Will it brake us up or can we get though it?

Question

There is so much **** I go though with my fiancee day to day that is driving me crazy.Like he lies all the time over dumb **** so it make it hard for me to trust anything he saids to me.He dose things that I ask him nice as can be to stop and explain why I asked him to stop but he still dose it.Like he hurts me being to ruff and I tell him to stop but he gos and dose it again right after.He has never had a real girlfriend for a long time to know how to treat a girl so he saids bumd mean things that hurt me and when I need him like when Iam crying he don't do **** but let me sit here and cry.He hardly tells me I pritty so I feel fat and ugly to him.The thing is I love him alot but these things get to me.I really want it to workout but I scared it might not.I really don't want to lose him I love him.Do you think these things will brake us up or can we last though this, though the good and bad or is it to much to ask for?

Answer 1

It will be hard to have a loving lasting relationship with this man if he lies to you all the time. If you don't have trust, what are you going to do when times get hard. And it will get hard and trying for you even if they are the most honest person in the world. If he is the one for you, he will stop doing these mean things to you. He should make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world if he loves you. Maybe you ought to reconsider his love for you. Your love will not stand alone.

Answer 2

I think you sound like you are caught in a perpetual trap. There are a lot of women who put up with their b/f's or husbands, being too rough, and think that it was just a few times, it won't happen again, etc. I think you want to take a look at why you are there still, why do you want to put up with somebody who is not giving you a healthy, loving, caring relationship. You deserve it and more!! You need to take a look at yourself, and get to realize that you are a good, special person. You can't change him but you can change yourself and what you accept and what you don't. There is no reason for you to continue putting up with any of this. This is not something that you go through,t hat makes you stronger especially if he doesn't even know nor care when you are crying etc. I think, as hard as it may be, unless he wants to go to get help for himself and to couple therapy/counseling, you need to get out of this situation and as fast as possible. Do you have any family or friends you can get support from or stay with? I am concerned for you. Please, see what is going on here and act, not react, but act, to make yourself a healthier person and in a better place! Good luck to you. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.

Answer 3

You ask "will these things break us up" when really you should be asking "Should I break up with this thing?"

The answer to the real question is 150% yes. Get help, get support from your family, friends, and local resources, and leave him. This isn't normal "good and bad". Much of what you describe about his behavior is abusive. Abusive people (men and women) don't like it when their victims try to assert themselves and stop the abuse. They tend to become quite angry when their victim tries to leave, so please get help. You can call a crisis center from work or a payphone so he won't know you are calling. I am really serious here. This guy is an abusive ******.

When you are clear of him, get some therapy. Feeling devoted to someone who treats you like this is a symptom that something is wrong.

From helpguide.org - Domestic violence and abuse:
If you want to talk to someone, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-799-SAFE)
If you need help immediately, call 911.

What is emotional abuse or verbal abuse of a spouse or intimate partner?
Mental, psychological, or emotional abuse can be verbal or nonverbal. Verbal or nonverbal abuse of a spouse or intimate partner consists of more subtle actions or behaviors than physical abuse. While physical abuse might seem worse, the scars of verbal and emotional abuse are deep. Studies show that verbal or nonverbal abuse can be much more emotionally damaging than physical abuse.

Verbal or nonverbal abuse of a spouse or intimate partner may include:
* threatening or intimidating to gain compliance
* destruction of the victim’s personal property and possessions, or threats to do so
* violence to an object (such as a wall or piece of furniture) or pet, in the presence of the intended victim, as a way of instilling fear of further violence
* yelling or screaming
* name-calling
* constant harassment
* embarrassing, making fun of, or mocking the victim, either alone within the household, in public, or in front of family or friends
* criticizing or diminishing the victim’s accomplishments or goals
* not trusting the victim’s decision-making
* telling the victim that they are worthless on their own, without the abuser
* excessive possessiveness, isolation from friends and family
* excessive checking-up on the victim to make sure they are at home or where they said they would be
* saying hurtful things while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and using the substance as an excuse to say the hurtful things
* blaming the victim for how the abuser acts or feels
* making the victim remain on the premises after a fight, or leaving them somewhere else after a fight, just to “teach them a lesson”
* making the victim feel that there is no way out of the relationship

What is physical abuse of a spouse or intimate partner?
Physical abuse is the use of physical force against another person in a way that ends up injuring the person, or puts the person at risk of being injured. Physical abuse ranges from physical restraint to murder. When someone talks of domestic violence, they are often referring to physical abuse of a spouse or intimate partner.
Physical assault or physical battering is a crime, whether it occurs inside a family or outside the family. The police are empowered to protect you from physical attack.

Physical abuse includes:
* pushing, throwing, kicking
* slapping, grabbing, hitting, punching, beating, tripping, battering, bruising, choking, shaking
* pinching, biting
* holding, restraining, confinement
* breaking bones
* assault with a weapon such as a knife or gun
* burning
* murder

Answer 4

You seriously need to leave this guy. Love is something that is reciprocated between two people. He obviously doesn't love you in the way you deserve. There is far too much bad things outweighing what could possibly be measured as good. There is plenty of time to find a man who will validate you and make you feel special, there is no reason to feel the way you do in this relationship.

Answer 5

I had an entire length van interior the 70s. I took the 2nd seat out and my 3-10 365 days previous son had a play section back there on long journeys. Later i could haul 13 boy scouts in it with seat belts for a max of 5-8. yet, I wore my seatbelt as quickly as I drove.

Answer 6

judging by the language you use and your grammer, you sound WAY to young to even have a BF, much less a fiannce, you also do not know what love it to put up with any sort of abuse , you lack self esttem anough that you will not protect your self , and if you marry it will only get worse and you level of self will fall even lower, eventually he will kill you ( as most abusers usally do )
do not marry because there is pressure to do so, that is the WORST reason to do so and make you make bad choices ( like the one you allrady made ), more over you life goals ( carreer ) will NEVER happen as the abuse will prevent you from truly being focused, and being in focus and harmony will enable you to truly know what love is and move foward in life

Answer 7

Do you even have a clue what love is? You don't love a person who treats you badly. It's just not done. What in the world are you thinking and what are you thinking with? Get your brain out of storage and do yourself a big favor and leave him. He's not worth the air that you breath......I don't even know you and I know you deserve so much better.

Answer 8

Sweetie, why are you a glutton for punishment? Do you enjoy being treated this way? The first thing to do is to sit down and tell him exactly how you feel. How he reacts will tell you what you should do. Love shouldn't hurt. If this goes on and on, you will grow to resent him.

Answer 9

First off...what is the matter with you! Let's see....you love a guy who makes you feel fat and ugly?!!! What?! He hurts you and you tell him it hurts and he does it anyways!!! What?! GET HELP! No, wait....first DUMP HIM! Then, GET HELP! No one deserves to be with someone that hurts them. You need help to realize that you aren't ugly. To put it bluntly...YOU CAN'T LAST THROUGH THIS! And to ask you a question... (and you better not answer "because I love him") Why would you want to? Hope this helps, Matt.

Answer 10

You need to get out of this relationship. Believe it or not there is someone out there that will sweep you off your feet. It'll be hard, but leave. Start a new life, no contact. Trust me, it will get better. You need to talk with a counselor. It helps.