Does it matter?

Question

I used to be told I was pretty in my 20's. I wore a bit of make-up, worked out most days, always had new clothes. But now I can't be bothered. I don't wear make-up, I wash my hair and go, I never buy new clothes anymore. I still do work out 3 times a week though...but basically I can't be bothered anymore. My young natural youthful look is gone and I can't be bothered to make an effort. The problem is my friends who still make an effort everyday keep asking me what is wrong? Am I depressed? They've comments that I don't dress nice anymore and I explain, I'm sick of wasting money on new fashions. I like chilling out in track suits now. I can not convince them that I am OK and just fine how I am. I'm almost getting a feeling that they are looking down on me when we go out and see what I'm wearing. What do you think? Should I be making an effort to keep my friends happy.

Answer 1

no

Answer 2

You should be making an effort to keep you happy. Its alright not to wear make up and mess with your hair but dressing is something that you do in a way that is appropriate for the situation or event. I understand why they are asking if you are depressed, it sounds as though you have given up and think that just because you are 30 something you can't be attractive anymore and that just isn't true. Its good that you still take care of your health, but you think your looks are a waste of time. Try fixing yourself up one day and seeing how good you can really look and how many still tell you how pretty you are, that should fix you right up. I'm over 40 and people still tell me that i'm pretty.

Answer 3

What do you mean your young youthful look is gone? Maybe you're feeling like it is and this could be the reason that you aren't caring about it any more. I don't know but, I'll bet if you're working out and taking care of yourself you are still good looking! Not putting out any effort does say something about what you think of yourself.
I would suggest using some nice skin care and at least putting on some nice lipstick that you like. It's a shame if you're taking care of your body, that you aren't caring about your hair and your face! I could be wrong about this, and probably am, so just disregard this if I am, it's just hard to tell on here sometimes by a few sentences!

Answer 4

Do what makes YOU happy. But make sure you are truly happy.

This is obviously bothering you somewhat or you would not have written here - and you would not have worded your question the way you did.

Sometimes we just get tired. I modeled for many years and got very tired of being judged solely on my looks. I felt that I had so much more to offer. Even when I got out of the industry people were still judging the book by its cover.

Finally, when I was in my 30's I stopped trying. No makeup, frumpy clothes. I claimed I was "simplifying my life" when in actuality I was insulating myself from a materialistic and harshly judgmental world. I gained weight and had to listen to people tell me how I "used to be so beautiful."

Then I met someone who showed me that I could have the best of both worlds. I can be beautiful and smart. I lost the weight (100 pounds) and began taking care of myself, by dressing nicer and wearing makeup. I started feeling better about me. I did not do it for him, he loved me not matter how I looked.

The funny thing is, I was much better able to get across the intelligent, talented woman that I am, as an attractive woman than I was a frumpy one.

But you must do what makes YOU happy. If you like your style, go for it.

Answer 5

Hi..

Nothing wrong with dressing down, going without make up or not fixing your hair....but if you look better, you'll feel better about yourself.

Also, if you look too sloppy, your friends, even though they like you as a person, might be embarrassed by the way you look if you go out in public with them dressed sloppy.

You dont need the newest style clothes to look good. Just make sure that what you wear is clean and neat......but fix your hair and wear a little make up.

You'll make your friends happier and as a result...it will make you happier too.

Answer 6

Well I think that you have that choice explain to your friends that your priorties have changed and that you no longer feel the need to wear makeup or designer clothes. Tell them that you are happy and as your friends you hope they will understand how you feel and respect it. Ultimately you have to please yourself and not everyone else. Although there are someplaces where wearing a track suit and not something nicer is considered inapporiate. I say dress apporiately for the occasion or event that you attend. If your friends are looking down on you maybe you should consider what made you friends in the first place.

Answer 7

Just be yourself. If your friends cannot or wont accept you for what and who you are.. then let them go, since they arent such a good friend afterall. Tell them you are perfectly happy with the way you are in your life now and to just lay off. Good luck!! New clothes and makeup is good if you want to spend the money time and effort, however in my opinion.. being pretty comes from the inside.

Answer 8

If your friends don't accept you for who you are, always, then they aren't very good friends, are they? People change, sometimes drastically and sometimes subtly. It sounds to me like you just decided that certain things weren't really important to you anymore, and the things you changed really aren't important. I've always been a person who doesn't wear much makeup, I shower and go, and I don't care about wearing what's fashionable. Yeah, part of me still wants to be perfectly made-up and trendy and adored, but I think that's natural. Ultimately, you need to be comfortable with who you are and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

Answer 9

Absolutely not! It is not your responsiblity to make your friends happy and if they are true friends, they will love you and support you no matter how you choose to live your life. I, too, gave up the wearing of makeup and spending alot of money on clothes many years ago. I love comfort and I don't like spending a bunch of time in front of a mirror, messing with my hair or putting on makeup. I am clean, neat and natural and that's the way I like it. People who know me, love me for who I am, regardless of what I wear. I even wear my t-shirts and pants with my hair up in a quick bun to church and noone seems to have any problems with it. Be yourself! Concentrate on being a good person inside and those who truly care about you and are not just superficial will love you just as much, if not more, for being true to yourself.

Answer 10

Unless you're trying to save money for gasoline, you should buy some new clothes, once and awhile. And wear makeup, too, even if you have to create your own. To not buy and wear new clothes, once and awhile, makes one look homeless or poor. But the clothes matter more than the makeup.

Answer 11

No. If you don't want to wear makeup or wear the fanciest designer clothes, good for you. That means you're true to yourself and appreciate who you are and don't need to beautify yourself through artificial means. Your friends are the ones with the problem, not you. You like who you are and I respect that. Wave yourself high girl and wave yourself proud.