i am married to a chef i have been feeling a bit let down laterly my husband works fifteen hours a day and i work on his off days i feel let down as a wife and mother i do all i can for my family but he
says i am selfish
2006-07-16 10:50:50 · 34 answers · asked by ang 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to take some time, any time and devote it to each other. He needs to take this time as well and meet your needs. You are the mother of his children and he needs to realize you have stress too.
2006-07-16 10:54:13 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
me and my husband both work shifts, both full time and we are like ships that pass in the night. kinda works for us because we knew from the start what our working lives are like. was he always a chef working 15 hours a day? And how many days does he work? try and get some time off together and do something as a family. you both have to try to make your marriage work, but if its not going to, then leave or tell him you want a trial separation and see how things go. Let him know how lonely you are. If he loves you he will listen. Oh go to Ann Summers aswell and buy some times for when you are on your own! Ive got a toy box full, and on the rare occassion that we have days off together the toy box is always fun! Good luck!
2006-07-16 12:39:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you talk to him and work out a doable schedule that sets aside at least a day out of the week or every 2 weeks for you guys to spend time together.
Or save up/take a vacation together. How can you last a marriage when 2 people never see each other. Maybe do some switching of your shifts so there's some time in between to do stuff together.
2006-07-16 10:54:34 · answer #3 · answered by ♥iamsleepy♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to somehow try to find some time to your selves. Can one of you change your days off? Remember you are both working. It is not like you are chosing to be gone, as in going out with friends all the time, or just running down to the local bar to have a beer. It is hard. I am a full time mom and my husband works about 10 hours a day. Even when he is home I have my hands full with the kids, or he does by spending time with them. So we try at least once or twice a month to go out by ourselves at least just to go out to dinner. Even if you have to get a baby sitter to come around 9:00 at night and you guys come home around midnight or later if you can, it will help. Then you need to make sure he spends time with the kids too. Even if you have to do something to give them a half an hour together, it is very important.
2006-07-16 11:00:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
never put his words to be more important over his actions! facts: he works 15 hours a day.he blames you. he is your husband = be with you, take care of you. does he love you or his work more? is he really married to his work or to you?is he more selfish than you? is his 15 hours temporal or not?
will he risk loosing his work/money or rather loosing you? you will always invest time is what is valuable to you! talk to him, if no change, leave him. remember how you both started the relationship and what you did together. he must come be with you or without you and the child/ren. can he give the work to somebody else instead? tell him the fire will go out if no new woods are put in! he has to make up his mind, you too. do not settle for less than the best! let god help you!!! both.
2006-07-16 11:00:31 · answer #5 · answered by stefan s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a house wife while he works to support the home, you both need to sit down and dedicate at least one day a week for family day. Be inovating try new things and get out of the normal rutine. How about buying a game were you all can participate.
2006-07-16 10:58:21 · answer #6 · answered by Bubba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he work to support you and the kids?? If you need him home more you should work more for balance. No one says a wife needs to stay home with the kids its a shared responsibility as well as taking care of the home finances. If things continue this was it will lead to tension in the family and possible resentment. Your devotion should be to each other first and everyone else second.
2006-07-16 11:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by love154100 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he's a chef i guess he's a better cook than u so we have 2 use a different tactics.The living enviorment has 2 be clean discover the music he likes when he comes home have a glass of his favorite wine, take his clothes off run his bath with favorite bath oil join him in tub if applicable serve his favorite meal and get down to business.If plan- A fails call me for plan -B
2006-07-16 11:17:55 · answer #8 · answered by sangoma43 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your not selfish, you obviously need him there for you and your family. This is the problem my mum had when my dad uses to live wiith us, he was never at home! What is the point in the marriage if their never going to be there for their family. The fact that he doesn't even understand you, he thinks you're being selfish. Maybe as his wife though our supposed to support him, but if your really not happy then talk to him, tell him you want him there! ;-)
2006-07-16 10:58:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there one day of the week that you both have off? Or any evenings? What you need to do is make time for each other, by scheduling a regular weekly "date." Get a sitter, go out and spend some time together. It doesn't have to be expensive, but you owe it to each other (and your family) to invest time in your relationship. Good luck!
2006-07-16 10:56:24 · answer #10 · answered by Peggy M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has his own business quit your job and work w/ him. If not start your own together. If not possible then tell him to shut up and stop calling you selfish cause you love him and miss him and that is normal and he had better find a way to work something out or there will be smoke on the horizon !
2006-07-16 10:55:19 · answer #11 · answered by ₦âħí»€G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋