A friend(23 yrs old) has got pregnant but her boyfriend did not want her to deliver the babe and broke off with her. My friend insisted on delivering her first child as she still loves her boyfriend and she does not want to kill the babe. However, her family did not understand and despised her. Now she has to rent a room outside and stay alone. With the serious morning sickness, she can no longer work. She is crying every day in her rented room....... And I do not know what advices to give to her.
2006-07-16 14:43:59 · 47 answers · asked by Love is the only thing you need! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hi! Firstly, I applause you for being such a caring friend to your friend and that's quite extinct nowadays. May I suggest that you refer her to a family service centre, Pregnancy helpline, Care Corner, etc. to get attention for her so that she could receive counselling rather than suffering quietly. If possible, bring to the attention of her boyfriend's parents and see what will be the situation and then take things part by part. It's correct not to abort the child as he/she is innocent and should not be made to pay the price of their mistake. But it's no use crying over spilled milk and so the next thing to do will be to seek a solution to this problem which she is facing now and see what can be done. Most importantly is, she must pick up herself again and be strong since what is done cannot be undone. Take up the courage and live on, go for counselling, take up a part-time/freelance/home-based job and work to save money for paying room rental and for delivery. Forget about the irresponsible boyfriend and bring up the child as closely knitted to herself as possible because the child will be the only "asset", one who is her own "flesh & blood", bring up the child properly and then the child will become a consolation to her as she grows up. Don't forget that she'll grow up and will not always be a baby so she will have someone to look upon. Encourage her to be positive and if she can become a good mother to her child, it's no difference whether or not she has a dad. What's the use of having a father if he's such a jerk! Right?? That's not the end of the world and there are many more such situation out there and, some are even in a much, much worser situation than she is in. Time flies very quickly and soon every situation, good or bad, will become a thing of the past soon. Look on the bright side of things. If she needed someone to talk to, please feel free to write to me at unending_bid@yahoo.com.sg and I will give you my contact number to keep in touch. Hope that these advice will bring comfort to your friend. Just a little encouragement...
2006-07-16 21:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by lim g 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
That is why it is so important to talk and learn about a person before you get involved with them. Because usually this is how it ends. Sorry the family rejected her like that but I really feel that the guy should be the one that the family should be against. She need to go and see a counselor who can help her and give her advice. Are you sure none of the family members will take her in? Could you take her in? She really should not be alone. Look up shelters that can take her in. Some one needs to support her until she has the baby. Because there is no way she can do this buy herself without killing herself or the baby.
This is so bad. Call Social Services and see if they can help. Call the police and ask them do they know of any shelters for people in her situation.
There should be some crisis centers somewhere that can help her.
If I were her when I get back on my feet I would never let them know where I was or have anything to do with them again. I would never forget this. NEVER
2006-07-16 15:21:46 · answer #2 · answered by vhat40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a single mother is one of the most difficult things a person can do. At the same time one of the most rewarding as well. What she needs to realize is that the baby isn't going to bring her boyfriend back into her life and that chances are she will raise that baby alone.
She needs to try to reconcile with her family ... she will need the help of her family and friends no matter what choice she makes in the future.
There is assistance for single mothers and she might even be able to get medical help through the county she lives in. She should check into any help she can get as soon as possible.
She is young and has her life ahead of her. Speaking from experience its not easy to raise a child let alone to do it on your own. She has to understand that having a baby will change her life forever and is a full time job for the rest of her life.
If she is determined to have the baby and raise it she needs to research all her options and pull herself together. Find support ... be it working it out with her family or close friends. Its not going to be easy, but the rewards of children is great.
There is also adoption ... not an easy decision to be made, but she needs to look at all options and decide what is best for herself and the unborn baby.
Support your friend in whatever decision she makes. Good luck and God Bless.
2006-07-16 14:54:11 · answer #3 · answered by J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend that my heart goes out to her. Believe it or not that just broke my heart because I know what it's like to be pregnant and scared. The same thing happened to me. Tell her to stay strong!! Tell her that right now she is probably only thinking about the negative but the Sun will Shine again. Women have been taken care of their children alone since the end of time everything will be okay. Tell her to remember that her baby is a gift no matter what. When she finally sees her babies face all the pain she is feeling will be worth it. Friend what ever you don't judge her and always be there as much as you can. She needs you more then you will ever know.
I can go on and on but I will stop. Tell her I'm sorry for her pain.
2006-07-16 14:59:57 · answer #4 · answered by s. life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That's a lot on her plate. U know that nothing is a guarantee in life. Maybe this girls' family will come around, maybe they won't. Eventually, things will fall into place. Being a single mom will be hard, but having support can make things a lot easier. As a friend, assure her that she does have u by her side.
She is going to need an abundance of emotional support. As for this guy, obviously, he is scared. It's a natural reaction to something that will be so life altering. Give him time to adjust to the fact that he has to be responsible for a life other than his own. If by time the baby arrives and he 's still not making an effort to be in the baby's life, give him hell. Make him pay CHILD SUPPORT.
2006-07-16 14:59:21 · answer #5 · answered by Timber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 23, she is old enough she should be on her own anyway. Her family, I bet doesn't despise her as much as they are probably disappointed that she now has to raise a child by herself on her own. She can get help(from the state), it may mean swallowing her pride, but it is for the child's sake and make the father be responsible as well(although I personally have issues with some decisions by the courts on this matter) even if he doesn't "want" the responsibility, someday he will regret the result if he doesn't be a part of it.
2006-07-16 14:51:55 · answer #6 · answered by javabug61 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad to hear that your friend is in such situation. Seriously I think as a friend you should lend her a shoulder at this moment. She is very vunerable as she have nobody to turn to.
What I personally feel is that you should encourage her to be brave and strong. Whatever happened in the past is history, so tell her put down all unhappiness and face up the challenges in future, especially for the sake of child.
What shocked me was that her family had despised her after this incident. I always feel that whatever happened, family support is always to be there when any members run into trouble. Sometimes you really have to try your best to cheer her up and make her forget the unhappiness.
2006-07-17 00:29:49 · answer #7 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG what an ***! I would say she needs to talk to the guy, he still has responsibilities to this child, whether or not he wants to admit it. He needs to grow up, and act like a man.
And she needs to reconsider what she should do. She is young, and if she is living all alone in a rented room, unable to work, then perhaps she needs to consider that she might not be ready (and able) to provide for a child right now.
She has options, keeping, giving it up to adoption (and a caring home that could provide for it), abortion. She also is going to need the support of her family to get through this, whatever her decision.
I wish her luck.
2006-07-16 14:54:12 · answer #8 · answered by Belial 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, tell her the morning sickness will go away. It's rough, but it doesn't normally last the whole pregnancy. And if it does, it gets easier to deal with. Second of all, I don't care if she loves him or not....she does not need to be with that jerk. If he could sleep with her and get her pregnant, then he should have taken responsibility. But since he didn't she needs to rid him from her life. If he doesn't want the baby now, it's scary to even think about what he might do to the baby once it gets here. Tell her to stay away and focus on herself and her precious baby. And about her family....that just makes me sick. If they really love her, they shouldn't turn their backs on her. Are they saying they have never ever made a mistake in their life? They have no right to judge her and cause her this heartache. Tell her to forget them, too. Just focus on the important things. It's great that she has you to help watch over and her and care for her so much. Just stick by her. Don't leave her. She needs you. But tell her she can do this without that loser and her family....she's a woman. She can do anything. I did it with my first one. Now I'm happily married, have a second child and my husband is adopting my first. His biological sperm donor can rot for all I care. My son and I are happier than we've ever been and have a man who loves us more than life. She can find that, too. Just tell her not to look for someone just to be a father. Look for love, and make sure the child is loved as if it was their own. Good luck and keep her in your prayers always. I'll pray for her, too.
2006-07-16 14:50:33 · answer #9 · answered by *~*~*~*~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok besides everything else that has happended she needs to concentrate on the future. the morning sickness should only last for a couple of months. once that is over with she needs to look for another job. and start to perpare herself for the baby.she doesnt need to tell her employer that she is pregnant untill 10 weeks before she is due to give birth.
i cant belive her family are not supporting her. why is this cause her partner wants her to have an abortion?
that is very strange that they are being like that towards her.....they will come round for whatever reason they are being this way.
the best thing to do is tell her to pick herself up and get a job and hold her head high and show her jerk of b/f and her low life family.
good luck.
x
2006-07-16 14:51:59 · answer #10 · answered by lovelygeorgeoussexy1986 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋