
2006-07-16 15:10:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can actually get a form of herpes if someone with a cold sore on their lip gives you oral sex because that is a form of herpes. but i wouldnt worry about him asking. he was just making sure there wasn't something wrong. congratulations on your engagment!
2006-07-16 15:35:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋