we have great chemistry and our passion for each other is second to none. We have been friends for a while and have taken it to another level just recently. She hasnt been happy for a long time.
2006-07-16 13:53:55 · 31 answers · asked by nvds 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
let her get a divorce before you try anything
2006-07-16 13:56:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well here's the thing though, the important part of your answer is "unhappily MARRIED." Therefore, she is still married hence, she has her cake and is eating it too! I would back away from her, unless you want to continue to be confused, upset and though you may love her, let her do the right thing. She needs to get divorced, get her own self together before she is totally committed or involved with you. You may have great chemistry, all of it, but the fact remains that she is still married. IF she is that unhappy, then, tell her to get a divorce. For now, you need to set her free. You know the saying, when you love somebody, set them free, if they come back to you, they're yours, if they don't, they never were. Yes, oh yes it is going to be difficult, and painful but sometimes through that pain, we become the stronger person for it and things are made clear in our lives. I am sorry you are in this situation but it does take two.............so do the right thing, and let it go with the idea or ultimatium as to what you want. Unless of course, you really don't mind being with somebody who is cheating on her husband and then one day, she'll probably be doing it to you too! Be strong, as hard as it is, and let her go and do what she needs to do. In the meantime, take care of you and go out with your friends, have some fun, and get to know again who you are, what you want. Good luck!
2006-07-16 14:32:17 · answer #2 · answered by Laurie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to wait until she's fully divorced or you are going to be the one getting hurt. If you are both in love and she no longer loves her husband then she needs to fess up and start the ball rolling with her divorce. Right now she's having her cake and eating it too - she has a secure husband at home and a great boyfriend on the side.
In many cases a cheating spouse doesn't leave their partner no matter what, even if they are "in love" with the other person. Security and knowing that they do love their spouse on some level often keep them in the marriage. Talk to her and tell her you don't want to be the "other man" and let her know until she can get her divorce going that you don't want to be anything more than friends with her.
2006-07-16 13:59:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving a person sometimes brings us pain. Unhappily married woman doesn't mean she didn't love her husband. I think she still love her husband as she still stay married with her man. Stay away from her because she hasn't decide what she wanna to do. Having a relationship with a married woman will only brings pain. Why not just wait until she had divorced her husband??
2006-07-16 15:47:28 · answer #4 · answered by rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know that she is truly unhappy? Married womens emotions vary with what they get and do not get from their husbands--whether emotionally, financially, etc. Unless she had actually spoken those word, " I am unhappy and want to leave my husband," I wouldn't bet on her going anywhere. She may be happy with certain aspects of the marriage and unhappy with the others. You need to find someone that is only devoted to you. Her husband will always come first to her as long as she's married to him--no matter how unhappy he makes her at the moment. Believe me, if her husband changed the things about himself that leads her into your arms, she'll pick him. No offense--it's just the way it is when involved with someone married. They have built a life together--planned a wedding together, bought things together, built many memories together--which is difficult to compete with. Being in a long term relationship with someone doesn't compare to being married. Being married has deeper ties--which make it more difficult to leave.
Find a single unattached gal and be happy!
2006-07-16 14:42:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You leave her alone, that's what. You may think you love her, and maybe you really do. But you should never break up a marriage. Get away from her. If she divorces him on her own, then wants you, then go for it. But don't be the cause. You'll regret it all your life. And just think about what could happen to you if this guy finds out.....Not pretty. One more thing to think about....if she's cheating on him, what's to say she wouldn't do the same to you? It's exciting now, but what about when the flame has died and she's bored? Something to think about......
2006-07-16 14:08:24 · answer #6 · answered by *~*~*~*~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very happy to know you are bringing joy to this woman's life. Take the relationship slow. You have to know a person really well, and not just rely on your emotions.What you might be feeling now is just infatuation. Time will tell. Give it that time, and avoid heartaches for the both of you later down the line.
2006-07-16 13:58:57 · answer #7 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have waited for her to get a divorce before you got involved with her. Apparently she isn't that unhappy if she is still with him. Remember the forbidden is always full of passion and chemistry. You are in for a rude awakening.
2006-07-16 14:10:28 · answer #8 · answered by Desiree S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you think about married women sleeping with guys that she isnt married too? What do you think about cheaters? What do you think about liars? Is lying, cheating and infidelity the types of traits you are looking for in a woman?
Have you ever had a girlfriend before? How would you feel if she was getting with someone behind your back and then coming home and crawling in to your bed?
I believe that you have great chemistry. I bet the passion is great. Did you ever sneak out of your parents house and meet a young love in the middle of the night? I sure did. The passion we shared was like no other. It was so exciting. It was new, neat, nice and risky. It was cool, huh? Dude, this is the same thing.
I bet you love her. I bet she tells you how awful her marriage is. I bet she has painted a picture in your mind of her husband that makes him sound awful. It may or may not be true. It doesn't really matter, huh?
How do you feel about her going home to him every night? How do you feel about her sleeping with him, atleast next to him every night? How would she feel about you going home and sleeping with another girl?
If she does decide to leave her husband, are you going to be willing to let her come to you? Do you have any idea how long and hard a divorce is? Will you be able to deal with her talking to him all the time, crying, fighting, complaining about him, hearing about him, etc.? Could you deal with her possibly going back to him if she leaves him for you? The biggest question, could you deal with her sleeping with him, after she has left him with you? I know you think she wouldnt, but what really makes you think that? She sleeps with you while she is with him. Would you really ever be able to trust her? They say, once a cheater, always a cheater...what do you think about that? Are you willing to live with the horror that you are causing/will cause her husband? Can you deal with being "that guy?" What if things don't work, will you be able to accept the pain that you will cause her? I mean, she wasnt going to leave her husband, until you opened the door for her. Now, she is "that kind of girl" you are "that guy" and neither of you have anything but guilt and shame to hold on to, right?
How do you feel about the potential dealings with her husband? You know, many men take great exception to the other man. Heartbreak causes great pain. It causes people to do things out of passion that they normally wouldn't do. Some guys like to get revenge, I guess. Do you want a part of that?
What do your friends and family think? Have you talked to them about it? If not, why? Is it because you are afraid of what they might say? If so, does this raise any red flags?
Have you thought about telling her that, although you love her and want to be with her, that you dont want to be a part of this current situation? However, if she were to do the right thing, then you would be willing to pursue it. Have you thought about telling her that you dont want to be the other guy hanging by a string? Have you thought about telling her that you dont want to be the fool that goes to bed each night alone, while she is lying next to him? Have you thought about telling her that no man deserves for his wife to be doing this to him? I assume you have. If so, why havent you? Are you afraid of losing her?
Dude, SERIOUSLY, will you ever be able to trust this woman? Can you live with the aftermath?
2006-07-16 15:33:54 · answer #9 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she was so unhappy for so long why stay and dont feed into im scared or the kids or no money bull crap it seems that whenever people want to creep and they are married they use the excuse im not happy be truthful im happy but i want to creep and see other people you need to wake up for how ever long she has been with you havent gotten a divorce take key she aint going to and now you are having sex with her if her hubby finds out the both of you are going to be in deep sh** you should of walked when she said the word married and told her if its meant to be when you divorce we can hook up
2006-07-16 14:08:56 · answer #10 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i happen to be one of those unhappily married women who found someone and if you love her there is nothing wrong with that if she loves you then all things r possible. sometimes timing isnt perfect but love is confusing . just talk to her and things will all workout. good luck to u on this and i hope you find answers .
2006-07-16 14:05:28 · answer #11 · answered by wondering 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋