how do you antain a healthy relationship, as my self and hubby constantly bicker?

Question

we disagree a lot about things other people have said to us the petrol in the car, you name it we bicker. Help before we kill each other!

Answer 1

Opinions are like but holes - everyone has one. Also everyone's opinion is not going to be the same and you need to respect this. You can each share your opinion with the other and leave it at that. Stop trying to "convert" each other to your way of thinking. Agree to disagree. Simply state that is your opinion and this is mine without getting heated about it and move on. The underlying issue may be a factor, but a lot of it could be pride or stubborness and a competition to see who is right. "Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not easily anger. . . Love keeps no record of wrongs. . . " I Corinthians 13

Answer 2

I have been in your shoes. If you both truely love each other than with help you will be able to make it work. If either one of you had a tramadic event in your past you might have an issue to work out. Try talking to a therapist seperate then together to try to open things up and make things known that really are bothering you. I never really knew why I was always yelling and fighting and then I started the healing process and grew up. Bad past does not help or keep a healthy relationship. Try a therapist not a counselor but an actual therapist. Most therapist have more of a comfortable surroundings so it doesn't feel so weird. Don't give up on love but just remember that love is not eough. You must have faith, communication, trust, and respect among other things. Just remember that time will heal if you work for the better. Good luck.

Answer 3

First of all, just my opinion, but you can't run away from your issues regaudless of what they are......they will always follow.

My husband and I have been married going on 2 years, and yes im still a newbie to marriage but im not a newbie to fighting. My husband and I fought everyday for our first year, and it got to the point where we almost divorced.....it never got physical and it should never get physical no matter what exscuses the man might use. No woman deserves to get hit, and no man deserves to get hit either.

You really want to start by PICKING YOUR BATTLES, is it really important to fight about how the toilet paper is on the roll, or how you squeeze the toothpaste out of the tube? Is is important to fight or argue about WHO gets the shower first or who makes dinner?

Once you establish what is OKAY and just rediculous to fight about then it will happen less frequently. You also need to learn to give and take a little, if he doesnt feel like washing the dishes one night....fine.....but he gets to put the kids in bed instead, or he has to fold laundry...he is getting what he wants, and your getting what you want because he is still helping you do something.

One thing that I strongly believe in, is that if you NEVER fought or argued something is wrong with the relationship, and it's usually communication or the fact that one of you doesnt really care. Some fighting and arguing is healthy, but some will almost always make your marriage self destruct, like fighting over the toilet paper roll.

Try this- Sit down one day when hubby is at work and your taking a break from daily chores or activities.

Write a list of ALL and I mean ALL the things that drives you nuts or pisses you off that your husband does, BUT don't always make everything negative, it will make the fighting worse because he will feel like he is being attacked.

So.......on that list ALSO WRITE all the POSITIVE and GOOD things you like that your husband does, such as taking the garbage out without you having to tell him a million times lol. Or the sweet kisses he gives you.

BE FORGIVING.....forgive and forget and once you learn to do this things will also get so much better, and the fights won't last as long. If your fighting just say okay honey I see your point ( only if you do ) and say im sorry. Men will ALWAYS MESS UP lol it's in their genetic makeup like us women love to shop lol. So keep in mind that one day maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day he is going to do ar say something so mean or stupid and knowing that he will, will make it easier to forgive.

and the last thing that I have done I call this STEPPING UP.

If your fighting or arguing and things are getting to the point where the arguement is going to get nasty, walk up to him and hug him, it will usually cool things down a bit.

Never walk out....if u walked out to relax and he fell over dead from a heart attack your gonna feel like crap, if you need to go and chill out, let him know your going outside for a smoke break and that you love him and will brb.

DONT YELL......yelling is just a way for people to try and get their point across first, and 2 people trying to do that in a fight usually ends up in a fight to the death.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS IS A 2 WAY STREET, THE THINGS YOU DO TO TRY AND HELP THE RELATIONSHIP HE MUST DO ASWELL SO SHARE THEM WITH HIM, AND GIVE IT A SHOT!

Good luck 2 you both!

Answer 4

read some books about communication skills. It takes two to argue, but only one to stop it. The link below is to a website with some resources that can help you.

Answer 5

You need to give each other some space and do things on your own for a while. Maybe you're spending too much time together.

Answer 6

Why in the hell did you marry each other?
Was there any thought put into this BEFORE you two discovered you can't stand to be around each other?

Answer 7

firstly, what's wrong with arguing? And if it is as bad as you say it is, just choose not to argue within yourself. If he starts something and you let it slide, you avoid an argument. Just tryand keep the peace and hopefully he'll follow.

Answer 8

take a separation, and get a fresh view on this