How do i overcome poor sportsmanship?

Question

I hate to lose!

Answer 1

I spent over 23 years as an umpire and referee. The biggest problems I encountered during games was sportsmanship of adults. For the most part, youth players hardly ever have the same problems as adults.

The biggest thing to remember when losing is that you played a game. Even if you play professional sports, you are still playing a game. By definition, games are supposed to be fun. When you get bent out of shape from losing, then the game quits being fun.

Instead of focusing on losing, focus instead on what YOU (and only you) could have done better during the game. That way a negative experience becomes an opportunity to learn and improve your own game. Never focus on what your fellow players did wrong, never focus on what the coach did wrong, never focus on what the officials did wrong. Each of those participants should focus on their own performance, and grow from it.

Too many people like to blame the officials for their losses, and when they do that, they shift the blame away from themselves. Teaching a kid to do “duck the blame” is a huge disservice to the kid. Doing that deprives you of an opportunity to teach kids how to cope with disappointment and/or anger.

Trust me when I say that officials know better than anyone else when they bust a call. If you think team locker rooms are yelling platforms for coaches, you should be in the officials’ locker room at half time or after a game. Officials are the most self-critical group of people I have ever known. That is saying a lot since I also had a career where I was around fighter pilots quite a bit.

As for dealing with your own issues about poor sportsmanship, take a drink of water, close your eyes, relax while you breathe deeply a few times. Once you open your eyes, put a smile on your face. Given the opportunity to address the other team, say positive things to them such as, "Wow, dude, you pitched an awesome game!" You may also say something like, "One of these days I'm going to learn how to make those 3-pointers and look as graceful as you do. Great game!" In complimenting the opponent, you change your own mindset and you will set the example for other players.

As someone else said, just the fact that you recognize this problem is a step in the right direction. You will not change in one day, but if you work at it, you can definitely make a change.

Good luck to you!

Will D
Enterprise AL

Answer 2

Winning is the accomplishment of everything you've learned so far and applied to the best of your ability. When you win, your feeling of accomplishment overshadows your desire to learn from what you did.

Losing is the push to learn what you did wrong, or what the other person/team did better, and improve on your skills. You have two opportunities to learn how to do better: 1) Practice, 2) lose to a better player. I can think of no time when I've won at something that I learned as much as when I've lost.

Sportsmanship is the attitude you display before, during, and after the game. It won't matter how good you've done if at any one of these times you look like a poor sportsman. So be a winner every time and congratulate those that do better as graciously as you would accept their praise for being better.

Play ball!

Answer 3

Ask yourself the following question: In one hundred years, will anybody care whether or not you won that game? Of course not. So how important could it possibly be? When we get too tied up in pointless endeavors like winning at sports, it's time to get over ourselves and ask questions about what's really important in life. There's a certain joy in watching other people win sometimes, too. Relax. As another person's already observed, it's just a game...and that includes sports, business, romance or any other pursuit in which one person could possibly be pitted against another. The world of competition is strictly from the Stone Age. In the modern world, cooperation is stressed over competition. Humanity has tried the competition model, and it never really worked out very well. It's the dangerous "I've got to win at all costs" mindset that leads to wars.

Answer 4

I had the same problem when I was in high school. But I overcome it by seeing that losing is the only way to figure out your mistakes and not do them the next game. See, after every loss, I reviewed the mistakes I made and wrote them down. Then the night before the game(or sometimes right before the game) I review the mistakes and try not to make them again. One mistake was not passing to m teamates(I was playing basketball). But in one game, I had 4 assists and our team won(it's true). So I learned my lesson and started gaining more assists. So, review mistakes and don't do them again.

Answer 5

Don't act like a baby when you lose. Good sportsmanship means you can take a beating like a woman. Everyone knows women are stronger than men, anyway.

Answer 6

Since you know you have a problem, you are better equipped to deal with it. You just have to keep reminding yourself that it is only a game and that you are not going to win every single time. It's just a game. That doesn't mean that the other person is better or smarter than you. I am quite sure you are a wonderful person...

Answer 7

Stop caring so damn much. The sole reason I was highly turned off to sports at a young age was the idiot jocks that took it way too seriously. They're only games. They're supposed to be fun. Period. When it goes beyond that I'm out.

Answer 8

One technique is to focus on what your opponent did well. Complement him or her on that, be genuine about that, and give them credit for the victory. If you make excuses or tell your opponent "oh you just got lucky" then it doesn't really validate that you lost, only that you didn't win...

I believe that if you do this, you will be able to better balance winning and losing.

Answer 9

a) Losing is not the end of the world.
b) Winning does not prolong the world.

Keep that in mind!

Answer 10

Start winning.