How to ween an incredibly dependent 16 month old off breastfeeding?

Question

My son feeds almost literally all day long, its not so much for food, more for comfort, something to do, and to go to sleep. I've gotten him used to putting him down to sleep before he falls asleep on me, but he's still really dependent on it. I loved breastfeeding, but I'm just over it now because I can never get anything done because he's always "feeding". PLEASE HELP!

Answer 1

What you describe sounds pretty normal for a 16 month old. It doesn't mean he's too "dependent" (although I doubt he goes out to work every day to support himself!!); it means he's a normal toddler! A baby between a year and a year and a half old will often nurse a dozen or more times a day.

You don't necessarily have to wean. You could partially wean so that he isn't nursing "all the time" but continue to nurse him to sleep...or once or twice a day (whatever is convenient for you). Your milk still has all the nutritients he needs *and* protects his immature immune system from many diseases. If you wean at such a young age, you may find that he's sick a lot--or develops allergies.

First of all, keep him busy. If he's nursing out of boredom, don' let him get bored!! Spend as much time as possible out of the house where the most common nursing cues (favorite nursing chair, for instance) aren't there. Be sure to offer him plenty of food and drink so that he doesn't nurse as his primary source of nutrition. Feed him *before* he would ask to nurse; once he's decided he wants you, it's probably too late.

In addition to distraction, delay is a time-tested, relatively painless way to speed weaning. When he asks to nurse, tell him "in 5 minutes". Then, 5 minutes later, offer--even if he has forgotten about it by then. (If you don't offer to nurse him, the 5 minute deal won't work the next time.)

I would also suggest you go to a local La Leche League meeting (see sources section below). There, you'll meet other women who are also dealing with the same issues as you with nursing a toddler. You'll get lots of support there.

Answer 2

Some of these answers really irk me and I can tell they are from people who know nothing about breastfeeding. Nursing a child is NOT gross or creepy no matter how old they are! Weaning should be a slow process. Abrupt weaning is devastating to mother and child. You hormones will fly off the wall and you will experience terrible weeping mood swings. Trust me, my daughter recently went through a 10-day nursing strike and I was a mess of emotions.

I know where you're coming from, my 11-month-old nurses more than 20 times a day. I thought it was much less than that until I counted a few days out of curiosity. I really enjoy nursing and so does she so I don't plan on mother-led weaning, but I do know what you mean about nursing 'round the clock! Before her strike (which was caused by a sore throat) I wished she would stop nursing through the night and now I cherish it because I know how awful it was. She was not ready to wean so the fact that she wasn't was horrible for her. She was more weepy and dependent than she is now that she's back to full time nursing.

Check out the La Leche League's website for info on weaning. They have some great tips on how to make it a positive experience for both of you! Congrats on breastfeeding.

Answer 3

That is great that you are and have been breast feeding ! - A routine will help and replacing nursing time with a bottle or pacifier may help as well.
Stopping breast feeding is not easy for anyone though because that is a comfort for you both.
Your dropping hormonal levels will effect you physically and emotionally.
I nursed my child until he was three and then stopped completely.
In preperation for the planned stop date I started scheduling nursing times. . . a 3-2-1 approach !
3x a day for a week, 2x a day for another, then only before bed (and always when he needed comfort).
It is not easy for either of you but you can do it.
Good luck :)

Answer 4

Oh I had this problem but my little one was 8 months old and I couldn't breast feed 24 hours a day had other responsibilities. If I put formula in bottles she would throw them and try to break them. What I did is brought the baby yogurt and juice that is already mixed together and put it in a bottle, or you could try the drinkable yogurt in the regular yogurt section. But I would try the baby one first, they are both healthy options. Also if that does not work you just have to bite the bullet and say no, my own mother could not ween me and I was a little bit older than your child, she had to let me cry and scream a whole night, I had the worst temper tantrum and tried to pull the buttons off her shirt. But after one night of that she was free, no adult with a child that age should be unable to ween their child.

Answer 5

That's gross. He's like 4 months overdue there. He shouldn't have a bottle or anything anymore. Just sippy cups. Just stop it. He'll cry for the first day or two, but he'll realize he likes having more time to get down and play and do his own thing. This is the age when they play more by themselves. Just put an end to it. If you don't, you'll be going to Kindergarten, sitting in the back of the room, waiting for the next feeding. That's so gross.

Answer 6

Congratulations on nursing full term. Breast feeding is SO important. OK, I had to just say no and put up with a lot of fussing during the day. I nursed mine to sleep, and in the morning till I was able to cut the morning feeding, then finally after nights of screaming, they give up. Sometimes it is harder for the Mom. To think "This is the LAST TIME"!

Answer 7

I think that you should make the breast less available for him, but it really angers me that so many people trying to answer this question say its gross to be feeding him still. That is so insane, breastfeeding into the toddler years is one of the most beautiful things. The worldwide average of breastfeeding is four and a half. You should try giving him water or juice. You could also try putting the stuff they give for children for sucking thumbs, you know the nasty bitter stuff on your nipples.

Answer 8

He's only playing the role that you set up for him to play, because you loved breast feeding him. That's not really a criticism of you, just a statement of what has gone on. He will adjust to a bottle while being held, and adjust to having it while lying down on his own. You just do it. Get him a pacifier and get him some toys to bat around over his crib and all the normal stuff.

Answer 9

He is way to old to be breast feeding.. you should have weened him off long time ago..if he is capable of eating solid food at the dinner table and drink out of a cup then there should no longer be a reason for him to be breast feeding.. I am all for breast feeding but I find it offensive when I see a grown child still feeding from his mother..

Answer 10

first of all,congratulations.its not something easy to do.im glad u did it for this much time.it will make a huge difference in his IQ as well as his health.weaning should b done when the mother is mentally ready to do it.if u r,u'll have to let him cry for one day or two.every time he crise,give him the bottle.he is defintely not gonna take it the first day but will drink only a lit cause of hunger.the second day will b better.by the end of the second day,things will start lokking better.just b prepared to having 2 tough days and 2 tough nights.if u can endure that,u'll achieve this seemingly difficult process.after a week,u'll even forget how difficlut it was..good luck!