I have an essay due Monday. Its called an "arguing to inquire" essay on marriage and depression. Anyway, I believe that depression may play a small factor in deciding to marry but it should not be the biggest part of the decision. In my paper I have to present evidence/ideas that support my and go against me. I just want to see what y'all think. I need to see people present their ideas so I can glean some ideas from answerers. Even if you don't agree with me thats cool!!! If you do agree with me, but wish to play devils advocate and debate just to debate, that is great too!!! Again, I don't believe that depression should be the deciding factor in marriage. Please help!
2006-07-16 10:18:38 · 8 answers · asked by wood_elf_86 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Put up a question on here that makes you sound VERY one sided and people will come out of the woodwork.
Say something like:
I think people only marry because they are depressed. How about you?
People will go wild with arguements.
Personally, I got married to a wonderful man and I did it in the height of my life. I loved life and was not depressed at all.
2006-07-16 10:22:54 · answer #1 · answered by Mama R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure if you're asking if depression is a catalyst for marriage or not. But here it goes. I think just plain love is the catalyst for marriage. I've been married for 14years. Love put us together and kept us together. It hasn't been easy. There were times it would have been easier TEMPORARILY to walk away. But would it really have been? No. Granted, in my case domestic violence is not an issue. No...I don't believe depression plays a role in getting married but it may play a role in staying married. Some people may be too depressed to have the energy to do anything else but remain in a bad situation. They've learned to live with it and have decided to mourn their dreams instead of redreaming new ones. Good luck with your paper.
2006-07-16 10:24:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm interesting concept.
I would say that depression likely plays a role in some marriages but not most (at least not in United Statesian society), in our society the idealized romanticized version plays a much bigger role in the decision to get married, specially for women. Depression however likely plays a role in the decision to get married in older females facing the prospect of spending the rest of their life's alone. It may also play a role in older males without children facing the possibility that they may never have offspring and not see their genes survive them.
It likely also plays a role in the decision of young people but only if they are insecure and believe that being part of a couple in a marriage would somehow make up for their own shortcomings.
Overall though I would imagine that it is a very small and poor incentive to make the decision to get married.
2006-07-16 10:28:59 · answer #3 · answered by Eli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It shouldn't be any factor in marriage, although people suffering from depression often don't have the energy to fend for themselves so may get married just because they think someone will take care of things or solve their problems for them. this is, of course, seriously flawed thinking, which one would expect from someone suffering from a mental illness. anyone considering marriage to a partner suffering from depression should ensure that they get the help they need before making any final decisions on the subject. being married to someone that is depressed eventually becomes, well depressing. they may think they can save them or fix them, much as they do with addicts or alcoholics, it doesn't work and the healthy individual will get dragged down in to the ugliness in time, or have to walk away to save themselves. until the person suffering from the depressions realizes they need help and takes steps to help themselves there is no way they should consider something as complicated as marriage. i wasn't sure what you were looking for but i hope that helps you.
2006-07-16 10:26:01 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that many marry in desparation...depression...for fear they will not have another chance. Then they find that, perhaps being alone wasn't such a bad idea to begin with. I think you have a very real point, but ... not all marriages are based on desperation, and still, more often than not, they fail...now THAT is true depression!
2006-07-16 10:25:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My EX was verbally abusive. After we separated I was on an antidepressant, for 2 years. I believe depression does go along with the cause of divorce. But The depression was also caused by the miss treatment of my EX, who did not understand me.
2006-07-16 10:24:43 · answer #6 · answered by Right Wing Extremist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wasn't depressed before marriage ,just after.
Shouldn't mary a depessed person , A depressed person should get treatment first to be sure he or she is making a choice in the "right frame of mind"
2006-07-16 10:25:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I truly disagree. Depression is not a good foundation to build a marriagr on,and my opinion is it will be doomed to fail. I suggest you take care of the depression first and then see if yo still want to get married.
2006-07-16 10:24:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋