My fiance is shy about being nude and intimate?

Question

My fiance and I have lived together with two other couples for three years now. We all get along extremely well, and rarely have an argument. Last year one of our roommates, Bill, his grandmother died leaving him with a rather large inheritance. We always joked about all of us going to this nude vacation spot we had been told by friends about, that allows intimacy right on the beach. When my friend recieved his inheritance, we all made our plans to go, and last month we went. My fiance is the shiest of all of us, and we knew this would be hard for her. During the night, and during breakfast, it isn't shocking to find any of the rest of us running around naked, but she herself stays covered always. After a week at the beach she started to relax a little, and by the end of the month relaxed enough that she didn't fight me when I would persuade her to have sex on the beach. We've only been home two days, now she's dressing fully at all times again. How do I get her to relax at home too?

I love her no matter how she acts or dresses, but the minute her clothes go on to leave our bedroom, it's like other walls go up around her as well. I liked how relaxed she was getting with us on our vacation, and which she could stay that relaxed with all of us. When she keeps putting these walls up, she starts getting stressed. I want my fiance as relaxed as possible because I love her, and want things to be easier on her.

Laraldm, it takes A LOT of work. And it took time for us to figure out how to make it work. We made promises. Some are... We don't gossip about each other. If we have a problem with someone, we can talk to ONE of the others to help find a best way to address an issue, and then we go to that person. It's really hard to learn to go to people each time you have a problem, but with six people in one house, you have to. It's taught us a lot. Most of the reasons we've been mad or hurt with each other is misunderstandings. We never realized before we all lived together how many times one person says something and the other person takes it completely the opposite way. So open conversation is a must. Respect and responsibility is another. If we did something, we own up to it. We refuse to bring up the past or name call when we're upset. If we're just tired or having a bad day, we say so before we say something that will hurt the other, giving each person a chance to walk away.

Continued, also respect of beliefs, space, and such. No one thinks like someone else. We will always have different opinions. The question is, do they have to affect your friendship? A lot of things people argue about are opinions that having nothing to do with the friendship itself. And many more things like that help people live together. Also forgiveness and passiveness. Some chores will be forgotten once in a while, some one will inevitably lose their job, do we all pitch in and help our friend, or yell at them that money will be tight this month for rent because of it? We have chosen to see the good in each other. One of the girls even gets us to sit down once a month and write out reasons we are thankful for each other. This helps a lot as well, being appreciated makes getting a long much easier.

Answer 1

That's an interesting question. But there are many details that you left out about your relationship history. She probably doesn't like the publicity of her nakedness and, by coaxing her she will likely go along with it but secretly resent you. Women tend to do this...let their frustrations build up until a torrent of emotion comes out especially when they are embarrassed but feel pressured. She may just not be a public exhibition type of gal, but I'm sure she'll get nude for you once in a while. My best advice would be to drop the issue, but present yourself naked on a spur of the moment and she will likely follow suit when she sees that you don't overemphasize the nudity.

Answer 2

Aside from any other issues, I hope you understand that if god had meant for people to run around naked, they would be born that way. I guess that's my poor excuse of an attempt to warn you that you will probably get a lot of answers that you are wrong and you shouldn't run around naked.

The sex on the beach is pushing things a bit. Your fiancee could be feeling guilty or ashamed that she let things go that far and is trying to compensate. Some people have major hang-ups about nudity. Add public sex into the mix and they are stressed. The bottom line is that you really shouldn't push anybody into something they don't want to do. Especially someone important to you.

Try relaxing, stop pushing her and let her relax. Reassure her that you still love her and don't think any less of her for what happened on the trip.

You could try this. If she is willing with no pushing, see if she will go to a nudist colony with you. Locate an ASA sanctioned colony in your area and check it out. I will tell you up front that a legit nudist colony is NOT a place of free love or public sex. They are simply a group of people with a common idea that the human body is not shameful. They are open, honest, and friendly. They also have a lower divorce rate than the general population.

If she is not interested, drop it. Give her the time and space to be herself. If this type of thing is that important to you, you need to decide if this is the girl for you. Talk it over with her and try to reach an understanding.

Answer 3

Any answer that starts with "Sinful lifestyle" should be taken seriously. Maybe your fiance was raised with the belief that the body should be covered. Maybe she is just shy and doesn't want to be naked. You just have to discover what the hang up is and work with it. If she doesn't want to be nude, then let her be clothed and don't pressure her about it.

Answer 4

i want to know how that many ppl get along all the time

Answer 5

okay, you've got bigger problems than you think. Please stop living that sinful live style and find out what life is about, and it's not all about YOU. I hope your fiance wises up and moves out.