i havwe lupus sle i am in pain all of the time so i am addicted to my pain killers, (i take one 3x a day) i figure it is an addiction cause if i do not take my pill i hurt really bad so if i need to take it it must be an addiction,anyway my husband says i cannot tell him not to drink since i have to take my pills, i am getting really sick of this i told him i would quit taking my meds, if he will quit drinking but that is not what he wants to do, i am 50 i do not feel like mothering him anymore whatt should i do?
2006-07-16 09:19:14 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Read a book called "Facing Codependence" by Pia Mellody. It really changed my life. It will help you relearn to establish your personal boundaries, and help you decide what do do about your relationship.
And no, alcoholism is not the same as pain management.
2006-07-16 09:24:19 · answer #1 · answered by Bifferoo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First talk to your physician about your need for the pain killers. There are some conditions that are painful. If the pain is getting worse your physician should be informed. You may not really be addicted. Three a day is an average in managing a painful condition. Second, your husband's drinking is a separate issue. It would be good to see him in therapy. However, that may not be an option yet. You have a serious illness, take care of yourself first. He is stressing you and that is making you worse. Again, talk to your physician about all of this. He may be able to help you.
2006-07-16 16:46:03 · answer #2 · answered by Rosie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay...so he's been an alcoholic for a long time. You've put up with it this long, what makes you want to change now? Does he beat you, withhold food or money or medical care from you?
And what do you mean by mothering him?
Lupus can be such a debilitating disease. I would suggest you get pain management help. And I suggest you also read up on codependency.
I pray for you both.
2006-07-16 16:29:02 · answer #3 · answered by angel eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Detach yourself from your husband's alcoholism and concentrate on yourself. An alcoholic's priority is the next drink.
Until your husband reaches the lowest depths of alcoholism and reaches out for help, or dies before he does, your efforts to "change" him will have no effect.
Al-Anon provides support for individuals and families living with an alcoholic. Search the yellow pages or the Internet for Al-Anon groups meeting in your area and get there. Being embarrassed about seeking help is not an option. Place no guilt on yourself for your husband's alcoholism. Do not allow your husband to place guilt on you for his alcoholism.
2006-07-16 16:59:13 · answer #4 · answered by Baby Poots 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a tough situation. He is using your pain meds as a excuse for his drinking. You can not help him stop drinking unless he wants to quit.
I am on pain meds also. I have severe leg pain.
If you are not happy, leave him. Life is more enjoyable when you are not miserable.
2006-07-16 17:29:35 · answer #5 · answered by Lizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AA, NA, al-anon, these are free groups that will be able to help both of you. AA works for alcoholics and drug addicts alike. So does NA (narcotics anonymous) Al-anon helps with those who allow others to continue with an addiction. Great groups.
2006-07-16 16:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you probably have lupus because you CHOOSE to stay with him.
lupus is an autoimmune disease in which your body attacks itself.
you are mentally and physically attacking yourself lby CHOOSING to be with a moron. get rid of your lazy attitude and lazy mindset, leave the jerk and maybe you'll be cured from lupus.
stop staying in self destructive relationships. your body does not like it.
2006-07-16 16:30:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET SOME SERIOUS HELP FOR BOTH OF U
2006-07-16 16:23:04 · answer #8 · answered by JAZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yup
2006-07-16 16:26:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋