my stepkids have been bought off for under $100...?

Question

my husband has custody of his 2 kids, ages 15 and almost 14. their mom has had very little contact with them since the divorce, she may see them for a week here and there, but then may not so much as call for 6-7 months. but when she does, they buy into her every time. my stepdaughter can be bought off with a cell phone. my stepson's price is a cell phone and a trip to 6 flags. mom gives them those things, and BAM its to hell with my husband and me. when mom's not calling, they hate her, dont want to see her, trash-talk her, etc. I have known these kids since they were 4 and 3. I dont treat them any differently now than i ever have. the only difference now is that im the one living with them. my husband is to the point now that he's talking about signing his rights away just because of the way the kids have turned on him, repeatedly. they tell him one thing, then when they see mom, they tell her another, and things get stirred up all over again. is there any other choice??

as for me, my ex is trying to get custody of my kids, so i cant really deal with my kids' mess and my stepkids' mess. i'm to the point now as well, that if they want to be over there and live like that, more power to them all. my husband and i have our own house, we both have good jobs, and we're getting our finances in order well enough that we're able to buy almost anything we want. the ex's on the other hand, both live with their dad (the ex's are bro/sis). neither of them is working right now. neither of them have their own car. theyve both been on meth, among other things. ex-husb had a severe anger problem. ex-wife stays doped up on pills. and their dad is a crying drunk and they all are likely to pull a gun on anybody. its crazy over there. but the kids want to be in ths sh*t. i mean, wtf????

Answer 1

What you have to remember is that you are dealing with teenagers and that is what teenagers do. Rebel. You and your husband are the disciplinarians. What child likes to be disciplined? There mother, in an effort to make up for her short comings as a parent buys them gifts in attempt to win their love. No matter how hopeless the situation may seem, those kids need you guys. They are under the false impression that life with mom is going to be all peaches and cream. When the truth of the matter is "mom" sucks as a parent. I have no respect for any women who would give up custody of their children. If your husband signs off his custody rights he will be doing a big disservice to your children and in the end they will surely regret it.
I only know the little that you have told me and I don't actually know how bad things are in your household. However, I will give you this piece of advice, before your husband signs off on his custody rights, tell him to consult an attorney to find out how much he will be looking to pay in child support. As far as your kids turning on you, I wouldn't worry about that too much. That only means that you guys are doing something right. I will be praying for you. Good luck.

Answer 2

Yep. Every time they treat you and/or your husband with disrespect, bust their asses. If its any consolation, mommy dearest will never really be loved by them. She'll have to keep buying their love for the rest of her life and believe me when I say that if you think the kids are expensive now, just you wait.

Answer 3

Now is when they need you most of all. Don't give up. They're love for their mother only seems temporary as her love seems to be for them. They are confused because her love is suppose to be unconditional. All they see is her bringing them gifts which they confuse with love. They'll learn the hard way the difference.

Answer 4

they will come to their senses, dont worry, and mom will be "the bad one" again... give it a bit