i caught my husband talking w/other girls on the internet, he said he wasnt cheating..?

Question

my husband was over seas working, when he came home to visit for 2 wks he was always on the computer, i didnt thing much, but one day when i got home from school he was acting wierd. So i checked out the comp. & found his own personal web pages w/ pictures of himself that he also sent to me. I also found profiles of him, stating he was single and looking for someone to talk to. When i confronted him about it, of course he denied it. Then when i showed him what i had found, of course he said he was sorry, it was all a game, some of the guys were bored and used his name /address etc.. i told him he cheated on me, but he doesnt see it that way. He said he never slept w/anyone. well i took him back, and about 6 mths later i found out he was looking at profiles again, his included. i dont trust him like i use to , i dont even love him like i did, im in a marriage that i dont believe in & a husband i cant trust.. but im afraid to end it because i dont want to disappoint my family. help

Answer 1

it depends on what he was talking about. if he was talking dirty or sexualy, then yes it is like cheating but he didn't ''do anything'' w/ them

Answer 2

So sorry, Baby, I know this is tough! You are the only one who can make the decision to stay or go, but it almost sounds like you've already made up your mind. I'd say talk to him and see if you can reach some sort of common ground, but if you really don't love him any more, I don't think you'll get that feeling back. As for the folks, I can identify: almost 40 years ago I had to leave my first husband due to infidelity and abuse. NO ONE in my extended family had ever been divorced (though some of them surely should have been!!!!)--all good Catholics, etc. etc.

Well, they weren't the ones living MY life, so I did what I had to do, and you know what? I ended up having a lot more support from the kinfolks than I thought I would.

I don't really think your husband "cheated" if he didn't meet or sleep with any of these women, but he certainly is looking. And, unfortunately, people don't usually look if everything is OK at home. The Internet is very different than looking at a dirty magazine here or there. On the net, you are actually communicating. and can make arrangements for more.

Good luck, Sweetie. For what it's worth, I'm behind you whatever er you decide.

Answer 3

I think you need to reassess the grounds for which you're throwing away your marriage. If your marriage isn't strong enough to find a way through this petty little situation, then I think you maybe got married for the wrong reasons. I think that if you can stop feeling the same way about him because of this then you probably didn't really love him in the right way in the first place. I don't think that him posting online means that he loves you any less. It's more likely that it's a hobby that he picked up and as you know internet usage can easily become quite addictive. I don't see it as intent to hurt you or your marriage or your family. It's something he just got caught up in.

If you want to end it don't try to stay together for the sake of your children. That can cause the most harm. Staying together for the wrong reasons isn't at all healthy, not to you and neither to the family. You need to take this decision based on how you feel about him. You should talk to him and address your insecurity about him posting online and let him know that you feel as if you're being cheated on. Only then can you either resolve your problem and decide to move on with your lives or call it quits.

Answer 4

In a situation like this, a yahoo answer will probably not cut it because the issues go very deep... Unfaithfullness does not have to include a physical relationship.. if he is doing what you say than I can understand why you have lost trust and/or love for him... In your situation what it may take is an ultimatum.. Stop at once or I am going to leave you... be fully prepared to back it up.. If he does really love you he will stop... if he does not stop, or only stops for a short while, it may be time to move on... I will pray the Lord gives you wisdom to make the right choice at the right time... Blessings to you... I am very sorry for what you are going through now..

Answer 5

Well Hun I'm really sorry to say this but Ur so called husband is truly cheating. Is he retarded? no. Does he no he's married?! yes. Then why the heck would he be saying he is single. He is somehow either bored with the marriage. Maybe you guys should try more romance, whether it involves sex or not be romantic. If all else fails try marriage counseling if he continues to cheat a divorce should be Ur final step.

Answer 6

This happaned to me, too. I trusted my husband wholeheartedly and caught him talking dirty with other girls on the internet (ugly ones at that), he also said "i love you" to one of them and that sealed the marriage to total dismay. Then he admitted that he's been doing this since 3 months after we got together. You're not alone in this, alot of women get ****** over cause guys dont realize that that kind of b/s is just as bad as cheating, depending on how sensitive thier girlfriend or wife is. Especially if you're really loyal. My advice is to get a divorce, or if it's difficult to let go or get out of this marriage, start cheating on him, go out with guys, try to find someone else who's into you and not stuck in some fantasy world of computers and internet fantasies.
Don't stay with him because you'll never be able to trust him again. At least, that's my advice.

Answer 7

think about it this way. would your family and others respect you if they found out what he has been doing?
i'm sure you're family will not be disappointed if they realize what he has been doing. this is completely not your fault, just a husband who decides that he's bored.
however, he didn't actually do anything with any girls, but this can show the first signs of dishonesty. have a real talk with him and discuss how you're feeling.

Answer 8

It sounds to me like he's 'intending' to cheat. He may or may not have. Only he would know that.


Just remember one thing, if you do end it, do not be afraid to disappoint your family, you must do it for you. There is nothing worse than a man who is unfaithful and your family will support you in your time of need. Be brave and keep your chin up.

Also, it is you that is married, not your family.

Answer 9

Wow, that is aweful, however you do realize that they are different ways to cheat, Not just with the body but with the mind. I wouldn't trust him as far as i could spit.

As far as your family I wouldn't care what they thought, you are the only person that has to walk in your shoes everyday and life is to short to be unhappy

Hope things get better.

Answer 10

I truly understand ...my b/f did the same thing we both had web pgs up but I assumed it was intertainment for the both of us...his went futher he decided to travel and be with this woman he meet but tellin me it was for business purposes..lil to be known to me it wasnt..The only way I found out about it he told me he made a mistake and we would talk about it when he came home...he hasnt returned ..So my advice would not to dwell on the what ifs but to do sumthing about it b4 its too late!!!! DO this for YOURSELF and no 1 else !!!!

Answer 11

Okay, if he is saying he is single and putting actual pictures of himself on the profile, get rid of him the last thing you need is some STD's. because he's stupid and apparently doesn't give a crap about anyone else but himself!!!!