My wife and I have had marital problems. She has allowed herself to become close to a friend of hers. She has left me for him in the past and has come back but things aren't the same. I suspected she was still cheating and now she is pregnant. She wants to be with me, but did she do this so that periodically she can meet for visitation and then have sex with him? Am I crazy? I accept the pregnancy like it was my own but question where we stand and her intentions. This is not something you can just come out and ask. Signs say she enjoys sex more with him but I am the better choice for our family, I guess. This is so confusing and complicated. Please help.
2006-07-16 08:58:05 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I see alot of the same responses here, as I knew I would. The fact is, the baby she is pregnant with is not mine. I already knew that, even before she did. I can accept that without hesitation. The dilema is that I cannot just give up on my other children, they deserve better than that. I cannot change the past and I know it is going to be very difficult to trust her again. Just to clarify, I have made irresponsible mistakes myself(not infidelity)but I want to work past it all. The question is.....will she? I would like to think so.
2006-07-16 09:46:47 · update #1
That's a tough one. Can you accept her infidelity? How about the child she's pregnant with? Can you accept it and love it? Can you love her and respect her, year in and year out after all that's happened? Ask yourself these questions and answer them truthfully, then decide what you need to do! Good Luck!!
2006-07-16 09:06:06 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Basicall you answered your own question- you are crazy if you stay. You are still hoping for a miracle of all miracles; that your marriage can be saved and live happily ever after. Your wife on the other hand has other ideas and they dont match yours. Basically she wants the best of both worlds and evidently is willing and has done anything to get them. The sex with him is a combination of jealousy and your mind going wild; normal feeling. The biggest problem here is who exactly is she pregnant by, and who ever the father, may need a paternal test here, and what you are going to do as husband especially if the baby isnt yours. It will take on hell of a man to take responsibility of the child if it isnt his, as in this case presumably. Can you live with yourself knowing these facts and the possibility that she could continue seeing him no matter what she says? I say you deserve better and nothing good can ever come of this anymore. File for divorce, do a paternal test once the baby is born, do the responsible thing if you are the father, and if so seek visitation rights to stay in your childs life, but most of all, get out of this marriage immediately, move on and find someone who has the same dreams as you,because you are making this more complicated and are destroying yourself mentally putting upwith this crap. Email if I can be of help and good luck
2006-07-16 09:18:26 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Weel this is what you say to her that if she loves you and wants to be with you that she will limit her vistation to the baby's father were he is to pick the child up at the house and then return the child to the house so there she can not have an affair again. Or you can tell her you love her butr you will NOT tollerate her Cheating. the best thing I can tell you is to follow your heart and your mind together don't follow one with out the others input my heart told me to stay after my man did what he did so I stayed I though about it and I made a good choice I hope this helps you out
2006-07-16 09:06:16 · answer #3 · answered by sillycat2_chat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can you even want to stay married to this person? I mean, come on. She's cheated on you. She left you. She's pregnant with another man's child. She's staying with you for financial reasons only. Find your self-respect and kick her *** out the door. You deserve better. Do you really want to be sharing your wife with other men? I should hope the answer to that is NO!!!!!
2006-07-16 09:10:16 · answer #4 · answered by Spyder Woman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with some of the other answers. This is not a healthy relationship and you are damaging yourself by staying in it. It will hurt to leave, but you will get better. Read a book called Facing Codependence, by Pia Mellody. It changed my life.
2006-07-16 09:28:40 · answer #5 · answered by Bifferoo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is something you are going to have to decide. If you suspect that she is cheating then she might be. Is that how you want to spend the rest of your life? Counseling sounds like a good option.
2006-07-16 09:06:21 · answer #6 · answered by PATTY H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was going to post a link to an app to catch her cheating again, but it sounds like he's . . . over it. Mate, you're in a marriage with 3 people now. you need to pull the plug now cause it's only going to get worse later when they're fighting over money, time and you sitting in there in bed with her while they're arguing back and forth on their phone. Leave now or suffer for YEARS!
2016-07-01 08:50:09 · answer #7 · answered by Knowitall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF U THINK THIS MARRIAGE IS NOT GOING TO WORK IN THE LONG RUN I SUGGEST U GET OUT OF IT
2006-07-16 09:14:14 · answer #8 · answered by JAZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love her follow your heart but if you don't trust her then let her go.
2006-07-16 18:40:37 · answer #9 · answered by mylove 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she cant have both....i woulda left her a long time ago
2006-07-16 09:08:17 · answer #10 · answered by bill6866 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋