This question is for people 45 and over please.?

Question

I am a woman who is newly divorced (good thing). The question I have is: "How does someone over 45 begin to meet single, educated men?" I tried different churches and found men who want to spend all their time at church. I don't want to meet someone in a bar because I just divorced an alcoholic (even though I still drink because I'm not an alcoholic). I am ready to meet new people, I just don't have a clue how to start. (I am listing this under divorce so I don't get a hundred answers from kids under 12.)

Attention please: I am quite happy on my own and not "searching desparatly for someone to fulfull me". I would like to talk to someone my age who is reasonably intelligent. The town I live in is about 5000 people. There really is no social group or activity to get involved with in this area.

Answer 1

I met my husband on match.com, back when it was [e-mail], we are happily married with six kids and I"m a stay at home mom. My sister met her husband on there 4 years later and they are a happily married Doctor and pharmaceutical rep. So I am all for meeting on the internet, just not dating on the internet. Use it to filter out people and find out about them without giving out your personal info (no last name, phone, or address). We both dated cautiously, would meet men at public restaurants, get their numbers, and further contact would be our choice. Too much contact on the internet and phone, and in person is disappointing. Just use the internet to find out their values and set up dates so you can use your own judgement about them. People can be very deceptive, but not so much in person. I loved it at first, I didn't buy my own dinner for about 3 weeks, and then after my first date with my husband I removed my ad, and we've been together ever since. Hope this helps, but I think it is a safe way of dating if you set your rules/standards and stick to them.

Answer 2

I almost meet the age requirement for your question!
I have a couple of suggestions.
1.) Do things you enjoy. Hobbies, whatever. And look while you are doing that. This increases your chances of meeting someone with something in common.
2.) Because you live in a small town maybe that is not the answer
all. So why not try the internet for dating? Hey you can screen people, and chat before you even go on a date.
I have personally seen a success storu from eharmony.com
I respect your statement. Dating should be fun, and your not
out to meet " the one" to marry again right now. The fact that
you are motivated enough to try says a lot.
[e-mail]

Answer 3

Sorry to say this but because woman out number men 10 to 1 it will be hard to find someone single. Just about anyone you meet will have a mate and/or girlfriend that he is keeping a secret. And you really can not designate a place where you can meet single men. It is really hard to do so. Only thing I can suggest is to try www.eharmony.com, though I have never tried I heard it is good.

Answer 4

No interests besides drinking and church? Take a class! Something arty or dance or yoga. Go an the "art walks" if you enjoy art. My mom met her second husband through a Scottish dance class. I met my partner through the metaphysical events that centered around the store I worked at. We were both over 45 at the time. Are you in any professional organizations? Network out into a volunteer position with a group you are interested in. Concentrate on expanding and enriching your life for YOU, not just to find that new relationship. It never fails that when you are content to be with yourself, you find someone to share that contentment with. Good luck!

Answer 5

I have been looking for a woman for about 15 years. ( I am 60) I don't drink so I don't go to bars and Church has not been a good place to find women who want to date. I don't know how to answer your question because I have been having problems finding someone myself.

Answer 6

Thats always a tough situation but really they are everywhere. The grocery store, friends of friends, and bars aren't all bad, but i know what you mean there, i don't drink so thats why that is an issue for me. Have you tried online dating? if its done through a reputable service and you use common sense and safety its a very good way to meet people. good luck to you!

Answer 7

I am 50 and divorced. I am having a very difficult time finding someone my age with the brains to talk about something besides American Idol or some other idiotic pop culture event.
Don't have much advice.

Say...what do you look like? (ha! ha!)
Bitterbill5002@yahoo

Answer 8

Try online dating sites. Even starting out with this simple forum.
It takes time and effort. Just remember that theres alot of BS out there that you have to go through. Good Luck.
By the way I am a 47 yo DWM :)

Answer 9

If you figure it out, let me know. I've tried Match.com, but found most of them to be damaged goods. Such unrealistic expectations and all that.

I've have been interested in learning more about wine and have found some wine tasting events in my area. They don't seem to mind beginners, as most of them enjoy imparting their knowledge (some too avidly, but it's harmless). FYI, "winos" aren't generally alcoholics, but I agree about bars. All you find there are people who hang out in bars.

There are ways, I suppose aand wish you luck. Just think of things you like to do and start doing them. You're bound to find someone who likes it, too.

Answer 10

Do you have other hobbies or interests besides church? That would be a good place to start looking.

Also bookstores, coffee shops, the gym, music venues that aren't bars...

Maybe volunteer work?